On Support For Feminism

[erithanis]

The article: Don't Be That GuyFirst of all I have to say that this piece was well written, especially in that it harasses a guy reading it very little. There have been few times I've been pointed towards this kind of material without being assaulted with "men are evil", "how can you live with yourself", etc. This can only hurt the cause these

Comments

[shadowedreamer]

That's a GREAT article. G-d, I hate it when people tell me to smile. Well, sometimes it seems like it's actually out of concern for me, if it's a stranger somewhere and I'm lost in thought - this happened over spring break in Belize and was actually very sweet.

But if someone I'm having a real conversation with, or someone who knows me well, and they're interrupting a real conversation for "oh, you look so worried, smile!" especially if I have [i]reason[/i] to be worried... it's very patronizing. "You should smile more, you have such a pretty smile...[and of course, being pretty and happy is your major function]."

There are probably things I'd take issue with in that essay, but they're all details. It's worth reading and thinking about and trying to understand. =D Thanks for sharing.

yay

[nysick]

I'm glad you clicked and thought about it enough to write about it

Re: yay

[nysick]

geez, first time in my life I ran out of space in the comment. Sorry for the weird white space above

Re: yay

[shadowedreamer]

The writer was female, by the way. Only relevant since you mention the writer's being male as a reason to trust his assessment of "you're being a creep" as a thing that's OK to say. I also thought that particular line was a very dangerous one - not always, depending on whether the guy was engaged in attempted 'conquest' or just trying to be friendly/flirtatious. That is, if he was completely oblivious, maybe a little "hey, she looked pretty uncomfortable" can help him be less oblivious. But it's certainly not for the creeps who're just trying to get laid.

In reply to the post/commentary/etc: I've often been guilty of this 'stealing someone's ideas' thing just because I can see how to rephrase a thing and make it understood. I would never 'call someone out' for it as though it were an attempt to take credit for the idea (unless it obviously was, as in 'hey i just got this idea, what if X'). But, you need to turn to the original speaker and acknowledge "Oh, that was what you meant. Now I see it! Thanks for pointing that out."

Re: yay

[nysick]

you're absolutely right, the writer is female, she was writing partly in response to a post by a male, I'm an idiot.