(no subject)
Okay, sorry, but this song makes my head spin.
I know there’s something in the wake of your smile
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yeah
You've built a love but that love falls apart
Your little piece of heaven turns too dark
Listen to your heart when he’s calling for you
Listen to your heart, there’s nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going and I don't know why
But listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye
Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile
The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yeah
They're swept away and nothing is what is seems
The feeling of belonging to your dreams
Listen to your heart when he’s calling for you
Listen to your heart, there’s nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going and I don't know why
But listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye
And there were voices that want to be heard
So much to mention but you can't find the words
His scent of magic the beauty that’s been
Well I was wilder than the wind
Listen to your heart when he’s calling for you
Listen to your heart, there’s nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going and I don't know why
But listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye
Listen to your heart
I don't know where your going and I don't know why
Listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye
And I think, I want to live by an ocean. Even though I loathe beaches.
Of course anywhere near a nice beach must be expensive. And an 18-year-old fresh out of high school is going to have to trouble keeping her hide off the streets, especially if she wants to try and afford going to college. But I can dream. Hell, that's all I do anymore.
And you know, I wonder. What's the point/reason/meaning of life? I guess for everyone it's different. I don't even know my reason yet/anymore.
I want my mom back. I wonder if she left somewhat because of me, I've proved difficult to put up with, I know. But today my sister was talking to me and she was all 'Mom never stopped talking about you. Whenever we went shopping she was all Do you think Samrina would like this? Should we buy this for Samrina? I'm going to get her this.'
I eat every harsh word I ever said about her. I hate anger and the things it makes me do and say. And even though I'm almost scared to see her again, at the same time I want to see her so much. 'Cause I know that the whole world could hate me, abandon me, turn their backs on me... no one's love is more true than my mom's, I've come to realize finally. It took me 15 damn long years and an example of 'true love' from someone else, but I learned. But then again, maybe it isn't fair to compare anyone else's love with that of a mother. It's incomparable.
I'm not upset with her for leaving. How things were, I almost wished myself she'd leave so she wouldn't have to deal with any of our shit anymore. I just wish she could've said good bye..
On a different note, I've started reading up on astrological signs again.
Cancer is ruled by the Moon. This zodiac sign is ruled by emotions. Cancer is a Cardinal water sign. The world is a scary place for Cancer, they are emotionally vulnerable and sensitive. When a Cancer's world gets too hot to handle, they need a safe house, food, warmth, family and lots of hugs. The polarity is Yin, feminine and negative.
Cancer is known as the peacemaker of the zodiac. You have a lot of patience and understanding of others. You hate to see pain and suffering in others. You love to nurture and help others, but you hide your own feelings in an effort to avoid conflict.
RULER: Moon
PHYSICAL CORRELATION: Stomach, female breasts, glands
TAROT CORRESPONDENT: The Chariot
ELEMENT: Water
QUALITY: Cardinal
FEMININE
COLOR: Brown
NATURAL HOUSE: Fourth
NATURAL HOUSE QUALITIES: Angular and terminal or endings
KEYWORDS: intuitive, maternal
PHRASE: "I feel"
The Cancerian character is the least clear-cut of all those associated with the signs of the zodiac.
It is a fundamentally conservative and home-loving nature, appreciating the nest like quality of a secure base to which the male can retire when he needs a respite from the stresses of life, and in which the Cancerian woman can exercise her strong maternal instincts. The latter tends to like and to have a large family.
That is not to say that the Cancerian is unsociable, just that for them there is a time to socialize and a time to be solitary, and this is part of the apparent contradiction in their nature. Outwardly they can appear formidable - thick-skinned, unemotional, uncompromising, obstinately tenacious, purposeful, energetic, shrewd, intuitive and wise, sometimes with a philosophical profundity of thought verging on inspiration. Their intimates, however, may see a very different character, one with a sympathetic and kindly sensitivity to other people, especially those they love.
They are often over-imaginative and prone to fantasy, sometimes trying to shape their lives to fit some romantic ideal.
Their sharp ears and talent for mimicry can sometimes give them success on the stage, though their tendency to be emotional may make them overact.
Interestingly - because they give the impression of being down-to-earth - they are often fascinated by the occult and are more open to psychic influence than the average.
If they can reconcile the personal conflict of their urge to be outgoing with the reserve that causes them to withdraw into themselves, then at best they can inspire a generation, especially the youthful part of it, by their idealism.
In their personal relationships they are mentally a mixture of toughness and softness, often emotional and romantic to the point of sentimentality in their fantasies; but in real life and in marriage, their loving is not so sentimental but tenaciously loyal. Even if they have affairs (and they may do so, for the male in particular is open to sensual stimulation), their first loyalty remains to spouse and family, of whom they regard themselves as the protector.
Cancerians have a retentive memory, particularly for emotionally laden events which they can recall in detail for years afterwards. they are strongly governed by childhood memories and since they live intensely in the past in memory and in the future in imagination, a chance meeting with someone for whom they had an unrequited love, even if they thought they had conquered the feeling, will easily rouse the emotion all over again.
The Cancerian has many potential faults. They can be untidy, sulky, devious, moody, inclined to self-pity because of an inferiority complex, brood on insults (very often imagined), yet are easily flattered.
They are easily corrupted and, because they are convincing romanticizers, can make successful confidence tricksters.
Their abilities fit the Cancerian for a wide range of occupations.
They can serve in other departments of public affairs, especially those which involve looking after others, for example in any kind of service from welfare and nursing to catering - their own love of comfort and good living makes the Cancerian an excellent chef or housekeeper.
The romantic side of their natures make them enjoy grubbing about in places where exciting discoveries may be made (old stamp collections in attics, etc.), and if they can do this professionally as a secondhand dealer or specialist in antiques, they will be happy.
This is the most feminine of all signs, and you have a very strong attachment to home and mother. There is a grave need to protect self and family from threat, and you use your hard crab shell to sustain a remarkable self-defense.
You have a tendency to look to the past, however, and your worst faults are worrying, clinging to others, an inability to let go when something is over, and moodiness (which you get from the moon). You make very nurturing, loving partners, however, and take great pride in giving very inventive presents to those close to you. You are firmly committed to children and a family life, but you do enjoy variety and change within a need for continuity.
You are natural cooks. (Again-- In your face.)
As a Protector, Cancer carries its house upon its back, thus your home can be two places--on land in the real world, or in the water in the emotional world. Your greatest challenge is to find an inner center or shell and function from there. This will stabilize you from the rocking of the tidal flow of life.
You possess a subconscious mind that keeps many things hidden. Nothing is very clear or direct for you. You tend to respond to most things through your feelings, which can appear to others as vague. Many times, feeling and thinking are not separated. As a result, you can be very psychic.
Cancer rules the public, or mass consciousness, thus you are never ruled by reason, but by emotion. You tend to have a civilizing, taming influence on people. Your deep need for roots, or a peaceful state of mind, can turn into neediness if you don't find a good place to rest your powerful emotions. If you do, you can shine and even provide a safe harbor or refuge for others seeking a retreat for solitude. You are usually gentle and kind, unless you are hurt. In that case, a vindictive and sharp claw can attack, and can even smother. You move sideways, like a crab, when in love, avoiding confrontations, sometimes hiding behind protective urges.
On the downside, you can be lazy, and dislike exercise. Later in life, some Cancers have suffered from poor circulation, perhaps because they absorb so much feeling and pain in their life. They have incredible memories, and use their "antennae" to probe what is in front of them, asking: "Is it safe?" Cancer rules the stomach or "gut feeling," so they typically make decisions using their intuition.
They have a definite preference for old things: old houses, sweaters, jewelry, etc. They enjoy rituals or traditions that link the past to the present.
They are the Great Mother--nurturing, protecting--yet this could also turn into the Devourer if not balanced properly. You can't feed them enough. Generally, though, Cancers try to mother everyone, and make great adoptive parents. They are fiercely protective, flowing with the ebb and tide of the moon. Experience flows through them, and their moodiness results in changeable interests and social circles. Once a Cancer trusts you, however, he or she lets you into a most private world.
Cancers have a natural connection with children and animals. A Cancer woman is enigmatic and elusive, with changeable moods that are difficult to pin down. She is frequently insecure and scared of commitment, but is gentle and sympathetic to your needs. She has a deep need for roots or a home, anything near water (remember Cancer is a water sign). She nurtures everything--animals, children, orphans; feeling always comes first for her.
In romance, Cancers are generally evasive--flirtatious, coy, the ever-moving crab seeking food and running from predators. He or she enjoys entertaining at home, surrounded by all that is familiar. They are usually not lavish spenders, except with the home or family, and tend to buy inexpensive items. They also tend to be big savers.
They enjoy a creative response to life, and have a deep desire to build and grow something of lasting value, something real. In conjunction with the Moon, Cancer rules all growing and changing in life, through natural cycles, shifting tides, which find an outlet in rituals and brooding--anything that connects the present to the past, and marks a new beginning.
That's my sign. Just so this post doesn't get too full, I'll post more about other signs later on.
~'Don't tell me sky is the limit when there's foot prints on the moon.'~
Edit//More quotes. Because quotes are awesome.
Lost time is never found again.
--Benjamin Franklin--
It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.
--Henry David Thoureau--
It's choice - not chance - that determines your destiny.
--Jean Nidetch--
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do then by the ones you did. So, throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
--Mark Twain--
I know there’s something in the wake of your smile
I get a notion from the look in your eyes, yeah
You've built a love but that love falls apart
Your little piece of heaven turns too dark
Listen to your heart when he’s calling for you
Listen to your heart, there’s nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going and I don't know why
But listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye
Sometimes you wonder if this fight is worthwhile
The precious moments are all lost in the tide, yeah
They're swept away and nothing is what is seems
The feeling of belonging to your dreams
Listen to your heart when he’s calling for you
Listen to your heart, there’s nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going and I don't know why
But listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye
And there were voices that want to be heard
So much to mention but you can't find the words
His scent of magic the beauty that’s been
Well I was wilder than the wind
Listen to your heart when he’s calling for you
Listen to your heart, there’s nothing else you can do
I don't know where you're going and I don't know why
But listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye
Listen to your heart
I don't know where your going and I don't know why
Listen to your heart before you tell him goodbye
And I think, I want to live by an ocean. Even though I loathe beaches.
Of course anywhere near a nice beach must be expensive. And an 18-year-old fresh out of high school is going to have to trouble keeping her hide off the streets, especially if she wants to try and afford going to college. But I can dream. Hell, that's all I do anymore.
And you know, I wonder. What's the point/reason/meaning of life? I guess for everyone it's different. I don't even know my reason yet/anymore.
I want my mom back. I wonder if she left somewhat because of me, I've proved difficult to put up with, I know. But today my sister was talking to me and she was all 'Mom never stopped talking about you. Whenever we went shopping she was all Do you think Samrina would like this? Should we buy this for Samrina? I'm going to get her this.'
I eat every harsh word I ever said about her. I hate anger and the things it makes me do and say. And even though I'm almost scared to see her again, at the same time I want to see her so much. 'Cause I know that the whole world could hate me, abandon me, turn their backs on me... no one's love is more true than my mom's, I've come to realize finally. It took me 15 damn long years and an example of 'true love' from someone else, but I learned. But then again, maybe it isn't fair to compare anyone else's love with that of a mother. It's incomparable.
I'm not upset with her for leaving. How things were, I almost wished myself she'd leave so she wouldn't have to deal with any of our shit anymore. I just wish she could've said good bye..
On a different note, I've started reading up on astrological signs again.
Cancer is ruled by the Moon. This zodiac sign is ruled by emotions. Cancer is a Cardinal water sign. The world is a scary place for Cancer, they are emotionally vulnerable and sensitive. When a Cancer's world gets too hot to handle, they need a safe house, food, warmth, family and lots of hugs. The polarity is Yin, feminine and negative.
Cancer is known as the peacemaker of the zodiac. You have a lot of patience and understanding of others. You hate to see pain and suffering in others. You love to nurture and help others, but you hide your own feelings in an effort to avoid conflict.
RULER: Moon
PHYSICAL CORRELATION: Stomach, female breasts, glands
TAROT CORRESPONDENT: The Chariot
ELEMENT: Water
QUALITY: Cardinal
FEMININE
COLOR: Brown
NATURAL HOUSE: Fourth
NATURAL HOUSE QUALITIES: Angular and terminal or endings
KEYWORDS: intuitive, maternal
PHRASE: "I feel"
The Cancerian character is the least clear-cut of all those associated with the signs of the zodiac.
It is a fundamentally conservative and home-loving nature, appreciating the nest like quality of a secure base to which the male can retire when he needs a respite from the stresses of life, and in which the Cancerian woman can exercise her strong maternal instincts. The latter tends to like and to have a large family.
That is not to say that the Cancerian is unsociable, just that for them there is a time to socialize and a time to be solitary, and this is part of the apparent contradiction in their nature. Outwardly they can appear formidable - thick-skinned, unemotional, uncompromising, obstinately tenacious, purposeful, energetic, shrewd, intuitive and wise, sometimes with a philosophical profundity of thought verging on inspiration. Their intimates, however, may see a very different character, one with a sympathetic and kindly sensitivity to other people, especially those they love.
They are often over-imaginative and prone to fantasy, sometimes trying to shape their lives to fit some romantic ideal.
Their sharp ears and talent for mimicry can sometimes give them success on the stage, though their tendency to be emotional may make them overact.
Interestingly - because they give the impression of being down-to-earth - they are often fascinated by the occult and are more open to psychic influence than the average.
If they can reconcile the personal conflict of their urge to be outgoing with the reserve that causes them to withdraw into themselves, then at best they can inspire a generation, especially the youthful part of it, by their idealism.
In their personal relationships they are mentally a mixture of toughness and softness, often emotional and romantic to the point of sentimentality in their fantasies; but in real life and in marriage, their loving is not so sentimental but tenaciously loyal. Even if they have affairs (and they may do so, for the male in particular is open to sensual stimulation), their first loyalty remains to spouse and family, of whom they regard themselves as the protector.
Cancerians have a retentive memory, particularly for emotionally laden events which they can recall in detail for years afterwards. they are strongly governed by childhood memories and since they live intensely in the past in memory and in the future in imagination, a chance meeting with someone for whom they had an unrequited love, even if they thought they had conquered the feeling, will easily rouse the emotion all over again.
The Cancerian has many potential faults. They can be untidy, sulky, devious, moody, inclined to self-pity because of an inferiority complex, brood on insults (very often imagined), yet are easily flattered.
They are easily corrupted and, because they are convincing romanticizers, can make successful confidence tricksters.
Their abilities fit the Cancerian for a wide range of occupations.
They can serve in other departments of public affairs, especially those which involve looking after others, for example in any kind of service from welfare and nursing to catering - their own love of comfort and good living makes the Cancerian an excellent chef or housekeeper.
The romantic side of their natures make them enjoy grubbing about in places where exciting discoveries may be made (old stamp collections in attics, etc.), and if they can do this professionally as a secondhand dealer or specialist in antiques, they will be happy.
This is the most feminine of all signs, and you have a very strong attachment to home and mother. There is a grave need to protect self and family from threat, and you use your hard crab shell to sustain a remarkable self-defense.
You have a tendency to look to the past, however, and your worst faults are worrying, clinging to others, an inability to let go when something is over, and moodiness (which you get from the moon). You make very nurturing, loving partners, however, and take great pride in giving very inventive presents to those close to you. You are firmly committed to children and a family life, but you do enjoy variety and change within a need for continuity.
You are natural cooks. (Again-- In your face.)
As a Protector, Cancer carries its house upon its back, thus your home can be two places--on land in the real world, or in the water in the emotional world. Your greatest challenge is to find an inner center or shell and function from there. This will stabilize you from the rocking of the tidal flow of life.
You possess a subconscious mind that keeps many things hidden. Nothing is very clear or direct for you. You tend to respond to most things through your feelings, which can appear to others as vague. Many times, feeling and thinking are not separated. As a result, you can be very psychic.
Cancer rules the public, or mass consciousness, thus you are never ruled by reason, but by emotion. You tend to have a civilizing, taming influence on people. Your deep need for roots, or a peaceful state of mind, can turn into neediness if you don't find a good place to rest your powerful emotions. If you do, you can shine and even provide a safe harbor or refuge for others seeking a retreat for solitude. You are usually gentle and kind, unless you are hurt. In that case, a vindictive and sharp claw can attack, and can even smother. You move sideways, like a crab, when in love, avoiding confrontations, sometimes hiding behind protective urges.
On the downside, you can be lazy, and dislike exercise. Later in life, some Cancers have suffered from poor circulation, perhaps because they absorb so much feeling and pain in their life. They have incredible memories, and use their "antennae" to probe what is in front of them, asking: "Is it safe?" Cancer rules the stomach or "gut feeling," so they typically make decisions using their intuition.
They have a definite preference for old things: old houses, sweaters, jewelry, etc. They enjoy rituals or traditions that link the past to the present.
They are the Great Mother--nurturing, protecting--yet this could also turn into the Devourer if not balanced properly. You can't feed them enough. Generally, though, Cancers try to mother everyone, and make great adoptive parents. They are fiercely protective, flowing with the ebb and tide of the moon. Experience flows through them, and their moodiness results in changeable interests and social circles. Once a Cancer trusts you, however, he or she lets you into a most private world.
Cancers have a natural connection with children and animals. A Cancer woman is enigmatic and elusive, with changeable moods that are difficult to pin down. She is frequently insecure and scared of commitment, but is gentle and sympathetic to your needs. She has a deep need for roots or a home, anything near water (remember Cancer is a water sign). She nurtures everything--animals, children, orphans; feeling always comes first for her.
In romance, Cancers are generally evasive--flirtatious, coy, the ever-moving crab seeking food and running from predators. He or she enjoys entertaining at home, surrounded by all that is familiar. They are usually not lavish spenders, except with the home or family, and tend to buy inexpensive items. They also tend to be big savers.
They enjoy a creative response to life, and have a deep desire to build and grow something of lasting value, something real. In conjunction with the Moon, Cancer rules all growing and changing in life, through natural cycles, shifting tides, which find an outlet in rituals and brooding--anything that connects the present to the past, and marks a new beginning.
That's my sign. Just so this post doesn't get too full, I'll post more about other signs later on.
~'Don't tell me sky is the limit when there's foot prints on the moon.'~
Edit//More quotes. Because quotes are awesome.
Lost time is never found again.
--Benjamin Franklin--
It's not what you look at that matters, it's what you see.
--Henry David Thoureau--
It's choice - not chance - that determines your destiny.
--Jean Nidetch--
Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn't do then by the ones you did. So, throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
--Mark Twain--