In which Wade is not a lovesick teenage girl
Pairing: Captain America/Deadpool
Theme set alpha for 1sentence
Rating: PG-13 for mentions of sex and sex accouterments, and the occasional blood or brain matter and all that implies.
Warnings: Descriptions of self-injurious behavior.
AN: I'm playing fast and loose with canon and time period, here. But this is a crack pairing, albeit a beautiful one, so I don't think that matters too much.
1. comfort
When people were insensitive about the few things that really bothered Wade-and they too often were-Steve kept his peace, but did his best to make sure Wade knew just how wanted he was.
2. kiss
"Not in public," huffed Deadpool, "I mean, just think what that would do to my reputation!"
3. soft
"You're more important to me than public opinion," Captain America said softly, because it was clear what Wade was really thinking.
4. pain
Wade knew it wouldn't be more than a week or two before they kicked him out of the Mansion, but who wasn't a sucker for pretty blondes?
5. potatoes
Steve quickly learned it wasn't worth the confusion to ask about some of the stranger things that left his new lover's mouth, such as, "Potatoes? I bet you could work at least fifteen different sex acts into that prompt."
6. rain
It was raining the first time they kissed, which might have been romantic if they hadn't been hearing it from inside a cold, cabin bathroom.
7. chocolate
Deadpool burst into the Avengers' meeting, brandishing a red, heart-shaped box: "Be my Valentine, Cap?"
8. happiness
While most of the Avengers glared at him, Steve was trying very, very hard not to grin.
9. telephone
"Weas, say, hypothetically, you were buying candy for Captain America-the Captain America-what would you get for him?"
10. ears
The first time they made too much noise, Wade was more embarrassed than Steve, and more ashamed than embarrassed: he was sure the Avengers would have preferred to believe Captain America was still going on dates with pretty girls.
11. name
When Clint said, "Why are we letting Deadpool stay here, again?" Steve simply corrected him: "His name is Wade."
12. sensual
Still close after the kiss, Steve stroked his thumb over Wade's exposed cheek and murmured, "We should probably get back to camp."
13. death
"Don't worry," Deadpool said, drawing his katanas and flashing Steve a grin, "Marvel won't kill either of us off; not permanently."
14. sex
When he made a (very self-censored) innuendo about sex with Steve, and Jessica laughed while Peter stared at him like he was crazy (that happened a lot), Wade realized that the Avengers somehow didn't know that he and Captain America were sharing a bed.
15. touch
Blind Al stroked an invisible beard, musing, "I always suspected I wasn't really his type."
16. weakness
"Al, I need your help-I beg you, I implore you, I will get down on my knees" (and he did) "-tell me everything you know about Steve Rogers's body."
17. tears
Wade said, "'Cause I'm happy," then buried his face in a pillow as his yellow boxes wondered why they were acting like a little girl.
18. speed
The bases were always confusing to Wade, and they were more confusing now that he was with a man, but he did know that it was taking far too long to get to the base where they took off their pants.
19. wind
Steve hadn't figured out that when Wade went AWOL, he was probably just lurking (not moping!) on the roof of the Mansion; Spiderman, of course, discovered his hide-out right away.
20. freedom
After he had been living in the Mansion for two weeks, Wade went to breakfast wearing nothing but his mask and katanas.
21. life
"Told you I can't die," Wade said, brushing what may or may not have been brain matter from Steve's extremely pale brow.
22. jealousy
Steve spent an inordinate amount of time glowering the weekend Siryn dropped in to visit.
23. hands
As Steve dozed beside him, Wade explored the pads and creases of the man's hands, amazed he was allowed to do even that.
24. taste
He plopped down next to Peter and said, "You know what tastes even better than ice cream? Captain America."
25. devotion
Wade had decided to play a little game called, "How many lewd and incredibly obvious hints can I make before the Avengers figure out I'm screwing Cap?"
26. forever
[We're going to live forever, and he won't.]
27. blood
Something about Captain America made Wade's heart race and his babbling more incoherent, and he felt uncomfortably like a dorky teenager.
28. sickness
Steve worried every time he tasted iron in his lover's mouth.
29. melody
Random was normal for Wade, but even Weasel got suspicious after he'd been humming the U.S. national anthem for a week straight.
30. star
As night fell, Wade was hyperaware of both Steve, who appeared to be stargazing, and Logan, because if anyone knew exactly what they'd been up to in that bathroom, it'd be Wolverine.
31. home
Wade had his own room in the mansion, and although he hardly (if ever) slept in it, it was a great place to keep his stuff.
32. confusion
When Steve had introduced Deadpool to the Avengers, he'd said, "This is Wade Wilson; he's going to be staying with me," so he was understandably baffled when his teammates' doubts about the man came up all over again.
33. fear
As they walked back to camp, Wade's stomach knotted up and he fell behind, musing that the distrust and loathing would probably be aimed directly at him once they knew; but he was just as afraid that they never would.
34. lightning/thunder
Spiderman tapped on his window, wildly illuminated by the flashes in the sky, and rain blew in as Steve opened it to hear: "Uh, Cap? I think Deadp- I mean, Wade, is getting dangerously friendly with the lightning rod on the roof..."
35. bonds
Wade almost laughs when Steve stills and whispers, low, in his ear, "Tie me up?"
36. market
"Hey Pete, you're on a condom run too, huh?"
37. technology
Although they will undoubtedly have fun with them, the main reason Wade buys anal beads for Steve is to see him blush again.
38. gift
When Wade shreds the wrapping off Steve's gift to him and finds a Golden Girls box set, he's speechless-not because this is an awesome present, which it is, or even because Steve had to have figured out how to buy this online-but because this means the man has actually been listening when he rambles.
39. smile
The first time Steve smiles at Wade [That's a "Good teamwork, team," smile, not a "I want to make sweet love to you" smile], Wade knows it can't mean much [Just checking] but his heart still tries to burst out of his chest [The metaphor is much less painful than the real thing].
40. innocence
Of course Wade had no idea that Captain America would be totally chivalrous and rescue Black Widow from having to sit in his lap.
41. completion
Wade's new game was all over when Steve entered the kitchen on the tail end of a particularly crude comment, and the beginning of Clint trying to shut him up and defend their leader; Cap proceeded to tell Clint that he should keep his opinions of Cap's private life to himself, and Clint nearly choked on his tongue.
42. clouds
There were a few (acceptable) drawbacks to dating Captain America-for instance, when Storm stopped by the Mansion on business, he couldn't hit on her.
43. sky
He lay awake under the funny-edged oblong of sky, wishing it wouldn't be completely disruptive to the mission to go shoot things in the woods, and scowling as his yellow boxes called him a lovesick little girl.
44. heaven
Steve broke their kiss, which took some effort considering Wade's hungry enthusiasm, and said, "Would you consider moving into the Mansion?"
45. hell
Wade had a hell of a time learning to censor himself, but he quickly learned that he couldn't say lewd things with both Cap and other Avengers in the room (either in the absense of the other was fine), and shouldn't talk about his trade with Steve in earshot.
46. sun
[You want him to ride you off into the sunset] "Ride me, maybe-wait."
47. moon
The only problem with having Captain America's very American ass in his face as the man maneuvered out of the car was pretending he didn't like it, and he was pretty sure Black Widow noticed the leer-shaped wrinkles in his mask, which she indicated by glowering even harder at him.
48. waves
Captain America wakes up extremely early, and Deadpool learns this in the morning because he's still lying awake; he gives Cap a shy little wave, while his yellow boxes tell him that he needs to stop acting like a teenage girl if he ever wants to get laid.
49. hair
Steve's hair and everything else was soaked by the time he reached Wade, who kept one hand stubbornly against the thin metal pole and whined, "Maybe I just wanted to know what it feels like."
50. supernova
In a very private moment of desperation, Steve began singing that one Duran Duran song he knew Wade really, really hated, until Wade abandoned the lightning rod to flee inside.
Theme set alpha for 1sentence
Rating: PG-13 for mentions of sex and sex accouterments, and the occasional blood or brain matter and all that implies.
Warnings: Descriptions of self-injurious behavior.
AN: I'm playing fast and loose with canon and time period, here. But this is a crack pairing, albeit a beautiful one, so I don't think that matters too much.
1. comfort
When people were insensitive about the few things that really bothered Wade-and they too often were-Steve kept his peace, but did his best to make sure Wade knew just how wanted he was.
2. kiss
"Not in public," huffed Deadpool, "I mean, just think what that would do to my reputation!"
3. soft
"You're more important to me than public opinion," Captain America said softly, because it was clear what Wade was really thinking.
4. pain
Wade knew it wouldn't be more than a week or two before they kicked him out of the Mansion, but who wasn't a sucker for pretty blondes?
5. potatoes
Steve quickly learned it wasn't worth the confusion to ask about some of the stranger things that left his new lover's mouth, such as, "Potatoes? I bet you could work at least fifteen different sex acts into that prompt."
6. rain
It was raining the first time they kissed, which might have been romantic if they hadn't been hearing it from inside a cold, cabin bathroom.
7. chocolate
Deadpool burst into the Avengers' meeting, brandishing a red, heart-shaped box: "Be my Valentine, Cap?"
8. happiness
While most of the Avengers glared at him, Steve was trying very, very hard not to grin.
9. telephone
"Weas, say, hypothetically, you were buying candy for Captain America-the Captain America-what would you get for him?"
10. ears
The first time they made too much noise, Wade was more embarrassed than Steve, and more ashamed than embarrassed: he was sure the Avengers would have preferred to believe Captain America was still going on dates with pretty girls.
11. name
When Clint said, "Why are we letting Deadpool stay here, again?" Steve simply corrected him: "His name is Wade."
12. sensual
Still close after the kiss, Steve stroked his thumb over Wade's exposed cheek and murmured, "We should probably get back to camp."
13. death
"Don't worry," Deadpool said, drawing his katanas and flashing Steve a grin, "Marvel won't kill either of us off; not permanently."
14. sex
When he made a (very self-censored) innuendo about sex with Steve, and Jessica laughed while Peter stared at him like he was crazy (that happened a lot), Wade realized that the Avengers somehow didn't know that he and Captain America were sharing a bed.
15. touch
Blind Al stroked an invisible beard, musing, "I always suspected I wasn't really his type."
16. weakness
"Al, I need your help-I beg you, I implore you, I will get down on my knees" (and he did) "-tell me everything you know about Steve Rogers's body."
17. tears
Wade said, "'Cause I'm happy," then buried his face in a pillow as his yellow boxes wondered why they were acting like a little girl.
18. speed
The bases were always confusing to Wade, and they were more confusing now that he was with a man, but he did know that it was taking far too long to get to the base where they took off their pants.
19. wind
Steve hadn't figured out that when Wade went AWOL, he was probably just lurking (not moping!) on the roof of the Mansion; Spiderman, of course, discovered his hide-out right away.
20. freedom
After he had been living in the Mansion for two weeks, Wade went to breakfast wearing nothing but his mask and katanas.
21. life
"Told you I can't die," Wade said, brushing what may or may not have been brain matter from Steve's extremely pale brow.
22. jealousy
Steve spent an inordinate amount of time glowering the weekend Siryn dropped in to visit.
23. hands
As Steve dozed beside him, Wade explored the pads and creases of the man's hands, amazed he was allowed to do even that.
24. taste
He plopped down next to Peter and said, "You know what tastes even better than ice cream? Captain America."
25. devotion
Wade had decided to play a little game called, "How many lewd and incredibly obvious hints can I make before the Avengers figure out I'm screwing Cap?"
26. forever
[We're going to live forever, and he won't.]
27. blood
Something about Captain America made Wade's heart race and his babbling more incoherent, and he felt uncomfortably like a dorky teenager.
28. sickness
Steve worried every time he tasted iron in his lover's mouth.
29. melody
Random was normal for Wade, but even Weasel got suspicious after he'd been humming the U.S. national anthem for a week straight.
30. star
As night fell, Wade was hyperaware of both Steve, who appeared to be stargazing, and Logan, because if anyone knew exactly what they'd been up to in that bathroom, it'd be Wolverine.
31. home
Wade had his own room in the mansion, and although he hardly (if ever) slept in it, it was a great place to keep his stuff.
32. confusion
When Steve had introduced Deadpool to the Avengers, he'd said, "This is Wade Wilson; he's going to be staying with me," so he was understandably baffled when his teammates' doubts about the man came up all over again.
33. fear
As they walked back to camp, Wade's stomach knotted up and he fell behind, musing that the distrust and loathing would probably be aimed directly at him once they knew; but he was just as afraid that they never would.
34. lightning/thunder
Spiderman tapped on his window, wildly illuminated by the flashes in the sky, and rain blew in as Steve opened it to hear: "Uh, Cap? I think Deadp- I mean, Wade, is getting dangerously friendly with the lightning rod on the roof..."
35. bonds
Wade almost laughs when Steve stills and whispers, low, in his ear, "Tie me up?"
36. market
"Hey Pete, you're on a condom run too, huh?"
37. technology
Although they will undoubtedly have fun with them, the main reason Wade buys anal beads for Steve is to see him blush again.
38. gift
When Wade shreds the wrapping off Steve's gift to him and finds a Golden Girls box set, he's speechless-not because this is an awesome present, which it is, or even because Steve had to have figured out how to buy this online-but because this means the man has actually been listening when he rambles.
39. smile
The first time Steve smiles at Wade [That's a "Good teamwork, team," smile, not a "I want to make sweet love to you" smile], Wade knows it can't mean much [Just checking] but his heart still tries to burst out of his chest [The metaphor is much less painful than the real thing].
40. innocence
Of course Wade had no idea that Captain America would be totally chivalrous and rescue Black Widow from having to sit in his lap.
41. completion
Wade's new game was all over when Steve entered the kitchen on the tail end of a particularly crude comment, and the beginning of Clint trying to shut him up and defend their leader; Cap proceeded to tell Clint that he should keep his opinions of Cap's private life to himself, and Clint nearly choked on his tongue.
42. clouds
There were a few (acceptable) drawbacks to dating Captain America-for instance, when Storm stopped by the Mansion on business, he couldn't hit on her.
43. sky
He lay awake under the funny-edged oblong of sky, wishing it wouldn't be completely disruptive to the mission to go shoot things in the woods, and scowling as his yellow boxes called him a lovesick little girl.
44. heaven
Steve broke their kiss, which took some effort considering Wade's hungry enthusiasm, and said, "Would you consider moving into the Mansion?"
45. hell
Wade had a hell of a time learning to censor himself, but he quickly learned that he couldn't say lewd things with both Cap and other Avengers in the room (either in the absense of the other was fine), and shouldn't talk about his trade with Steve in earshot.
46. sun
[You want him to ride you off into the sunset] "Ride me, maybe-wait."
47. moon
The only problem with having Captain America's very American ass in his face as the man maneuvered out of the car was pretending he didn't like it, and he was pretty sure Black Widow noticed the leer-shaped wrinkles in his mask, which she indicated by glowering even harder at him.
48. waves
Captain America wakes up extremely early, and Deadpool learns this in the morning because he's still lying awake; he gives Cap a shy little wave, while his yellow boxes tell him that he needs to stop acting like a teenage girl if he ever wants to get laid.
49. hair
Steve's hair and everything else was soaked by the time he reached Wade, who kept one hand stubbornly against the thin metal pole and whined, "Maybe I just wanted to know what it feels like."
50. supernova
In a very private moment of desperation, Steve began singing that one Duran Duran song he knew Wade really, really hated, until Wade abandoned the lightning rod to flee inside.