begin

[obstinatrix]

Title: Begin
Original Text Erased: Under Your Skin
Erased by: obstinatrix
Original text author: flecalicious
Fandom (of original text): BBC Sherlock
Fandom (of erasure): None

Comments

[lizzie_marie_23]

Oh man, this is haunting and lovely. Some of these turns of phrase are beautifully evocative. I especially like:

fine bones twisting under skin.
and
She disappears like a whisper:
he dreams of chasms and dark distances,
and
The stain
flakes off easily.

[sophinisba]

This is beautiful!

[xenoamorist]

This is gorgeous. I especially liked these lines:

fine bones twisting under skin.

Perhaps she kisses him. The world
an impression of skin and teeth and mouth,
pressure points of feeling, hey Jude don't be afraid.

He thinks of a pill clutched in her fingers,
a red dot in the middle of her forehead.

You convey a wonderful distance between the characters and this sense that they're in two separate worlds, and I love that you bridge them together in the end as well.

[alias_sqbr]

This is lovely and understated, and it flows really well for an erasure (it was one of the things I had huge difficulty with myself)