butterflies and the meaning behind it
it started out with a kiss, and it went a little something like this-
se hun presses lu han against a wall, lips locking in a sweet embrace. he wants to be gentle, wants to express his true feelings in this one kiss.
“hyung, i like you,” se hun confesses when they break for air. “i really like you.”
lu han tangles their fingers together, looking up at the younger. there’s a small smile on his face. “i like you too.” se hun leans down again, pressing another kiss onto lu han.
you are the one for me, boy.
their relationship begins there. when se hun looks at lu han, he doesn’t only see a beautiful chinese boy. he doesn’t only see an intelligent equal. when se hun looks at lu han, he sees the one. the one who he’ll love more than anyone else, the one who he’ll love again and again until there’s no time left in the world for them to love.
and when lu han looks at se hun? he sees unwavering and sincere feelings.
next thing came my stuff, but one drawer wasn’t enough.
there isn’t a happier moment in se hun’s life when lu han finally agrees to move in together. it starts out slow, the progress of rare sleepovers beginning to frequent until bits and pieces of lu han’s wardrobe slowly begin forming a pile at the bottom of se hun’s drawers. at the frustration and nudging from the younger, he decides to just move all his stuff over. now when se hun wakes up, he can’t tell if those are lu han’s jeans or his, but he pulls them on happily anyway.
(turns out they’re lu han’s, but the older doesn’t mind.)
my favourite thing to do is spend my time with you.
se hun is a dancer, and lu han is a singer. they both have individual lives with their different hobbies, yet se hun finds that his favourite moment during the day is being lulled to sleep by lu han’s soft voice singing a chinese song that he can’t understand. as much as he enjoys the rush of adrenaline running through his body as he grooves to the beat, se hun must admit that being alone with lu han is much better.
you give me butterflies from my head to my feet and-
when lu han peers up with him with that little smile playing on his lips, se hun can feel the butterflies in his stomach start flying throughout his entire body. they’re like buffaloes stampeding in his heart, loud and clear. he wonders if lu han can hear, hear what he does to se hun. the whole world probably can.
but the truth is sometimes, you make me so angry that my heart hits the ground.
se hun hates the way lu han is so affectionate with everyone. it makes him feel low, lesser, because isn’t he lu han’s boyfriend? isn’t he the only one lu han’s is supposed to touch? there’s an ugly feeling curling in the pit of his belly whenever he sees lu han reach over to steal something from jongin, or coo at minseok’s chubby cheeks, or lean on yi xing for support, or-
there’s too many situations where lu han isn’t standing by se hun’s side. the worst thing is that the older probably doesn’t even realize what he’s doing. he doesn’t even realize that se hun’s jealous.
“okay, so i’m going to go head out with yi xing tonight,” lu han says, grabbing his wallet from the counter.
“hyung.” se hun’s hand clutches at the bottom of lu han’s shirt. “don’t go.”
“don’t be childish,” lu han frowns.
“childish?” se hun repeats, voice raising. “you think i’m being childish? when’s the last time you and i went out? you’re my boyfriend!”
“well, what do you want me to do? yi xing’s my best friend, i can’t just cancel on him,” lu han sighs, plopping himself onto their couch.
“tell him you’re busy,” se hun shrugs, taking lu han’s hands.
“doing what?” lu han asks, feeling skeptical as se hun sits beside him. that suspicion rises as the younger pushes him further into the cushioning of their couch.
“me.”
hold me tight and tell me that you love me.
se hun is lying in a hospital bed, leg propped up. he sighs, staring at the bright white cast. it’s going to take a while to heal, time he should have been spending on dance practice. he shifts the blankets, tugging them off his body. it’s too hot in this room. they knock over a basket at the foot of his bed, spilling the fruits onto the floor. se hun winces. he hopes someone will come in soon to clean that, he doesn’t want anyone slipping. as if fate calls for it, the door opens right at that moment.
but it’s not a nurse.
“oh se hun, you fucking idiot!” lu han cries, fists punching into the injured man’s chest. his eyes are rimmed with red and already puffy, indicating a long fitful of tears on the way here.
“ow, hyung,” se hun pouts, “that hurts.”
“it better!” lu han says, poking him extra hard. “what were you thinking? jumping into all that traffic? you could’ve died!”
“if i didn’t, those kids could have died,” se hun whispers quietly, pulling lu han onto the bed. the older curls up to him almost instinctively.
“when the nurse called saying you were at the hospital,” lu han says, breaths coming in shorter, “i was so scared. so fucking scared, se hun. i thought i lost you.” he shakes against se hun’s chest, tears streaming down his small face.
“it’s going to take a lot more than a car to tear me away from you,” se hun laughs, trying to loosen the tension. when lu han only grips him tighter, he settles for holding the older even closer to him. “i’m alive, hyung. i have a broken leg and possibly bruises because of you, but i’m alive.”
“i love you,” lu han says, voice muffled against the fabric of se hun’s shirt.
“i love you too,” se hun replies, placing a soft kiss in his lover’s hair.
i knew from day one that you were something (special).
lu han literally crash lands into se hun’s life. the chinese man is up in a tree trying to save a kitten, cliché but he couldn’t resist the cute little puffs of white fur coming from it. he’s nearly there, hand outstretched when he loses his balance.
luckily for him, there’s a nice person who was just unfortunately standing under the said tree. that person is se hun.
one year later (and six months into their relationship), the two of them are reminiscing about their first enclosure.
“did it hurt?” se hun asks, tracing the vein on the inside of lu han’s wrist with his lips.
“falling from that tree? yes, but it could’ve been worse,” lu han says.
“no,” se hun shakes his head, “i meant, falling from heaven. did it hurt when you fell from heaven?”
lu han laughs, slightly ticklish from the feeling of se hun’s mouth and the absurd sentence coming from it. “i’m not an angel, se hun.”
“you are to me, hyung, you are to me,” se hun says, moving his lips from lu han’s wrist to his mouth. “will you marry me?”
tears prick at the back of lu han’s eyes as he replies, “yes.”
lu han might not be a real life angel, but he looks absolutely ethereal on their wedding day. se hun was happy when lu han moved in with him, but when lu han marries him there’s isn’t a star in the sky that shines brighter than se hun.
~~~
http://gingin166.wordpress.com/2012/09/02/transfic-hunhanoneshot-butterflies-and-the-meaning-behind-it/ <= Vietnamese translation by Gin Chan.