I'm so glad it's Friday today.
So there was a trailer for Star Wars: The Force Awakens. I'm not really a huge Star Wars fan but everyone seems very happy. So I'm happy for you guys and your new Stars Wars movie.
Also, the Batman Vs Superman trailer teaser thingy appeared last night. And I just wanted to talk about DC movies for a bit before I head out.
I have nothing against DC. I'm enjoying the fuck out of Marvel, and they've earned enough loyalty from me that I'm down for pretty much anything they want to do at this point. But I have enough space in my life for awesome DC movies, I really do. I read the comics, I am effectively in their demographic whether they like it or not.
And I realise they want to strike an alternate tone to Marvel. They want a hook that differentiates their universe. A realistic tone that's all muted colours and serious faces and grown-up stuff. But someone really needs to tell them to maybe rein it back a little.
The new Batman Vs Superman movie seems to take place in an alternate universe where the sun has gone out, and it rains all the time, and colours have been outlawed by the government. Where Superman may possibly be hiding outside your window, waiting to kill you and/or kidnap you to join his cult. But it's ok because Batman is planning to cut him up and see how he works and...
Guys, this is really getting to be a problem guys.
Superman isn't supposed to be a tragic, sad little ball of self-loathing. I know you like the way you can slow motion his CG cape with sad music playing in the background to make him look dramatic and angsty but...guys, he's superman. You don't want to maybe...have him help some people or something? Superhero type stuff, maybe? Did Henry Cavill even get to smile in the first movie. I honestly can't remember. Does he know how after all that collateral damage from the first movie? Or is he still sad about his dad leaving them for a tornado? Also I have no idea how he even manages to get his powers in this alternate universe with no sunlight.
Or is that just Gotham City? Does Gotham City have no sunlight, is that why Batman is so angry all the time?
Batman...I actually kind of like the look/sound of Batman. I had doubts about Affleck but he actually looks kind of cool. Not surprising really since DC likes Batman, they really like Batman. Understandable, Batman is great. Dark works for Batman. But not everything has to be Batman. A superhero team composed entirely of Batmans is basically still Batman. DC, you're still making a Batman movie.
I'm trying to work out how everyone else will even fit in this universe. This terrible dystopian future, full of grit and rain and a miasma of despair, where fun is a foreign concept. How the hell are you planning to put in Flash and Aquaman and Wonder Woman and Hawk Girl, and Green Lantern? Batman movies for everyone, right? RIGHT? (Though I'm wondering whether they're going to pretend Green Lantern doesn't exist after his movie tanked, which is a shame. I like the green space police.) And, well, fuck J'onn J'onzz because he's too weird and alien. People can't connect to aliens who are green, right? Like, that would ever happen!!!
*sighs*
I have nothing against dark, gritty, bleak movies, I love that style when it's done really well, and it suits the subject matter. It can be beautiful and painful and excellent.
But if DC heroes are never allowed to be fun, ever, then in a roundabout sort of way that ensures that a lot of people who go to the movies to have fun - are not going to have fun. You want kids to grow up having loved these movies too. You're not just making them for adults. For depressed, grim adults who don't want to feel the sun on their face, or human companionship, or love -
I know your movie is probably going to make a billion dollars on hype alone, and it might not even be a bad movie. I'm judging you on a teaser. But your movies at the moment are in danger of becoming a universe of depressing dystopias. No joy, no hope, no fun.
Superheroes, guys.
Superheroes.
Also, the Batman Vs Superman trailer teaser thingy appeared last night. And I just wanted to talk about DC movies for a bit before I head out.
I have nothing against DC. I'm enjoying the fuck out of Marvel, and they've earned enough loyalty from me that I'm down for pretty much anything they want to do at this point. But I have enough space in my life for awesome DC movies, I really do. I read the comics, I am effectively in their demographic whether they like it or not.
And I realise they want to strike an alternate tone to Marvel. They want a hook that differentiates their universe. A realistic tone that's all muted colours and serious faces and grown-up stuff. But someone really needs to tell them to maybe rein it back a little.
The new Batman Vs Superman movie seems to take place in an alternate universe where the sun has gone out, and it rains all the time, and colours have been outlawed by the government. Where Superman may possibly be hiding outside your window, waiting to kill you and/or kidnap you to join his cult. But it's ok because Batman is planning to cut him up and see how he works and...
Guys, this is really getting to be a problem guys.
Superman isn't supposed to be a tragic, sad little ball of self-loathing. I know you like the way you can slow motion his CG cape with sad music playing in the background to make him look dramatic and angsty but...guys, he's superman. You don't want to maybe...have him help some people or something? Superhero type stuff, maybe? Did Henry Cavill even get to smile in the first movie. I honestly can't remember. Does he know how after all that collateral damage from the first movie? Or is he still sad about his dad leaving them for a tornado? Also I have no idea how he even manages to get his powers in this alternate universe with no sunlight.
Or is that just Gotham City? Does Gotham City have no sunlight, is that why Batman is so angry all the time?
Batman...I actually kind of like the look/sound of Batman. I had doubts about Affleck but he actually looks kind of cool. Not surprising really since DC likes Batman, they really like Batman. Understandable, Batman is great. Dark works for Batman. But not everything has to be Batman. A superhero team composed entirely of Batmans is basically still Batman. DC, you're still making a Batman movie.
I'm trying to work out how everyone else will even fit in this universe. This terrible dystopian future, full of grit and rain and a miasma of despair, where fun is a foreign concept. How the hell are you planning to put in Flash and Aquaman and Wonder Woman and Hawk Girl, and Green Lantern? Batman movies for everyone, right? RIGHT? (Though I'm wondering whether they're going to pretend Green Lantern doesn't exist after his movie tanked, which is a shame. I like the green space police.) And, well, fuck J'onn J'onzz because he's too weird and alien. People can't connect to aliens who are green, right? Like, that would ever happen!!!
*sighs*
I have nothing against dark, gritty, bleak movies, I love that style when it's done really well, and it suits the subject matter. It can be beautiful and painful and excellent.
But if DC heroes are never allowed to be fun, ever, then in a roundabout sort of way that ensures that a lot of people who go to the movies to have fun - are not going to have fun. You want kids to grow up having loved these movies too. You're not just making them for adults. For depressed, grim adults who don't want to feel the sun on their face, or human companionship, or love -
I know your movie is probably going to make a billion dollars on hype alone, and it might not even be a bad movie. I'm judging you on a teaser. But your movies at the moment are in danger of becoming a universe of depressing dystopias. No joy, no hope, no fun.
Superheroes, guys.
Superheroes.