oh yeah i fogot a couple.
Hey you, homeless person asking me for money, FUCK YOU. I'm not giving you any money cause you're just going to buy shit and get high, you know how I fucking know this? Because when I go to McDonalds and buy you a fucking big mac with special sauce on a GODDAMN SESAME SEED BUN, then bring it back to your dirty hobo ass, you hand it back to me and ask me if I have any fucking money. NO YOU ASSHOLE, I JUST BOUGHT YOU A DELICIOUS MCDONALDS COMBO, I'm trying to be generous but you're just being a dick. I'll never give you money cause you're not going to help yourself with it, douche.
Magic bullet, FUCK YOU. Your commercial has been on TV for like 10 years, maybe make another fucking episodic nightmare of an infomercial for once. I hate your cast of characters that you can apparently provide meals for in under 10 fucking seconds. IT TAKES MORE THAN TEN SECONDS TO CUT SHIT AND COOK SHIT AFTER YOU'VE USED YOU, MAGIC BULLET. And who wants a chocolate mousse that's made from pure cream? NO ONE YOU PIECE OF SHIT. Don't tell me that you're better than a blender, YOU ARE A FUCKING BLENDER.
Stoners, you're in the same fucking group as everyone else. FUCK YOU. Stop escaping reality and take some fucking initiative. EVERY TIME YOU COME DOWN YOUR PROBLEMS ARE STILL THERE. And by the way, you ate all the goddamn junk food in the house, AND DIDN'T EVEN THINK OF GOING OUT TO GET MORE CAUSE YOU WERE HIGH. I WANT CHEETOS YOU FUCKERS.
Yogurt, FUCK YOU. There is no new science with you, YOU'RE THE SAME SHIT THAT YOU WERE 20 FUCKING YEARS AGO. Don't tell me that you have new organisms that weren't previously discovered. B.L. Regularis? THAT'S NOT A NEW ORGANISM, IT'S A FUCKING MARKETING PLOY. It doesn't make you lose weight, IT'S FUCKING YOGURT. And what's up with the spelling of your fucking name? Why are you "yoghurt" in England and "yogurt" here? PICK ONE AND STICK WITH IT YOU PIECE OF SHIT MILK PRODUCT.
Hey pharmaceutical companies, FUCK YOU. We don't need another fucking anti-depressant, you know what we need? MORE CHOCOLATE. MORE BUTTERFLIES. LESS FUCKING DEPRESSING JOBS. Not more goddamn drugs to pollute our bodies. How about you do us a favor and maybe pay for our therapists, OR MAYBE BUY US SOME FUCKING CHOCOLATE.
Fat people: fuck you. Stop simultaneously complaining about your weight while you scarf down another shitty burger at Wendy's. You know what you should do? EAT LESS FUCKING FOOD. MAYBE INCLUDE SOME VEGGIES. WORK OUT. Don't blame McDonalds and all the other fast food companies for your weight, IT'S YOUR GODDAMN FAULT. NOW FUCK OFF AND EAT SOME BROCCOLI FAT ASS.