bright lights, pretty lights
it is august 28th. the warm waves of summer heat are finally beginning to die down as the world prepares for autumn. jongin sits, staring mindlessly into the city as cars buzz past him, everyone moving with their own lives - he’s been here since noon, and the breeze is beginning to bite against the flesh of his cheeks. tucking his jacket closer to himself, he blows gently on his fingers, trying to breathe a little bit more life into them. the bench creaks under his weight as he shifts his body.
a siren wails, red lights flashing straight into the pits of jongin’s eyes. an ambulance whizzes by, freezing traffic for that one moment before time begins again, and the sound hits jongin right there - right in the core of his heart. it thumps wildly in his chest.
“don’t you think it’s pretty?” kyungsoo asks, pointing to the bright bulbs attached to the outer edges of the ferris wheel. “i mean, against the night sky.”
looks tacky to me, jongin wants to say, but he smiles at kyungsoo and nods. “yeah, sure, but you’re also pretty.”
the light flush of pink against the other’s face is a reward in itself. “don’t be silly,” kyungsoo says, brushing past jongin, hand placed over his face in embarrassment. jongin laughs, nice and easy.
“mister, are you okay?” jongin shifts to the side. there’s a child sitting beside him - a little girl - who’s peering up at him with the eyes of chocolate brown.
“don’t you think it’s pretty?” jongin says quietly, leaning farther back into the bench.
“what’s pretty?” the girl asks.
“that.” he points to the gargantuan wheel turning deceivingly harmlessly in its stand.
“the ferris wheel? mama said she’d take me on that when i’m bigger,” she states proudly, a missing gap in her front teeth appearing as she smiles wide.
“well, you are a tiny thing,” jongin jokingly says. the child makes a face at him. it seems very befitting of her.
“mama didn’t want me to go on at first, but then my older sister did and she finally promised i could go,” she continues.
“oh? and why is that?”
“can i tell you something?” she whispers, leaning in tentatively. “you have to promise not to tell anyone else though.”
“sure.”
“pinky promise?”
he links their fingers together, her tiny one barely curling around the cool texture of his.
“my mama told me that a long time ago, before i was before, that bad things used to happen around this place,” the child says, looking around nervously as if she had just taken the last cookie from the jar.
“bad things,” jongin echoes.
“help! someone, oh gosh, please. save him.”
“you see those carts right there?” jongin nods. “my mama told me that they don’t always bolt the doors properly. she said that if i was to ever ride one, i should always check that they are properly closed. she told me that someone fell once. isn’t it sad? i feel bad for that person.”
his hands are covered in red. “you’ll be okay,” he coos sweetly. his voice breaking “please. please, be okay.”
“do you think the person’s okay?” the child asks, her brown eyes darkening. “it was a long time ago, so he should be better now, right?”
“hey, don’t look so sad,” jongin smiles, a little too wide. “i’m sure whoever that person was wouldn’t want you to cry.”
“don’t cry,” jongin rasps out, coughing out blood as he struggles to get air into his lungs.
“the paramedics are here,” kyungsoo says, fingers clenched so tightly around jongin’s that they’re white. “you’ll be okay.” he plants soft kisses all over jongin’s face, dampening his shirt with his tears as well.
“be happy,” jongin says, staring past kyungsoo at the blanket of darkness in the sky. the stars suddenly seem so much brighter. so much more alive. “when i’m gone, be happy.”
“what?”
“it’s only a matter of moments,” jongin says, slipping a glance to the paramedic hovering over him, shaking his head. “i’m sorry.”
“what are you sorry for, you silly goose? you’re going to be fine. promise me you’ll be fine.”
“not this time,” jongin laughs, but it’s no longer so nice. it hurts, right there in his chest, as if sharp glass is pinching his ribs. “i’m sorry i couldn’t fulfill all the wishes you made. i’m sorry we couldn’t live in that little small house down the street from your grandmother’s place. i’m sorry we couldn’t finish that cooking course you signed us up for. i’m even sorry that i didn’t make the bed before we left the house. i’m sorry.”
“my only wish right now is for you to live,” kyungsoo whispers.
“i’m sorry i can’t even keep that.” the sky opens, little tear droplets falling on to jongin’s face, even as his eyes glass over and the pulse in his wrist dwindles down.
“there you are, soojung! mom’s been looking for you.” another girl rushes over, breathing slightly heavily, and grabs her hand.
“i was just talking to-” soojung cuts off, turning around. “oh, he left.”
“stupid!” her sister smacks soojung with the back of her palm. “don’t talk to strangers.” the two of them walk away, backs turned to where jongin is watching from. he smiles. he knows they’ll be fine wherever they go, as long as they have each other.
it is august 28th. the warm waves of summer heat are finally beginning to die down as the world prepares for autumn. kyungsoo shivers as he tugs the sleeves of his sweater a little lower on his arms. the plastic wrapping of the bouquet he’s holding rustles loudly as he places it gently to the floor, and kyungsoo runs a hand gently against the headstone. the sunlight covers the rock, a similar shade to the bronze hue of jongin’s eyes. if kyungsoo listens carefully, it’s almost as if he can hear jongin laughter in the winds, nice and easy.
~~~
I would like to thank swabluu for helping as a beta.