Private: A Friend Indeed
Date: 19 September 1999
Status: Private
Summary: Severus plans his strategy.
Completion: Complete
Severus sat by the fire with the book Remus had given him in his lap, but he had only read a few pages before he put it aside, his mind too tumultuous to concentrate on the complex text. Reaching for the cup on the tea table beside his chair, he took a sip of his tea and gazed into the fire, thinking over what had occurred between himself and Remus that afternoon.
Love. He was in love.
The problem he faced now was deciding what to do about it. He knew what he wanted to do, but kissing Remus senseless and then sweeping him off to bed wasn't the best idea. He paused, thinking about naked skin glowing golden in the firelight, of a husky voice crying out in pleasure, of being able to taste every inch of...
All right, it was the best idea, but it wasn't the wisest idea. Not if he wanted more than one night, which he did. No, for that, he would have to find some way of convincing Remus to see him as worth more than one night. He sighed quietly and put his cup aside.
Therein lay the problem. He was reasonably certain that Remus was attracted to him, but he had no idea what he could offer that Remus might want. He wasn't handsome. He wasn't a nice, friendly man who had any hope of charming Remus, and he knew Remus wasn't lonely or desperate; Remus could easily find someone who was handsome and charming and nice to be with, someone who hadn't spent twenty years hating him or cost him a job. Someone who was nothing like Severus. Remus had choices. Had plenty of options. There was absolutely no reason for him to choose Severus.
Really, the only thing of worth he could offer Remus was love. Perhaps it wouldn't be enough to make up for everything he lacked, but he would love Remus with fierce, unswerving devotion; Remus held his heart and always would. If he couldn't have Remus, then he would remain alone.
And that meant no more shagging, too. He'd enjoyed every one of his recent encounters, different as they all were. Each of his lovers had given him a chance to connect with people -- with the world -- in ways he hadn't expected, and if he was honest with himself, he felt far more fond of them than he'd expected in the aftermath of their respective flings. But as enjoyable as it had been, that time was over. He had only one goal now: to woo and win Remus Lupin.
He would start by getting Remus' attention. He might not be handsome, but perhaps he could work with some of his better features. Rising to his feet, he went to his bedroom, studying himself in the full length mirror. Tuesday night was karaoke night; perhaps he would perform and see if he could show Remus that he wasn't the same man who had blindly hated and lashed out at him. And if he could make Remus desire him in the process, so much the better.
Which meant he needed to go shopping. He didn't think his usual attire would succeed, and he had nothing suitable that would provoke the kind of reaction he hoped for. Leaning closer to the mirror, he tucked his hair back and regarded his bare ear, considering. Perhaps something more than new clothes was in order. Something different. Something that would surprise Remus and make him see Severus in a different light.
In the meantime, it wouldn't hurt to make a gesture or two in the name of their new-found friendship. Remus had given him a friendly gift, after all; he could do the same thing, and, if necessary, claim he was merely doing what any good friend would do for another good friend.
Oh, yes, he intended to be a good friend to Remus. A very good friend indeed.
Status: Private
Summary: Severus plans his strategy.
Completion: Complete
Severus sat by the fire with the book Remus had given him in his lap, but he had only read a few pages before he put it aside, his mind too tumultuous to concentrate on the complex text. Reaching for the cup on the tea table beside his chair, he took a sip of his tea and gazed into the fire, thinking over what had occurred between himself and Remus that afternoon.
Love. He was in love.
The problem he faced now was deciding what to do about it. He knew what he wanted to do, but kissing Remus senseless and then sweeping him off to bed wasn't the best idea. He paused, thinking about naked skin glowing golden in the firelight, of a husky voice crying out in pleasure, of being able to taste every inch of...
All right, it was the best idea, but it wasn't the wisest idea. Not if he wanted more than one night, which he did. No, for that, he would have to find some way of convincing Remus to see him as worth more than one night. He sighed quietly and put his cup aside.
Therein lay the problem. He was reasonably certain that Remus was attracted to him, but he had no idea what he could offer that Remus might want. He wasn't handsome. He wasn't a nice, friendly man who had any hope of charming Remus, and he knew Remus wasn't lonely or desperate; Remus could easily find someone who was handsome and charming and nice to be with, someone who hadn't spent twenty years hating him or cost him a job. Someone who was nothing like Severus. Remus had choices. Had plenty of options. There was absolutely no reason for him to choose Severus.
Really, the only thing of worth he could offer Remus was love. Perhaps it wouldn't be enough to make up for everything he lacked, but he would love Remus with fierce, unswerving devotion; Remus held his heart and always would. If he couldn't have Remus, then he would remain alone.
And that meant no more shagging, too. He'd enjoyed every one of his recent encounters, different as they all were. Each of his lovers had given him a chance to connect with people -- with the world -- in ways he hadn't expected, and if he was honest with himself, he felt far more fond of them than he'd expected in the aftermath of their respective flings. But as enjoyable as it had been, that time was over. He had only one goal now: to woo and win Remus Lupin.
He would start by getting Remus' attention. He might not be handsome, but perhaps he could work with some of his better features. Rising to his feet, he went to his bedroom, studying himself in the full length mirror. Tuesday night was karaoke night; perhaps he would perform and see if he could show Remus that he wasn't the same man who had blindly hated and lashed out at him. And if he could make Remus desire him in the process, so much the better.
Which meant he needed to go shopping. He didn't think his usual attire would succeed, and he had nothing suitable that would provoke the kind of reaction he hoped for. Leaning closer to the mirror, he tucked his hair back and regarded his bare ear, considering. Perhaps something more than new clothes was in order. Something different. Something that would surprise Remus and make him see Severus in a different light.
In the meantime, it wouldn't hurt to make a gesture or two in the name of their new-found friendship. Remus had given him a friendly gift, after all; he could do the same thing, and, if necessary, claim he was merely doing what any good friend would do for another good friend.
Oh, yes, he intended to be a good friend to Remus. A very good friend indeed.