some of this is just incredible. shiver-inducing. there are a couple things i'd strike - a few things give an unnecessary air of pretense.
'i wish, even tonight, to have you' stands out like a sore thumb. i think it's the middle part. but the statement itself is important. maybe it's the commas.
something else. oh. ne'er. i don't like ne'er. that stanza is beautiful until ne'er.
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there are a couple things i'd strike - a few things give an unnecessary air of pretense.
'i wish, even tonight, to have you' stands out like a sore thumb. i think it's the middle part. but the statement itself is important. maybe it's the commas.
something else. oh. ne'er. i don't like ne'er. that stanza is beautiful until ne'er.
but, daamn, sarah.
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