Music
People say that our sense of smell is strongly linked with our memory. For me, it's not my sense of smell - it's my sense of hearing.
Specifically, music.
There are songs I just can no longer listen to, they invoke such a visceral reaction in me. All the Nirvana on my iPod had to go, because it was nearly the soundtrack for Woodstock. Sangria, by a band I can't even remember and am not going to Google because maybe it's better that I'm finally regretting, is also a no.
I can't listen to Fiona Apple's cover of Across the Universe, because of all the times I turned it on when I was feeling horrible. To me, it's the most depressing song there is.
Swing Life Away is the Wayfinder/summer song, and while I listened to it a few weeks ago without crumbling, it still makes me wince and hug myself close.
I barely listen to my iPod these days, because when I turn it on and put it on shuffle, I am assaulted by memories. It doesn't matter how much or how little I listened to a song; over half of my music library is linked in some way to a time in my life.
Maybe in the future this will be a good thing, but right now, the last thing I want is to think about the past. The past is over, and I'm glad the bad stuff is over and the good stuff is over whether I'm glad it's gone or not.
Right now, I just have to get used to silence.
Specifically, music.
There are songs I just can no longer listen to, they invoke such a visceral reaction in me. All the Nirvana on my iPod had to go, because it was nearly the soundtrack for Woodstock. Sangria, by a band I can't even remember and am not going to Google because maybe it's better that I'm finally regretting, is also a no.
I can't listen to Fiona Apple's cover of Across the Universe, because of all the times I turned it on when I was feeling horrible. To me, it's the most depressing song there is.
Swing Life Away is the Wayfinder/summer song, and while I listened to it a few weeks ago without crumbling, it still makes me wince and hug myself close.
I barely listen to my iPod these days, because when I turn it on and put it on shuffle, I am assaulted by memories. It doesn't matter how much or how little I listened to a song; over half of my music library is linked in some way to a time in my life.
Maybe in the future this will be a good thing, but right now, the last thing I want is to think about the past. The past is over, and I'm glad the bad stuff is over and the good stuff is over whether I'm glad it's gone or not.
Right now, I just have to get used to silence.