My throat is raw. . .one scream that tore the world for me - so many followed….I feel my face, puffy and swollen with my tears as the thought rings thru my head yet again, alone…again I am alone. . . . He knew, planned to leave me alone. . . Married me, tried to give me a few moments of happiness and have a few last moments himself - but he knew ( Read more... )

I let out a yawn as I stretch lying in the bed. Turning on my side, I grab the pillow that he laid his head on, relishing in the fact that it still smelled of his scent. Erik finally came home. We spoke of him and of myself before alighting to the issue. Where did we stand? It seems that we both wanted more, and both afraid to express it. ( Read more... )

Too many things to go thru. Too many emotions. Where to start? Its been 5 yesrs now since my Ol'Pa died under that damn lift, number 3. The one on the end. I spent the weeks before alone, dressed in black, the anniversery itself alone in the garage. All out of respect. I miss the Old Man. Yet if not for his death, I might not be aware of ( Read more... )

No personal investments. He warned me before anything ever even started that he was looking for someone - someone that he loved. He warned me that it would primarily be a physical relationship. And I accepted it. What a furking fool I am - to think that I could live with that. The more time goes by, the more attached I find myself getting. It ( Read more... )