Feel the Magic Rise

[urnewkingbitch]

Who: Dave Strider, Bro Strider, John Egbert, Santana Lopez, Dean Winchester, Puck, maybe a wild Baby Penguin Kurt Hummel
Where: Tearoom
When: Tuesday, October 25th
Rating: T for sexual explanations and language
Summary: Sex Education 101 is now beginning!
The Story:

Comments

[hamburellakind]

John knows he should ask something. It's an opportunity he might not get again.

But it's the girl he wants to touch and stuff and he is pretty sure she's wearing these clothes just to get a rise out of someone and God he does not want anything to rise right now.

So, in his panic, he blurts out the first thing he can think of:

"Do you like touching your own boobs?"

Fucking fuck what.

[hamburellakind]

Well, yes, he has others. But frankly they all make him wonder if he'd rather not know. Like, periods? Won't that just make him not want to have sex with a girl ever?

But...maybe they're all right. He's a teenager and he's kind of purposefully avoided this kind of stuff, instead of focusing on shitty (yes, shitty, he said it!) movies and totally awesome world-saving video games. He's gonna have to cut the rap and grow up eventually...

"...Why do girls have periods and guys don't? They, uh. Didn't let us in the girl's room..."

[itsahotone]

"Because God hates us." That's pretty much the best answer there is, but fine, she'll elaborate a little. With a heavy sigh. "Because guys can't get pregnant. If you want, I'll get you a diagram of the female body so you can learn all about the tubes and things, cause it's all pretty boring and scientific.

Basically it's the pregnant thing. Once we get it, it's some lame sign of adulthood and how we can bear children or whatever."

[hamburellakind]

"...So bleeding for a week means you're healthy?"

See why this is so hard for him to get? Geez, people, make sense already!

[itsahotone]

Here, John. Have another shrug.

"More or less. It really just means you're able to have kids."

There's a pause, then she remembers something. "And speaking of having kids, let me just give you a heads-up right now: You can not get a girl pregnant by making out in a hot tub and jizzing your swim trunks."

She glances knowingly at Puck.

[hamburellakind]

John doesn't glance knowingly at anyone because what the hell?

"When would that come up? I mean, who...touches themselves in a hot tub?"

This is clearly the only problem with this situation and nobody will argue otherwise. Except maybe Santana since she knows more about this. Crap.

[itsahotone]

Santana's smile is almost...amused-pitying.

"Honey. I don't know if you've noticed, but some guys get turned on kinda easily. And some guys don't have a lot of stamina, even if they don't touch themselves."

[hamburellakind]

John has not noticed any of this. Because he's never had sex with a boy!

But that might explain some...things.

"Oh. So. Oh."

Not that he'll say these things out loud. But at least he has an idea of why he's woken up a couple times with his sheets needing a good wash. Or, well. He just throws them in the closet and gets more, but the point is he knows that the hand is not necessary for certain things to happen now.

[itsahotone]

Silly John. The 'noticed' line was a little dig at the Pool Incident of yore. But that's okay; she picks up on his expression anyway.

"No more questions?"

[hamburellakind]

...No, there's probably more. But if he sticks around talking to Santana about them for much longer he might have some issues and, well, now that he knows hands don't need to be involved for things to get messy, welp. Time to lie!

"I think I'm good for now. Um. Thanks. Sorry for...being dumb, I guess."

[itsahotone]

Yet another shrug.

"No big. Education and all that."

And with that, it's on to the next teacher and/or student!