Comments | eoma_p: The Tyranny of "I Should..."

eoma_p

The Tyranny of "I Should..."

Jul 06, 2012 16:15

The voice in my head has a long list of things I "should" do, things I "ought" to be doing. I should weigh what I did in high school; I should exercise every day; I should never get angry; I should be a perfect parent; I should keep my house perfectly clean; I should keep all my papers, books, projects, supplies and other "stuff" perfectly ( Read more... )

children, thought processes, change, year of transformation, philosophy, goals, life change

Comments 6

onyxtwilight July 7 2012, 14:23:45 UTC

I should weigh what I did in high school

Okay, the others I at least understand. How the hell did THAT one get into the list? High school was more than half your life ago. Whatever you did or did not do then, let it go. Move on. :-)

And buy that voice in your head some sort of mental prostitute (or masseur or video game or whatever) to distract it for a while. Or maybe a ball gag. Anything to shut it up for a while. >:-)

Your kids are awesome. Therefore, you are awesome. (Not the only reason, I'm just confirming your hypothesis: you are a good parent. So your stupid voice can shut the hell up about that category, anyway.)

But... eoma_p July 7 2012, 22:57:27 UTC

that's the truest one on the list! I wasn't slim in high school.

I carry fat well, because people are often surprised that I'm unquestionably obese and probably morbidly obese. I'd be thrilled to weigh 10 or 15 pounds more than I weighed when I graduated from high school, but would still be overweight.

I love the idea of a mental prostitute. Until I figure out what's involved in that, I'll probably keep posting things like this that upset you and leave me feeling better. Thank you for listening, and chewing me out as needed.

Re: But... onyxtwilight July 8 2012, 06:08:55 UTC

Okay, I now understand why I was confused. I read "I should weigh what I did in high school" not as "I should weigh as much as I weighed in high school," but rather "I should seriously consider the things I did while in high school," which is clearly not what you meant. What can I say, it was late. Or was it? I don't remember, it's been a long day.

Nevertheless, I stand by the mental prostitute thing. Post whatever you like, it's your journal. But if you allow comments, you might get some. ;-)

*hug*

Re: But... eoma_p July 10 2012, 00:30:08 UTC

and *hug* back! I enjoy the comments.

Maybe I should... zig81 July 7 2012, 15:04:53 UTC

post a comment of encouragement and understanding (but I'm not good at expressing it)
write an email to let you know that I'm often in the same boat. (but I can't really know what you're feeling and who am I to even think that I'm close to understanding...)
berate you for not forgiving yourself your flaws. (Yeah, like I'm one to talk.)
remind you how being human works. (Wow, I have lots of compassion)
point you to some studies of...(I should look up some terms to google.)
compare your parenting to how I was raised and I turned out okay. (Maybe I shouldn't go there.)
tell you how envious of your life I am. (Except I never wanted kids or to marry Ed ;).)
let it go because you know all this. (And I know that you do.)
tell you I love you. (Despite your flaws.)

Re: Maybe I should... eoma_p July 7 2012, 23:00:03 UTC

And your love matters. A lot. Thank you for listening (or reading) my rants. Thank you for saying all you say, however indirectly.