Don't forget your medicine
What is it about staring down the barrel of .
45 caliber that makes you feel like your looking at yourself. Is it the fact that you see yourself as hollow as the steel tip in between the brows or as cold as the steel pressed against your wet skin as you realized you're out of options and the smarter alternatives you had before have slowly slipped between your fingers like the sand at the beach, one of the few times you could truly remember being happy. What have you done, you can't blame him but when he has looked for this reason from day one what can you do but tell him he's been right all along. The way his interrogation traps you in a loop that will distract you from ever pointing all his wrongs, or the way he barricades your car in the driveway when you want to just drive off the way he does and slam the door and hide away to a hotel room with the money, the drugs, and the electricity. The laptop, the lube, the obvious conclusions, the company, the climax, the controlled air conditioning. The peaceful ambiance of the two that have been posted at your house for nearly a month waiting for product so they can get the fuck on before his demand for meth further distance him from this reality that has evolved rather quickly. These words are limited when your home is without power so I will express what I can with the next two percent.I was committed. I fell for the trap, or answered his request. But I should've known better. I should've known better than to allow him to make me feel the way he has. i should’ve know better than to allow him to provoke and shove my emotions into a corner with hopes to subdue me rather than let them go their natural course and given me that standard amount of happiness and hope that any individual deserve. The reasons for wanting me to feel anyway but happy isn't anything I care to ubderstamd. The bitter plotting for Vengeance and hopes of a long and miserable life over actions I have committed or disagreements or different pages we may be on as he tries to tell me my intentions or the story that I was involved in because In his mind he can already see how it guess slab before I have even gotten back. Just act like he doesn't hate you and hold your composure until you figure it how you plan on making it out of the dark. Just sleep off the night and if you can help it try not to wake up until it's well past the noon. Because that's just that much less you have to wait till you can sleep again