On safe spaces

[eruthros]

This post has moved to dreamwidth.

Comments

[mattador]

Thank you for making this post. It clarified a few things I hadn't understood clearly before.

[xavie]

Thank you for this comprehensive post! I've been thinking a while about what I could possible add to this, but maybe this: PoC is not PoC, women is not women, and queer is not queer.

I had this experience when I first joined the gay&lesbian center in my town and met people who all felt that they were being in a safe place. Back at that time I wasn't very clear about my sexual orientation and wasn't even sure if wanted to decide at all. But everyone around me seemed to be well settled and talking about how they'd known at the age of 12 how they would be a happy gay or lesbian for the rest of their lives. That made that supposedly safe place an uncomfortable place for me, and I still feel uncomofortable there sometimes.

I think I have taught the people at the center a little in the meantime - I managed to make the place safer and more comfortable for me.

[eruthros]

You're absolutely right -- as I said to the_drifter above, my safe spaces have always included allies, and have been more particular than "all people in [category x] are allowed." I define safe spaces for myself as spaces where everyone feels comfortable, which may not include some official "safe spaces."

[stephiepenguin]

great post.

[browngirl]

Oh, well and excellently said.

[redbyrd_sgfic]

Thanks for this- it's a good explanation, and helpful in terms of explaining how the well-intentioned can express support in a way that is actually, well, supportive.