it's something they call love
It’s hard. It’s hard because everyone cares about HunHan. It’s always been like this, even before debut. Se Hun and Lu Han, the perfect couple. The tragic Romeo and Juliet couple. The fans love them, love the fact that one’s in China while the other is in Korea. Loves the fact that they pine for each other, yearn, want, whatever words they can find.
It’s hard because Yi Xing has the exact same relationship with Joonmyun, but no one even fucking cares. It’s hard because he loves Joonmyun, and Joonmyun loves him, but they can’t be together because he is Lay and Joonmyun is Su Ho. They live in two different worlds, so near yet so far. They stand on the same ground but see different skies, they see the same sky but stand on different grounds; they resemble Se Hun and Lu Han so much but they aren’t them and never will be. They are different, and Yi Xing detests that sometimes. Detests it with a hidden fury, because it just isn’t fair. It isn’t fair that Se Hun and Lu Han are in love, and they are accepted and even adored, while Yi Xing and Joonmyun lay in their shadows. Yi Xing wants to show the world his own love story, because this is important to him. Joonmyun is important to him, but no one cares. He can scream all he wants, but no one will ever care.
Except Joonmyun. Joonmyun cares. Joonmyun is there for Yi Xing when the world is crashing down on him, when the stress is too much. He’s the one who makes the first move. He’s the one who makes the first call, right when Yi Xing’s hesitant hand is hovering over the phone keys. He’s the one who soothes Yi Xing, telling him that yes, it’s okay to cry. He’s the one that Yi Xing trusts, that Yi Xing needs, that Yi Xing wants to stay by his side for the rest of their lives. Yi Xing is dependent on Joonmyun, and that frightens him sometimes, but what he doesn’t know- or maybe he does- is that Joonmyun is just as dependent, even if it doesn’t show. It’s something they call love, even if it’s not the same as Se Hun and Lu Han.
Yi Xing and Joonmyun will never be the same as HunHan. They will never be the couple that shows skinship in public, that will declare their love proudly and loudly, that will show the world what they’re made of. Yi Xing and Joonmyun don’t need that type of relationship. Maybe Yi Xing did, once upon a time, but when he sees Joonmyun coming towards him in the dorm after returning from the airport, when he sees the sweet smile coming from the man, when he sees the pure love radiating from his eyes, Yi Xing knows he can’t wish for anything better than this.