Title: "Four Hundred Years, and Still Too Short"
Author: Erimthar
Fandom: Angel
Rating: R
Word count: 1,226
Pairing: Lilah/Darla
Summary: Lilah takes a very special meeting in her office.
Notes: I decided to write an unusual pairing, featuring characters I've never written before, for International Day of Femslash 2011. This story takes place during Angel season 2, probably sometime between "Untouched" and "Dear Boy." Some spoilers for that season.
Lindsey folded his arms, sat back in the chair and stared levelly at Lilah over the polished top of her desk.
"They vacuumed her up on Monday morning and poured her in a dumpster," he said to her. "It took the best bloodhound mages on the planet six solid weeks to track down every speck of her at the landfill, in the dumpster, in every garbage truck between the dumpster and the landfill, and in the cracks between the floorboards of that club."
"I know," Lilah said coolly. "I read the same reports you did."
"We had to blow up an airplane full of mid-level department managers, two emeritus board members, and a white, black, and Asian girl from the secretarial pool, in order to meet the human sacrifice requirements for a spell to bring someone back who's three years dead and whose mortal remains fit inside a sandwich bag. I still get dirty looks when I go by the Human Resources department."
"At least we didn't have to give up our Aeron chairs," Lilah quipped.
"And then there was the little matter of tracking down her soul, lost in the ether for four centuries, and with gypsy grandmothers in kind of short supply these days."
"I know you've got a point in there somewhere," Lilah said impatiently. "Or did you comb your hair over it?"
"And you still think the Senior Partners went to all this trouble to bring Darla back, just so she could seduce Angel?"
"That's exactly what I think," she snapped. "Since when do the Senior Partners give a crap what anything costs?"
Lindsey noted with some satisfaction that Lilah seemed a bit tense this afternoon. Normally she was cool as a cucumber when they had their little exchanges, but this time he could distinctly detect a little sheen of sweat on her forehead. That was odd, since the AC was working... maybe a little too well, judging by the way her nipples seemed to be trying to poke their way right through her bra and blouse.
"With a little more experience," he said, "you'll learn to think more creatively about our valuable assets. Darla has way more to offer the firm than a honeytrap to reel in Shanshu Boy."
Oh, I'm sure you're thinking creatively about her, Lilah thought. "I suppose you're going to give me a list of bullet points."
"And because of our tight friendship, I'm not even going to include the actual bullets. She spent four hundred years as one of the most active, feared vampires on the planet. The Master himself crossed the Atlantic to sire her. That was a three month voyage by ship back then, and three months back, with nothing but a layer of wooden planks between him and the sun. All the time she's been around, all the things she's done, all the people and assorted hell-beasts she's met... she has access to more information and more potential contacts than anybody else on our roster."
"I'll be sure to hook her up with a company t-shirt and coffee mug," Lilah returned. "Maybe she's good with a glove, too? We need a new first basewoman for the softball team. The old one was on that plane we blew up." Her bon mot ended in a sudden little coughing fit. As she reached for the carafe of water on her desk, Lindsey noticed that her hand was shaking a bit.
"Are you coming? Going down or something?" Lilah thought she heard him ask.
"What??"
"I said, are you coming down with something? You don't look so good. You got a surprise review coming up? I'd be a little concerned about my performance too, if I were you."
"Nothing a good night's sleep won't fix," she said tensely. "Now why don't you get back to your pretend work? You're wearing out my visitor chair. I believe you still have your own office around here, at least for the time being."
Lindsey grinned at her, stood up and stretched casually. "The mark of a true professional is the ability to take friendly advice," he said breezily. "I think Hitler said that in the bunker."
"Duly noted," Lilah snapped. Lindsey raised his eyebrows. She must really be off her game if she wasn't even bothering to banter anymore.
Go go go go go go go... Lilah thought desperately as Lindsey let himself out of her office. It seemed like he was moving in slow motion.
As soon as the door clicked shut behind him, Lilah huffed and puffed, made a face like she'd bitten into a very sour lemon, and gritted her teeth. She wanted to scream, but swallowed it back and instead allowed herself a long, shivering groan that gradually turned into a whimper. Her legs shook and her belly heaved as hot, sugary pleasure flooded every corner of her beautiful body and her ugly soul.
When it was over she slumped back in her chair, stared up at the soundproof ceiling tiles, and laughed with delight as she tried to catch her breath. With her feet, she pushed her chair back from the desk.
"Wow," she purred. "Did I ever need that. I feel like a million tax-sheltered, untraceable bucks."
Darla climbed out from underneath the desk, shaking out her mussed blonde hair. "I believe these are yours," she said to Lilah, and presented her with a pair of zebra-striped bikini panties.
"Why, I do believe they are," Lilah grinned, taking them. "I'd have worn something a little more absorbent, if I knew you were coming today."
"I'm not the one who came today," Darla pointed out.
"Hmmm. That can be remedied. That can definitely be remedied." Lilah stood up, stepped her Louboutin-clad feet into the leg holes of her panties, slid them up her long bare legs underneath her short skirt, and wriggled them into place. "That was some pretty amazing tongue-work. Where did a nice girl like you learn that stuff?"
"I'll have to tell you about the summer I spent in Venice with Drusilla."
Lilah grinned wickedly at her. "Yes, you will have to. Hope you've still got some interest in sausage, though. If not, the Senior Partners are gonna be disappointed. Not to mention Lindsey."
"Lindsey?"
"Oh, yes. He wants very much to jump your expensively re-assembled bones. Can't you tell? That's why you and I had this little encounter today."
Darla looked at her curiously.
"Lindsey wants you," Lilah explained, "and that means I had to have you first. It's a little game we play. And today, I won. Yay!" She waved a pair of invisible pompoms.
"How romantic," Darla said dryly.
"Oh, I'm sorry," Lilah teased. "Did you fall in love with me while you were kneeling under my desk, licking my cunt?"
Darla shrugged. "If it's a whore you want, I've got lots of experience. How do you intend to pay for the services I rendered?"
Lilah smiled and licked her lips. "Will you take payment in trade? I used to be a lesbian in college. I'm pretty sure I remember how."
Darla crossed her arms. "That's not prostitution, then. It's just us fucking. I think I'd prefer if we kept it a business transaction."
"Why?"
"Because I have my soul back."
Lilah shook her head and smiled. "Maybe you and Lindsey would be pretty good together after all."