Arms out

[epiks13]

I feel like I'm forgetting everything. It's almost as if my brain keeps stumbling and things are so blurry. I've been forgetting things, and then there's the headaches, dizziness, and the pain. I can't keep everything straight. Or maybe it's just this immense fear of graduating and not being able to do what they've been teaching me to do for the

Comments

[phoenixxfaerie]

i didnt think u wanted to talk to me anymore. i didnt think you'd be willing to forgive me for not really seeing u this summer. if ur willing i still want to be friends with you. i miss ur friendship and talking to you.

[epiks13]

You didn't really try to talk to me after, you just let it stop. So to me that looks like you don't care, like it's not important enough to fix.

It just seems like there are so many other things that you would rather be doing than hanging out with me. And that's okay, it really is. You're in a different spot from me. But a perfect example is what happened on New Year's eve. You would have rather gone to the party at Ryan's or Jake's or where ever it was, and tried to bail out the last minute. Then the entire time you're with me I know you don't want to be there, you'd rather be with everyone else. It would be nice to not feel like the back up, like the second choice, even if I am.

We are two different people, that have different ideas and priorities. I'd rather not get drunk and go to parties, and that's what you like to do. Nothing wrong with it, that's just the way it is.

But the moment you got home, everyone that you talked to while you were in Arizona got dropped for the other people.

[phoenixxfaerie]

while i was in the wrong for not trying to get in touch with you both in the begining of summer and after the fact, you never once tried to get in touch with me either. does that mean u didnt care? i was making an adjustment. and it was more difficult that i anticipated and a lot of important things and ppl kinda got put to the side. but i didnt drop everyone i used to talk to in arizona. i still talk to and hang out with everyone i talked to while i was in az. your the only one thats staying mad at me for something ive appologized for. and thats your right. if u dont want to talk anymore thats fine. if its too late for me to try and salvage this, ok. im never on aim anymore and am hardly online and thats when we used to talk the most

[epiks13]

I'm not mad. I'm pretty neutral about i, if it seems like I'm coming off angry I'm sorry, it's not meant to be. And I don't expect an apology, and I don't dislike you because in the long run I know you mean well with things that you do. And we weren't at an "unfriendly" stage, I wasn't mean to you, you weren't mean to me.

With the decisions that I've made in the past, I'm changed certain things. I'm not going to chase after people if I feel like they don't want to be my friend. I don't want to be that clingy person that people hate. We both had a big summer, with a lot of changes and crazy things, so maybe it just in the way of things.

If I wrote everything down here, it would be stupid and long, and I think that it's pointless to talk about it because it would just be the two of us going back and forth about things that can't be changed. Things can be done differently to make it not like that though, on both parts. So maybe just starting over would be a better spot to begin.