*_* Mmmmm. They're so hot and Hibari is so stubborn. My favorite KHR coupling ever.
You fell in and out of past and present tense a couple of times, but other than that, it was a lovely little piece. I wanted it to keep going, though : < *pout*
Found some more :) Deary me, I'm just a little grammar Nazi. GAH, Present tense is such a hassle! It's why I write all of my stories (fanfic or no) in past. Because in present, sometimes writing in past is all right, if the character is thinking about the past. Ugh @_@ Anyway, I'm not entirely sure if these are correct, but.
The rest of the day had been stressful (this is fine because now the story takes place after the "rest of the day"), but Hibari was smirkingsmirks to himself as he leftleaves the office. Kusakabe was going to get a new trainee, because that one had left with a broken nose and a great deal of mental damage. At least one thing had gone right today. (Mrrrr, I think this sentence is okay. :c It needs some basic editing, though. Maybe like, "Kusakabe has already left to go get a new trainee, because the aforementioned one left with a broken nose and great deal of mental damage. At least one thing had gone right today." Just an idea.)
The walk was home wasis dull and plagued with idiotic herbivores, some of them who
( ... )
0.o Thank you for putting so much effort into helping me. I'd be way too lazy too do something like this more often than not :D I've always had tense issues. Is past tense easier to write in? I like to switch it up because I feel like I'm always putting too many words in the past tense. It's overload...so I guess I randomly switch tense without even realising it. XD
THANK YOU THOUGH. ♥
How does one catch these errors? Are people gifted with good grammar or something? :D
Comments 5
You fell in and out of past and present tense a couple of times, but other than that, it was a lovely little piece. I wanted it to keep going, though : < *pout*
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I read through it and tried to fix them. Are there still any left?
Will have more later :)
Thanks
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The rest of the day had been stressful (this is fine because now the story takes place after the "rest of the day"), but Hibari was smirkingsmirks to himself as he leftleaves the office. Kusakabe was going to get a new trainee, because that one had left with a broken nose and a great deal of mental damage. At least one thing had gone right today. (Mrrrr, I think this sentence is okay. :c It needs some basic editing, though. Maybe like, "Kusakabe has already left to go get a new trainee, because the aforementioned one left with a broken nose and great deal of mental damage. At least one thing had gone right today." Just an idea.)
The walk was home wasis dull and plagued with idiotic herbivores, some of them who ( ... )
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I've always had tense issues. Is past tense easier to write in? I like to switch it up because I feel like I'm always putting too many words in the past tense. It's overload...so I guess I randomly switch tense without even realising it. XD
THANK YOU THOUGH. ♥
How does one catch these errors? Are people gifted with good grammar or something? :D
Reply
(The comment has been removed)
Thanks for reading. :)
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