I am afraid.

[enriana]

I am afraid of books. I am afraid of movies. I am afraid of TV shows. I am afraid of stories.

When I was little, I was never afraid of these things. The books I read ended happily, the scary parts in the movies never lasted long, at the end of the show everything was okay again.

Comments

[harfang]

The desensitization of our culture has been a process. I don't think it's supposed to be about reality, though. I think a lot of it is schadenfreude, a lot is wanting escape in a fucked-up way. Most people's lives in this culture are stable and workaday. They want to be stirred out of that.

I'm sensitive in the extreme. I also have a fairly severe anxiety disorder that amplifies the sensitivity; but even now that I'm getting much more well, I can't be non-present, in the way that most people are by default. The phenomenon you describe is not mindful, or at all aware, of people like you and me. It's created itself to shake up people who don't feel enough, and yearn for meaning and grand truths and drama.

But I don't get it either, because that's already my life. I feel everything without any "help," thanks very much.

Please accept my commiseration. <3