On safe spaces

[eruthros]

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Comments

[eruthros]

Yes re: shutting up -- I have been thinking about ways I can respect other people's safe spaces on the internet, and I think that it mostly comes down to shutting the hell up and listening, and not saying things that people as me not to say. :)

Thanks for your thoughts!

[aelfgyfu_mead]

Shutting up and listening is pretty much what I've been doing, too.

I've been thinking about safe space in terms of the classroom, which I find even more difficult; no classroom is truly safe, because nobody really gets to choose who is in it. I'm aiming for a safer classroom--and I still have a lot of work ahead of me.

Thanks for posting on the topic. It's very much on my mind lately.

[anatsuno]

I used to Not Get the very concept of safe space, I think - I come from a very.. egalitarian background, let's say. But I've come around to it, and I think it's a crucial concept, now. Your articulate post is very illuminating. Thank you. I would hope that these thoughts can help some failboat people learn something new, but alas I have the feeling they won't even be reading.

[eruthros]

I'm glad you found this helpful!

[the_drifter]

This is a really great post, and a really great articulation of what it takes to actually create a safe space, including accepting that different kinds of exclusion may need to occur to keep the space safe

[eruthros]

I'm also uncomfortable, and trying to think though my discomfort, with the way in which some safe spaces do seem to require what you are describing as identity-based boundary-drawing, but I think I would be talking more about identity-politics when I described my discomfort; not the exclusion itself, but the requiring-all-to-identify. I will have to think this through more, but I feel there are two connected but separable issues there.

But I imagine that I have a somewhat different feeling about safe spaces generally, because aside from Take Back the Night, all of the safe spaces to which I've been invited have included allies -- when I think about excluding people, I'm usually thinking about excluding [argumentative guy who learns eventually but will derail conversation] and including [cool ally guy].

[the_drifter]

But I imagine that I have a somewhat different feeling about safe spaces generally, because aside from Take Back the Night, all of the safe spaces to which I've been invited have included allies --

Yeah, those kind of spaces -- not the "you must be this tall to ride this ride," but "you must agree not to act violently or otherwise like an asshole" -- are a totally different kettle of fish. I think spaces where all people agree to behave in a manner that makes everyone else feel safe, plus preserve the safety of the space in how they talk about it on the outside, are vital.

[cathexys]

This is really hard and really important. I think about that a lot, especially with your first example, because sometimes the right reaction is to just accept that you should be there...and that's not a personal attack as much as it simply means you support by being OK with that.

Eh...yes. :) What you said.

[illariy]

here via random lj link hopping 'round RaceFail '09 and most directly via thingswithwings

Thank you for laying it out so clearly and eloquently. It clarified a lot of things that had been vaguely going around in my head. *memories*