hmm. this post gave me a lot to think about - i still need some time before i can say anything eloquent, let alone meaningful.
that having been said: i'm too frightened to have children. partially because i still fear that having children makes women appear weak [it's an irrational fear i know, but as someone who might become a war correspondent, how would having kids work into that equation?] the whole thought of pregnancy sounds repulsive, and the responsibility of raising a child is daunting. also, i'm still a bit nervous about being in close relationships with men. is it because of my body image? the fact that my father was abusive when i was younger? i find myself questioning my motives a lot... do i want to be in a relationship so that i feel protected? so that i'll have a sense of security? so that i'll never be alone? i wonder if i'll ever find someone with whom i simply want to be with him.oh well. i'm only seventeen. i still have some time to figure this out
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I have to say having children makes women stronger. Men often want to prove they are strong, but if you are really strong, there is no need to prove anything. I always think how absurd whenever I see gay men and drag queens trying to be more feminine than women - you can live like a dame and enjoy being a dame without having to give a damn about why everyone should know you are a dame. To deny someone's manhood to prove who he is makes as little sense as a bald man going to hair salon. The art of being feminine, and the art of being strong (these two are related for perfectly good reasons), is the art of concealment. You reveal just enough to hint at what you have and stop at that. A woman can impart all that is tantalizing with the smallest gesture, the wrist's movement when she lights a cigarette, the way she shifts her weight on a seat to announce comfort or boredom, the ear and side of the neck she occasionaly uncovers by keeping the hair back (and the trace of perfume). Whatever is exposed is vulnerable. Men will discover how
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this is laden with questions - apologies in advancewartimeheroineFebruary 19 2006, 02:59:42 UTC
i see your point about childbirth being a sign of strength. however, i'm still afraid that one day, i'll be at work or on assignment and think, "it's my son's birthday today, what sort of mother am i, not being at home with him?!" --- is it possible to be good at both motherhood and ones' career? i'm not a feminist by any means [at least not in the conventional sense] but at the same time, i know that having kids can sometimes complicate ambitious career goals.
*women who flirt by showing vulnerability are often being manipulative; she only wants the man to think she is vulnerable and weak. that's one thing we are good at, i suppose - masking emotion and replacing it with another. however, i often envy the absolute beauty [and freedom] that blunt honesty entails. what i wouldn't give to be forceful without appearing abrasive
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that having been said: i'm too frightened to have children. partially because i still fear that having children makes women appear weak [it's an irrational fear i know, but as someone who might become a war correspondent, how would having kids work into that equation?] the whole thought of pregnancy sounds repulsive, and the responsibility of raising a child is daunting. also, i'm still a bit nervous about being in close relationships with men. is it because of my body image? the fact that my father was abusive when i was younger? i find myself questioning my motives a lot... do i want to be in a relationship so that i feel protected? so that i'll have a sense of security? so that i'll never be alone? i wonder if i'll ever find someone with whom i simply want to be with him.oh well. i'm only seventeen. i still have some time to figure this out ( ... )
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*women who flirt by showing vulnerability are often being manipulative; she only wants the man to think she is vulnerable and weak. that's one thing we are good at, i suppose - masking emotion and replacing it with another. however, i often envy the absolute beauty [and freedom] that blunt honesty entails. what i wouldn't give to be forceful without appearing abrasive ( ... )
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