The One Thing I Never Expected - Chapter 1
Rating: NC-17
Pairings: Ryan/Brendon
POV:1st, Brendon's
Summary: Ryan is Brendon's best friend, they grew up together. But Ryan is different. An accident when he was a child left him deaf. Brendon has always taken care of Ryan, but now he's starting to care for Ryan in a different way...
Disclaimer: Fiction, I own nothing. It's not real.
Author's Note: So, this might not be very good, because I haven't written slash before, but I figured, what the hell? Anyway, all the chapters are gonna be long, some longer than this one. And I plan on writing a lot of them. Let me know what you think! And if you like it, share it. (:
Masterpost
Chapter 1
I’m excited. My best friend is moving to my school today. After days and days of begging from both Ryan and I, his mother finally agreed to let him transfer to Palo Verde. I'm pretty damn ecstatic. No more spending my days with people that I pretend to like. No more thoughts of suicide due to boredom. Now, I’ll have Ryan there, and yeah, I’m pretty excited. It’s not that I don’t have any real friends there, I do, just not very many. There’s Spencer, Jon, William, and Gabe. Those are the only people I call my real friends at my school. It's not that people don't like me or anything, quite the opposite actually. I just don't like them.
I got up earlier than usual this morning, because of the excitement of course, but also because I’m meeting Ryan at the corner of the street a couple blocks over so we can walk to school together. We only live about a ten-minute walking distance from each other. I know he’s nervous. He’s already used to a regular school routine, yeah, but not public school. He went to a pretentious private school that he hated, but I know it’s going to be way harder for him at Palo Verde, which is precisely the reason that his mother was so reluctant to let him switch in the first place. She’s afraid of bullying, she’s afraid that he won’t be able to get around on his own, and she’s afraid that he’ll be too different, won’t fit in.
I think she sometimes forgets that he’s deaf, not mentally challenged.
The day that Ryan turned nine, about four years after we became friends, he was in an accident. His mom was taking him out to dinner for his birthday, and they invited me to come along. I was waiting for them to get to my house. Waiting and waiting, until I’d been waiting for an hour, and I realized something was wrong. Ryan’s mom is never late for anything. She’s always early. So I called their house, and nobody answered. I told my parents, who were worried as well. Ms. Ross would never fail to go through with plans without at least calling in advance. Finally, we got a call. It was Ryan’s mom, in hysterics, calling from the hospital, telling us that a drunk driver had hit them, and Ryan was in bad shape.
It was late that night, so my parents wouldn’t take me to the hospital until the next day, which I thought was absolutely ridiculous of them, no matter how much I begged. When we got there the next morning, Ms. Ross was hysterical. A doctor was telling her something, and she just...broke down, right there. My mom tried to comfort her as much as she could. By the time she was collected enough to speak, she told us what was wrong. “He’s lost his hearing, permanently. The damage was too bad to repair. The doctor said it’s so severe, even hearing aids won’t be able to help much. God, what are we going to do? That driver-that son of a bitch, he-he just drove off. Didn’t even stop, God.” And then she broke down again.
So, Ryan lost his hearing. Needless to say, things were different from then on. His mom hired this woman to come every day and teach him to sign-teach them both to sign. I didn’t know what to do, because it was so hard to communicate with Ryan. I wanted to learn to sign too. I wanted to be able to talk to my best friend. So I did learn, with Ryan and his mother. I even taught my mom a lot of it. She knows the basics, so Ryan can talk to her. I mean, he's usually at my house anyway. I still talk when I talk to him, but I sign too. He’s alright at reading lips, but it's hard for him. He can read mine better than anyone else's, so sometimes he pays more attention to me talking than he does to the signing. We’re so used to it now though, we always do it. He mouths the words along with it, but he won’t speak much. I'm the only person he talks to at all actually. He doesn't even talk to his mom, but she's glad he talks to me at least. He’s afraid that he sounds funny, even though he really doesn’t. It’s a little off, but he sounds almost normal. He doesn’t believe me.
Since I’m up super early, I can take my time getting ready. After my shower, I shuffle over to my closet and contemplate what to wear. I settle on black jeans, a plain red v-neck, and some checkered Vans. It’s ridiculously hot outside, so that’s all I’ll be wearing today. It’s the middle of August, and today’s the first day of school. Ryan and I spent the summer being excited about this, him getting to come to school with me. We’re both juniors this year. I’m sixteen, and Ryan’s seventeen, but he was held back a year because of his injury, so we’re in the same grade.
I fix my hair the way I like it, with my bangs down my face, and the back of my hair fluffed up just a little. I hop down the steps two at a time, and then bounce happily to the kitchen.
“Well someone’s in a good mood today,” my mom giggles. (She giggles a lot.) “What’s gotten into you? You’re never this excited for school.”
“Yeah, well that’s because Ryan’s usually not there. But now he will be, so yes, I’m in a good mood today.” I grin at her while she slides a plate of pancakes in front of me. “First day of school pancakes?” I ask her.
“Yep. I haven’t done that for you since you were thirteen. I thought it would be nice,” she says, smiling down at me. “Oh, I almost forgot to tell you. Ryan’s mother and I went to the school yesterday and talked to Mrs. Carter about Ryan’s situation. We got her to agree to give Ryan the same schedule as you, so you’ll be with him all day. That way he won’t have to worry about having to try to ask other people for help.”
“Oh, that’s awesome,” I tell her. “I’ve been worrying about that. I really don’t want him to feel out of place. Oh, and do you care if he comes over after school today?” That's a really pointless question, seeing as he's always over here.
“Of course not, honey.” She smiles her sweetest mom smile at me, and I feel lucky. I have a good mom.
“I love you,” I tell her, and give her a huge hug. So, I'm a mama's boy, whatever.
“Aw, I love you too, sweetie,” she says while I start on my pancakes.
After I’m done, I practically run out the door, calling, “Bye!” to my mom.
It feels like a sauna outside, and I hate it. I hate hot weather, so living in Vegas definitely sucks. There’s a slight breeze today, so that makes it better. It’s pretty out today. The sun is shining through the trees, making odd shadows and figures dance along on the pavement, and there are birds and squirrels out and about. I feel ridiculously cheery by the time I reach the corner we’re meeting at. Ryan’s not there yet. That may or may not be due to the fact that I left ten minutes early because I was too excited. I can’t stand still. Not just now, I mean, I never can. Always tapping things, and bouncing my leg, or just fidgeting. I’m about eighty percent positive that I’ve got ADHD or something. Who knows? As I’m contemplating whether or not ADHD medicine would make me depressed and go on a killing spree due to lack of happiness, someone grabs me from behind. “What the-" All of a sudden I’m bombarded with tickles on both my sides. Ryan knows that’s my weak spot, the bastard. We don't have a normal dude friendship. We act like a couple of twelve-year-old girls.
“Oh my God, stop it!” I giggle out as I turn around, so he can see what I’m saying.
“Oh, I’m sorry, was I tickling you? I thought you said you weren’t ticklish, Bren,” he signs for me with a playful smile on his face.
“Whatever, you ass. You might wanna be nice to the person who’s gonna be showing you around all day.” He gives me a questioning look. “Our moms made sure we have the same schedule so you can be with me all day,” I smile up at him. He’s only a few inches taller than me, but he likes to exaggerate it.
“Really? That’s good, because I was starting to freak out just a little.” He smiles his shy smile at me, and looks down at the ground. I can tell he’s worried.
“It’ll be fine, Ry. You won’t have to be on your own.” I instantly wish I hadn’t said that. Ryan hates when people insinuate that he can’t take care of himself. He rolls his eyes and pushes past me, starting to walk. I quickly jump in front of him. “You know I didn’t mean it like that. I know you can handle being on your own just fine…I just-I worry about you, you know?”
He looks slightly less annoyed. Then he sighs. “It’s just…people are going to act like I’m stupid. Why do people always think that deaf people are stupid? It just doesn’t make sense. I only want to be treated like everyone else. I don’t want people to tip-toe around me or treat me like a child.” He’s gotten very fast at signing, and it’s a good thing he mouths the words, because sometimes he gets ahead of himself, and that helps me follow what he’s saying.
“I promise we’re going to have a good day, okay? Nobody is going to pick on you. I know you’re worried about that, but I’m pretty well-liked at school, I don’t get picked on, so since you’ll be with me, nobody will mess with you. And just let them try, and see what happens. I won’t even put up with that shit.” He looks a bit amused, but also thankful and relieved. ”Nobody will mess with you,” I repeat, and give him a playful shove and a smile.
“You’re way too over-protective, Bren. What are you gonna do, beat up anyone who tries to talk to me?” he laughs. I love his laugh.
I grin at him and say, “Well, excuse me for being protective of my best friend. I’ll just abandon you then.” I start to walk away from him and he laughs and jumps onto my back, completely surprising me, making us both fall over onto the grass.
I look at him. “Oh, way to go, Ryan, you’re really smart. Now I’ve probably got grass stains all over my ass,” I joke with him.
We both stand up, and he says, “Turn around, let me see.”
“Trying to check out my ass, Ross?” I wink at him. He just laughs and turns me around, brushing some grass off me. I turn back around. “Now you’re touching my ass? Perv.” I’m grinning at him, and he rolls his eyes.
“Let’s go, we’re gonna be late.” He grabs my arm and tugs me onto the sidewalk with him.
We’re walking the fifteen-minute walk that it takes to get to school. He’s watching his feet, so I nudge him to let him know I want to say something. He looks up at me. ”You still nervous?” I ask.
He smiles, just a tiny bit, and then, “No, not really anymore. I’m just thinking of how funny it’s going to be when people see us signing to each other, and they have no idea what we’re saying,” he giggles. “It’s kinda like our own language. We don’t have to be secretive when we’re having a conversation,” he signs, “we can say whatever we want. I love it.” He’s really smiling now, full on grin.
“Yeah, I like that, too.” I give him my lopsided smile. “It’s going to get on everyone’s nerves,” I laugh. “Oh, and by the way,” I tell him, “You know my friends that I told you about?”
He thinks, and then he nods. “I think so…um. William, Spencer, Jon, and...uh, Gabe?”
“Right. Well, I told them about you too. We’ve all been friends since we were freshmen, when we all met,” I say.
He knits his brows, confused. “If you’ve been friends with them for two years…then why did you never mention them until this summer?”
“Well, I dunno, really. I never hang out with them outside of school. We’re just school friends, not really that close or anything. Maybe we should all hang out sometime though, that'd be fun. It’s probably not fair that you know nothing about them, but they know everything about you.” I give him an innocent look.
“They know everything about me?” he looks at me incredulously.
“Well, I talk about you all the time. You are my bestie, y’know,” I grin at him sheepishly.
Ryan rolls his eyes at my use of the word ‘bestie.’ We’ve just arrived at the front gates of the school, and we walk in. Ryan looks a bit tentative, but he follows, a step behind me. We get to school about ten minutes early, to get our schedules and find our lockers. We go to the office, give our names, and receive our class schedules and our locker combinations. Our lockers are right next to each other. We go find them, shoving our stuff into them and then closing them.
“Let’s see what our first class is…” I say, looking down at my paper. Pre-calculus. Great. “Oh God, we have math for our first class. That’s awful. How the hell am I supposed to function enough for math this early in the morning?” I look at him, putting a dramatic it’s-the-end-of-the-world look on my face. He giggles.
“You suck at math no matter what time of the day it is, loser.” I smack him lightly on the head.
“Shut up, Ross,” I say, and he smirks.
The first half of the day is nearly uneventful. I had to explain to all our teachers about Ryan. I told them that he can read lips some, and that I can translate for him and help him if he doesn’t understand something. The teachers were all kind and understanding about it, except for our chemistry teacher, Mr. Locklin. He’s just an asshole. He was annoyed by Ryan, you could tell. He got mad when Ryan didn’t catch something he said, and I had to sign it to him. And then Ryan was upset. We’ve just gotten out of Locklin’s class. It’s lunch hour now, and we’re walking to the cafeteria. Ryan’s walking with his head down, shoulders slouched. I poke his shoulder to get his attention.
“Locklin’s an asshole, Ry. Don’t let him get to you.” He just looks up at me, and puts on the fakest smile I’ve ever seen him give.
“I’m fine. It’s fine.”
I give him a look. “Ryan. I know you’re upset. Look,” I say, stopping him in the hall. “Don’t ever let anyone make you feel like you’re a burden. You’re not. Okay?” I’m looking straight in his eyes. I want him to know I mean this. He keeps staring at me, and then he looks down. I’m holding his shoulders, keeping him here. When he looks back up, he has tears in his eyes. I sometimes forget how sensitive he is. Great, it's only the first day and someone's already made him cry. That stupid fucking teacher.
“It makes me feel like I’m useless, when people like him treat me like that. He acts like it’s my fault.”
Seeing him like this just breaks my heart. He looks so sad. I can’t stand it. God, it makes me want to punch Locklin right in his fucking smug face. I gently pull Ryan in for a hug. He’s reluctant at first, but then he’s holding on for dear life, and sniffling into my shoulder. I feel bad for him. It’s only the first day, and he’s already having a hard time. “It’s okay,” I say soothingly, even though he can't hear it. I pull back, and tell him, “You’re a good person, Ryan, and you are not useless, okay?” He wipes his eyes, smiles and nods. “Wanna go eat now?” I ask him, and he nods again.
After we get our food, we go to sit at the outside tables, because like I said, it’s a nice day. We find an empty table and sit down. We’re barely there for five seconds when I hear a, “Brendon! Hey, man!” I look over and see Gabe and William strolling over. Spencer is in our first two classes, but we haven't had a chance to talk what with teachers being stressed over first-day-of-school drama. He’s supposed to find us for lunch, and I haven’t seen Jon at all yet. Gabe and William are now sitting down at the table with us. “I’ve been looking for you all day, man!” says Gabe enthusiastically.
William smiles his lazy smile and says, “Yeah, we missed you.”
“Hey guys, how you been?” I smile at them. “You seen Jon or Spence?”
“Yeah, they’re getting food,” William says. Then he turns towards Ryan. “You must be this Ryan we’ve heard about nonstop, yeah?” I told them that Ryan could read their lips if they talk to him, but they know he can’t hear.
Ryan smiles and nods.
William holds his hand to Ryan, and Ryan shakes it. “I’m William,” he says with a friendly smile, “and this is Gabe.” He points to Gabe. Gabe smiles. "We were gonna talk to you guys in English, but Mr. Morris looked like he was on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and I didn't really feel like getting yelled at," says William.
At that moment, Spencer and Jon come bounding over. “Dude, I’m tired of this nasty as fuck lunch. I swear they’re trying to poison us.” That would be Spencer, with his never-ending complaints.
Jon comes over and hugs me. “Brendon, dude, I’ve missed your nerdy self,” he says in that calm voice of his.
“I’m not a nerd,” I whine.
Ryan laughs and signs, “Don’t worry, Bren, you’re the coolest nerd I know.” That makes me giggle.
“Oh, hey, you must be Ryan!” Spencer points out. “I’m Spencer, I’m awesome.” He smiles his blinding smile. Ryan grins and waves.
“And I’m Jon. I've totally skipped all my classes so far.”
“Nobody cares about you, Jon,” says Gabe playfully.
“I care about you, Jon,” William declares, giving him a loving look. Jon grins back.
“Anyway guys,” I say, “As you’ve all noticed, this is my best friend, Ryan, and he’s had a rough day, so be halfway decent and don’t freak him out, okay?” I tell them.
“Oh please, Urie, you make us out to be so bad,” Gabe scoffs, then he smiles and punches my shoulder.
***
The rest of lunch is good. We have fun, joke around. Ryan seemed to be in a much better mood during Creative Writing, which we found out Spencer and William also have. We’re on our way to our last class, Music, which we also share with Will. Today we aren’t doing anything, just hanging out, because the teacher, Ms. Sparrow, is being lazy. Ryan, William, and I are sitting in the back of the room on a big rug, chatting to each other. Even though Ryan won’t talk to William, they seem to really be getting along. He makes me translate to William for him.
“Tell him that he should ask that girl out that he keeps staring at. She keeps looking at him, too.” So I tell William. He giggles, giggles, for fuck's sake. That is so unlike him. He definitely has a crush on that girl.
He says, “Nah man,” to Ryan, “she wouldn’t be interested, trust me.”
Ryan looks thoughtful for a minute before he gets out his notebook, bends over it and scribbles for a few seconds. Then, he abruptly gets up, strolls over to the girl, gives her the paper, and waits.
“Oh my God, what is he doing? He is going to embarrass the shit out of me, oh God,” William rambles, his cheeks turning pink as he puts his face in his hands.
When Ryan returns, he has a smug look on his face as he plops back down and looks at me. “She said she thinks he’s cute. She wants him to ask her out. Like, now,” he grins.
“Dude, she totally wants you. She thinks you’re cute, go ask her out. Now!” I tell William. He looks stunned.
“Ryan, I so owe you for this. You’re the best, oh my God.” He actually looks…giddy. William is usually so cool and collected. He hops up and goes over to the girl, giving her what he probably thinks is a sexy smile.
“William’s cool, I like him,” Ryan tells me. “I like them all, actually. Good job picking out friends,” he says, looking happy. Just then, the bell rings. We get up, grab our stuff, and head to my house.
***
“Get off of me, you fat ass!” Ryan says. He actually says it, surprising me. The last time he spoke was a week ago. He doesn’t do it often. It’s Friday night, and we’re in my room, about to watch movies. The week went by fairly good, apart from Mr. Locklin being his usual asshole self. We were trying to decide what movie to watch. Ryan wanted a scary movie, I wanted a comedy. He was being difficult, so I tackled him. We’re both laughing so hard it’s difficult to breathe.
“Dude, you talked!” I say when I get off him.
“Well my entire body was being pinned down, so I had to communicate to you somehow that you were crushing me,” he breathes out.
“You talked again!” I stupidly point out.
“I dunno, I’m in a talking mood tonight. Or would you rather me be my usual, boring, signing self?” he asks, the sarcastic little fuck.
“No! You know I love when you talk,” I smile at him sweetly. “My sweet little Ry, with his sweet little monotone voice that I love oh-so-much.”
“Fuck you,” he says, and grins at me. “I know I sound dumb, I just don’t care around you.”
“For the millionth time, Ryan, you do not sound weird! Usually the only deaf people that sound weird are the ones that are born deaf, or go deaf when they’re still teeny tiny. You were nine. You’d been talking for over seven years. You sound fine, you moron.”
“Whatever, I’m just glad I don’t have to hear your annoying voice anymore,” he smirks at me.
I put on my best hurt look, and put my hand over my heart. “That hurt, man, that really hurt.”
“Drama queen,” he laughs. Even though he’s talking, he’s still signing. It’s force of habit. I launch myself at him again, tickling him to death.
***
We finally settle on watching Silent Hill, which obviously, scares the living fuck out of me. Him and his damn obsession with scary movies.
“Would you chill, Bren? It’s not that scary,” he says, trying to hold back a laugh.
“Don’t laugh at me! You know I hate scary movies. Yet, for some reason, I always watch them with you, don’t I?” I reply sulkily.
“Because you’re the bestest friend ever!” he gushes over-enthusiastically, lying back on the bed beside me and throwing his arms around me.
“I really am. You’re totally my bitch.”
“Only sometimes,” he winks at me. That makes me laugh, a lot. Which makes him laugh in turn. Then we’re both in a fit of giggles. Once they subside, he gets under the blanket with me and snuggles up to me.
I look at him and jokingly say, “Are you coming on to me, Ross?”
“Yes, Brendon, I’m coming on to you. Please, take me now!” he says, fawning over me.
Something flips in my stomach, and I get a weird feeling. “You are ridiculous,” I laugh out. We finish the movie, and end up falling asleep before we can start another one.
***
The first thing I think when I wake up is that it is extremely fucking hot in here. Then I realize it’s because Ryan is next to me. The second thing I realize is that Ryan isn’t just next to me, he’s partially on top of me. His face is buried into my neck, his arm is draped over my stomach, and his legs are tangled up with mine. My first thought is, oh my God, he looks adorable. Then, wait-rewind. Adorable? Did I just think that my best friend, who is a boy, is adorable? Well, that's odd. That should not be what’s going through my mind right now. Carefully, I remove myself from him. However, it was unsuccessful, because I woke him up anyway. Dammit.
“Bren? You okay?” He asks. Okay? Why is he asking me if I’m okay? Then I realize I’m staring at him, half of me still on the bed.
“Oh-uh yeah. I’m fine. I’m just gonna…go, uh, I-I’m gonna go take a shower,” I stutter out. Stutter? I don’t stutter. Why do I suddenly feel nervous?
“Okay, I’m going back to sleep,” he smiles lazily up at me.
I go into the bathroom and turn the shower on, let the water heat up, and then step in. This is exactly what I needed, a hot shower. I let my mind wander, which was a mistake, because the first thing it wanders to is Ryan draped over my body. I wonder what he would have said if he’d seen us like that. I’d already untangled us before he woke up and saw. The blanket was at the foot of the bed. We must have kicked it off in our sleep. Ryan was shirtless. I have no idea when he took his shirt off. I could see his hipbones protruding from the top of his sweatpants. I stole a glance at them before I left the room, but I don’t know why. Suddenly, I get a weird feeling low in my stomach. I look down and, yep. I’m hard. This happens every morning.
I lean back against the shower wall as I let the hot water pour over me. It’s relaxing. I reach a hand down and start stroking myself. I just want to make this quick, so I speed it up. After five minutes or so, I’m getting close. I start jerking faster. There’s nothing in my mind, until there is. Out of nowhere, I picture Ryan on my bed, his hipbones visible, and his smooth, white skin. And I come. Jesus, fuck. I just-I just fucking came thinking about Ryan. My best friend, who is a guy. I’m not gay. I’ve never, ever been attracted to guys. Ryan’s gay, but that means nothing. I’m completely fine with gay people. He told me two years ago. I always had a feeling his ‘friend’ Jason always liked him a little too much. But what the fuck, back to the point-I just came thinking about my best friend, Ryan, who is a dude. That is not normal. That has never happened. I’m freaking out. I don’t know what to do. Oh, God. I quickly get out of the shower, dry off and wrap the towel around my waist, and go back to my room.
Ryan isn’t sleeping. He’s sitting cross-legged on my bed eating a pop-tart. He smiles when he sees me. His hair is sticking up at funny little angles in weird places, and he still hasn’t put a shirt on. He looks sleepy still, and it’s-yeah. Adorable as fuck. God, I need to stop thinking.
He gives me a wary look. “Are you sure you’re okay, Brendon? You look…I dunno, off.”
I clear my throat. Oh, Jesus, what if he knows? Can he tell I just jerked off thinking about him? Oh my God, what if he knows? “Uh, I’m, yeah, I’m ah…I’m fine. Fine, just fine. What about you?” Now he’s looking at me like I’m a crazy person. He puts his pop-tart down and stares at me. I stare back.
“You’re so weird, Bren,” he laughs. Relief floods me. He doesn’t know, I think to myself. “What do you wanna do today?” he asks.
“Um, whatever you want. It doesn’t matter to me.”
“Oh, good because I…” I don’t know what he’s saying. I’m too busy freaking the fuck out.
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