hey all haven't updated in awhile..nothing much to say..i fucked everything up yet again..i miss all of you guys haven't talked to anyone in awhile....uhhh..i think this is my last update on LJ.....it doesn't need me anymore...then again..noone needs me right now so why would a stupid website need me to update.....anyway....i'll miss you guys and i ( Read more... )

hey all....i figure you all know derek and i broke up by now.....if not well now ya do.....uhh...i'm happy in my current situation...i'm not going to lie and say that i'm not but it also bothers me to see derek hurt..i know you probably don't believe that but it's true......i figure alot of you guys don't know the whole story and probably don't ( Read more... )

i'm freaking tired of all the B.S. I'm sick and tired of being used. i'm tired of caring for people and not having them care about me. i'm tired of loving people and not being loved in return . i'm tired of wanting to let go, but still holding on. i'm tired of always trying to forget yet always remembering....tired of cutting myself yet not able to ( Read more... )

Devil by Staind
She sits alone again
And tries her best not to pretend
That all she used to live for
Was the love that wasn't there

And every time she needs to do things
That she believes
Will fill the void inside of her
Because he was never there

[2x]
She says, 'I swear I'm not the devil,
Though you think I am.
I swear I'm not the devil'

He tries ( Read more... )

why is it that when i finally figure everything out or at least think i have it figured out...something has to come along and screw it all up....arggggggggghhhhhhhhh..........

 Animals
I, I’m driving black on black
Just got my license back
I got this feeling in my veins this train is coming off the track
I’ll ask polite if the devil needs a ride
Because the angel on my right ain’t hanging out with me tonight
I’m driving past your house while you were sneaking out
I got the car door opened up so you can jump in on the run
Your ( Read more... )

so yeah i haven't really updated in a awhile and the urge suddenly struck me so yeah...UPDATEY GOODNESS...i've been writing alot lately....decided to post my latest that i wrote during math class today...tell me what ya'll think.....

Fairy Tale
feeling random things
emotions going crazy
not knowing if you'll drown me yet hoping you will save me
wanting ( Read more... )

( Read more... )

depression fucking sucks.....i'm such a screw up...i prolly gonna fail all of my classes this quarter and get kicked out of college...i see mom liking that one.....i hardly have friends anymore and those that i do have, i'm hanging on to for dear life....god sometimes i wish i could just die ...argh....bye

I'm getting sick.....*GRRRRRRR*..my throat hurts and i have a random cough....it sucks. I want to apologize ahead of time,Derek, as you'll prolly be sick again after this weekend. I'll try not to infect you with my sicklyness..although that may be a problem when drunk and horny....*sigh*...oh well it'll be ok. I'm soooooooo ready for the party this ( Read more... )