yeah, i had that same problem for a long time. being scared of relationships. but really, it did work in my favor. the only one person i did go out with, i'm glad i stayed the hell away from for that 1 week. haha. i'm probably not helping you by saying that. but if you can be comfortable with yourself enough where sex and being close to people (aye, there's the rub) type things don't bother you, you're probably better off. but if its just about being close that draws you back---try it sometime. espeically if you are getting those "good vibes" from this girl. you can base it all on that, practically. but it's hard to differentiate when you are also getting lonely vibes from yourself. anyway, you can always run off and you won't be doing any worse than you are now.
Of course, she could have just been being nice. She's a nice girl.
I need to make up my mind. What I want. I need to decide. I suppose. But the process is so complicated. And I'm so ignorant. How to cure the ignorance? Or at least improve? Get out and go. But I feel I need to think it through first. So I'll keep working on that. In the casual, interspersed way that I do. Most everything.
You gotta let go sometimes Richard. I think you're really scared of losing grasp and just relaxing. I can't imagine how you get relaxed, I mean, like thinking about metaphysics? Surely when you drink or smoke you don't think this much? Under any other circumstances I wouldn't say this to someone, but: You think too much man. Just feel sometimes. I don't know, this is quite hypocritical, I'm just talking from everyone else's perspective, not my own, cause my own agrees with you. So I'm getting frustrated with me too. Bad forrest!
To a large extent you’re right. And yeah, actually, I do think this much when I drink and smoke. And actually, a lot of good ideas come to me during that time. But yeah. I was just thinking as I got some water that I've never really had to go out of my way to make friends or get to know someone or anything like that. It's always just happened. But with this girl stuff, one of the main things is going out of your way to "get the girl." And I have a huge block with it comes to that. Several huge blocks. I don't usually even talk to people just casually. Like, I never talk to anyone in my classes (unless I know them, of course). I've literally gone this entire year without talking to anyone I didn't know beforehand or anything like that. I guess I'm just so entertaining that I never really need to (as long as I've got that weekly philosophy club outlet). That's not to say that I should be like this or that it wouldn't be better for me to change and so forth, though. I know it would be good for me to open up more just in
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I need to make up my mind. What I want. I need to decide. I suppose. But the process is so complicated. And I'm so ignorant. How to cure the ignorance? Or at least improve? Get out and go. But I feel I need to think it through first. So I'll keep working on that. In the casual, interspersed way that I do. Most everything.
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