Y -Insert One of Kris' Snarky Comments Here-
Titre: Y -Insert One of Kris' Snarky Comments Here-
Auteur: Erwilde
Beta: kimmdee
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Crack (don't judge me I WAS TIRED) / Fantasy.
Pairing: TaoRis
Summary: Where Lay is a sassy gay unicorn, Kris a snarky little bitch with an obsession for Lay's butt well-being, and Zi Tao knew he should have stayed at home.
Y -insert one of Kris' snarky comment here-
Zi Tao was walking in the woods, wandering without any aim, really, when he heard what he guessed were branches and dead leaves crackling, alerting him to something or someone not necessarily friendly, moving nearby. He halted the very second the noise reached his ears, and held still as he strained to hear any other sounds that might come his way. He was tense on his feet and ready to flee, if he had to, when he recognized the specific sound of hooves on rock, a frown appearing on his confused face. He was not informed that horses were living in these woods - actually, he was pretty sure that no horse lived in these woods. Maybe this one had escaped and gotten lost?
The fact that it was Autumn and the ground was carpeted with a sea of dead leaves was not very favourable, as it made it even more difficult for Zi Tao to subtly edge towards the source of the sounds. He winced when he had to crouch behind a bush and stupidly scratched his bare arm against a thorn, slowly inhaling through his nostrils to stay as quiet as possible, before he cast a glance above said bush, widening his eyes as he did so.
It definitely was a horse. And a beautiful one at that, the creature emitting a powerful aura, solemn and wild at the same time Zi Tao caught himself staring at the animal's jet black mane practically shining under the few rays of sun cutting through the trees' dense foliage. The wild horse was apparently eating what little it was finding between the dead matter covering the ground, however he couldn't actually be sure of anything since he was positioned behind it; for all he knew it could have well been eating little rabbits. He shivered at the thought.
Unfortunately it seemed that curiosity really killed the cat, or at least what little discretion he may have had, when he decided to test his luck by trying to shift even closer and failed miserably, one of his feet treading on something that cracked horribly loudly in the smooth silence.
The sound echoed throughout the woods as if all hell had broken loose, making Zi Tao wince. And promptly let a shriek out when the creature swiftly jerked its head up, suddenly alert of his surroundings, eyes darting everywhere while paradoxically not moving a single muscle.
Because what jerked up was not a horse's muscular neck and head, but a freakin' human head and torso.
“What do you think you're doing?” a deep yet cool voice inquired from behind him, without any warning. Zi Tao spun around, his heart hammering away as his eyes widened at the sight of a very human and handsome face. Whose eyelids slowly blinked. Vertically.
Zi Tao stammered something no way near coherent while haphazardly stepping back, arms reaching out for an unknown reason -surely pure reflex- and breath alarmingly quickening, before falling butt first into the bush he was supposedly hiding behind. Needless to say he was scared beyond his wits when the 'man' who had startled him bent down, reptilian-like pupils coldly analysing him from head to toe. A smirk broke the man’s expressionless façade then, sending shudders down Zi Tao's spine, and he really thought, at that point, that he could define the outline of particularly sharp teeth.
“Kris, stop trying to scare the poor child, he did nothing wrong”, a soft voice spoke from behind Zi Tao, again, though according to the sound of hooves clopping on rock, it was the horse look-alike one this time. And damn was that voice more calming than the blonde’s icy one. However that didn't stop the young man from being totally creeped out.
“If by 'nothing wrong' you mean casually checking out your fabulous ass in all your naked-horse glory without you knowing it, then okay, you're right”, Kris retorted nonchalantly while cocking what could be taken as an amused - and perfect- eyebrow (but Zi Tao was not fooled, not willing to trust appearances and be eaten alive by a human lizard).
An awkward silence fell upon them after Kris' voice had died out as Zi Tao frowned at the comment, clueless, before a forced cough from the half-horse man dissipated it a bit after a few seconds. The reptilian man only snorted sarcastically while rolling his eyes, apparently exasperated by something - or someone in that case- before pinching his nose and inhaling deeply, finally straightening up and moving out of Zi Tao's precious personal space. Despite the cold behaviour (and the coldness of reptilian creatures in general), the young man absent-mindedly noticed Kris had a rather hot breath. But that was not the point.
“Come on Lay, time to shove off”, Kris finally popped the embarrassing bubble, already making his way toward the other creature by navigating half the distance with his incredibly long and slender legs in one step.
“But I'm not done eating!” Lay protested, apparently outraged beyond belief that his time eating whatever magical stuff centaurs eat was cut short.
“Yes exactly, you are not done while I am still starving”, the taller man bit back. “So if you don't want me to take a piece of that rear you're so proud of, I suggest we keep going and find some meat to grill. And some of those fancy flowers you can't stop wolfing down. You'll get fat, I'm telling you.”
“Ow no you didn't.” So much for the 'solemn and wild' aura; more like 'sparkling and sassy'.
Okay so maybe not centaurs but rather unicorns, Zi Tao, corrected himself while silently witnessing a very pink horn slowly appear out of nowhere on Lay’s forehead. That was creased because of a frown. Directed at Kris, making Zi Tao inwardly gloat over it. And then the two of them were bickering like an old married couple, the young man deciding to take it as his cue to leave, slyly trying to get up while they weren’t paying attention to him, only to let out another shriek, this one surprisingly high-pitched, as a freakin' blazing fire burnt everything in his path before slowly dying down as if it had never been there.
“Oh, I missed. Must be out of practice.”
Zi Tao pulled on a horrified face while slowly turning on his heels, eyes practically popping out of their sockets as he stared at the pair of totally insane creatures, one wearing a smug smile while the other seemed as shocked as the poor young man.
“What the hell Kris, you don't even eat humans!” Lay rightfully yelled at Kris, his naturally pouty lips forming a disgusted wince while stamping his hooves on the rocks and dead leaves (and whatever flowers he fancied).
Kris merely shrugged, glancing at the young man from the corner of his eyes. “There's a first time for everything.”
A puff of smoke escaped his lips, the furious blinking Zi Tao apparently amusing him greatly. He then went back to where he first was, once again invading the poor man's personal space, and then sniffed him out, his face inches away from Zi Tao's, while the latter fidgeted uncomfortably, trying very hard not to look too weirded out or simply freaked out. He hoped the taller man wouldn't think that blowing fire that close would be an interesting way to test his aim. With that scenario replaying in his head, Zi Tao finally chose to just squint his eyes shut and swallowed hard, trying to think about agreeable things like little kittens, puppies, pandas, unicorns and- no, not unicorns. Rewind and try again.
“Although you do smell good, for a human.” Zi Tao felt the hot puffs of air against his cheek more than he heard the words as he batted his short eyelashes and swallowed with difficulty, ill at ease. He opened his eyes, once again frowning. And then he wished he hadn't when he was met with these strangely predatory pupils intently staring at him. And with a close up.
“Stop making him blush dammit. And after you'll complain about how everyone thinks dragons are spawns of hell or I don't know what other fantasies humans come up with”, Lay huffed, crossing his arms on his chest and glaring at the dragon -okay everything is alright, legit dragon here, okay, he had imagined them more imposing anyway, nothing to be scared about except- woah legit fire escaping his nostrils too.
Zi Tao felt like sobbing and didn't care if he was being gross or not, snot be damned. The young man was so lost in his thoughts, imagining himself drowning in a puddle of his own tears while the two creatures would be laughing their ass off, that he didn't even notice what was going on outside of his little scene, only snapping out of his daze when he felt warm fingers gently grabbing his chin. And tilting it up, making him look into Kris' eyes once again and the action unconsciously blocked the air in his lungs, Zi Tao gulping back any sarcastic or really misplaced comments he had made up in his mind, simultaneously hoping they couldn't read his thoughts.
“Well, I wouldn't mind getting a taste though”, was all the dragon said before darting his tongue out and licking Zi Tao's lips, slowly, taking his time tracing their lines and teasingly pushing a bit between them, before finally taking the young man's bottom lip between his teeth to lightly nip at it, and letting it go while still slightly sucking on it. “And a little more, maybe? Next time?”
Zi Tao couldn't find it in himself to come up with a plausible answer, and it wouldn't have been credible with his reddened cheeks and hammering pulse anyway, so he just did the only thing he could with his dumbfounded brain: stare and blink. Kris winked playfully while emitting a sound that really sounded like a laugh (but Zi Tao highly doubted it, since it was settled in his mind that Kris + laugh = sound from the deepest depths of hell, which was not as low and pleasing to the ears as what he had just heard) before dashing off to an equally shock-stricken unicorn and swiftly jumping on his back.
“We're off, move that ass Lay you need muscles.”
Zi Tao just stayed frozen on his spot for about ten minutes after their departure, thinking.
What. The. Actual. Fuck.
Auteur: Erwilde
Beta: kimmdee
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Crack (don't judge me I WAS TIRED) / Fantasy.
Pairing: TaoRis
Summary: Where Lay is a sassy gay unicorn, Kris a snarky little bitch with an obsession for Lay's butt well-being, and Zi Tao knew he should have stayed at home.
Y -insert one of Kris' snarky comment here-
Zi Tao was walking in the woods, wandering without any aim, really, when he heard what he guessed were branches and dead leaves crackling, alerting him to something or someone not necessarily friendly, moving nearby. He halted the very second the noise reached his ears, and held still as he strained to hear any other sounds that might come his way. He was tense on his feet and ready to flee, if he had to, when he recognized the specific sound of hooves on rock, a frown appearing on his confused face. He was not informed that horses were living in these woods - actually, he was pretty sure that no horse lived in these woods. Maybe this one had escaped and gotten lost?
The fact that it was Autumn and the ground was carpeted with a sea of dead leaves was not very favourable, as it made it even more difficult for Zi Tao to subtly edge towards the source of the sounds. He winced when he had to crouch behind a bush and stupidly scratched his bare arm against a thorn, slowly inhaling through his nostrils to stay as quiet as possible, before he cast a glance above said bush, widening his eyes as he did so.
It definitely was a horse. And a beautiful one at that, the creature emitting a powerful aura, solemn and wild at the same time Zi Tao caught himself staring at the animal's jet black mane practically shining under the few rays of sun cutting through the trees' dense foliage. The wild horse was apparently eating what little it was finding between the dead matter covering the ground, however he couldn't actually be sure of anything since he was positioned behind it; for all he knew it could have well been eating little rabbits. He shivered at the thought.
Unfortunately it seemed that curiosity really killed the cat, or at least what little discretion he may have had, when he decided to test his luck by trying to shift even closer and failed miserably, one of his feet treading on something that cracked horribly loudly in the smooth silence.
The sound echoed throughout the woods as if all hell had broken loose, making Zi Tao wince. And promptly let a shriek out when the creature swiftly jerked its head up, suddenly alert of his surroundings, eyes darting everywhere while paradoxically not moving a single muscle.
Because what jerked up was not a horse's muscular neck and head, but a freakin' human head and torso.
“What do you think you're doing?” a deep yet cool voice inquired from behind him, without any warning. Zi Tao spun around, his heart hammering away as his eyes widened at the sight of a very human and handsome face. Whose eyelids slowly blinked. Vertically.
Zi Tao stammered something no way near coherent while haphazardly stepping back, arms reaching out for an unknown reason -surely pure reflex- and breath alarmingly quickening, before falling butt first into the bush he was supposedly hiding behind. Needless to say he was scared beyond his wits when the 'man' who had startled him bent down, reptilian-like pupils coldly analysing him from head to toe. A smirk broke the man’s expressionless façade then, sending shudders down Zi Tao's spine, and he really thought, at that point, that he could define the outline of particularly sharp teeth.
“Kris, stop trying to scare the poor child, he did nothing wrong”, a soft voice spoke from behind Zi Tao, again, though according to the sound of hooves clopping on rock, it was the horse look-alike one this time. And damn was that voice more calming than the blonde’s icy one. However that didn't stop the young man from being totally creeped out.
“If by 'nothing wrong' you mean casually checking out your fabulous ass in all your naked-horse glory without you knowing it, then okay, you're right”, Kris retorted nonchalantly while cocking what could be taken as an amused - and perfect- eyebrow (but Zi Tao was not fooled, not willing to trust appearances and be eaten alive by a human lizard).
An awkward silence fell upon them after Kris' voice had died out as Zi Tao frowned at the comment, clueless, before a forced cough from the half-horse man dissipated it a bit after a few seconds. The reptilian man only snorted sarcastically while rolling his eyes, apparently exasperated by something - or someone in that case- before pinching his nose and inhaling deeply, finally straightening up and moving out of Zi Tao's precious personal space. Despite the cold behaviour (and the coldness of reptilian creatures in general), the young man absent-mindedly noticed Kris had a rather hot breath. But that was not the point.
“Come on Lay, time to shove off”, Kris finally popped the embarrassing bubble, already making his way toward the other creature by navigating half the distance with his incredibly long and slender legs in one step.
“But I'm not done eating!” Lay protested, apparently outraged beyond belief that his time eating whatever magical stuff centaurs eat was cut short.
“Yes exactly, you are not done while I am still starving”, the taller man bit back. “So if you don't want me to take a piece of that rear you're so proud of, I suggest we keep going and find some meat to grill. And some of those fancy flowers you can't stop wolfing down. You'll get fat, I'm telling you.”
“Ow no you didn't.” So much for the 'solemn and wild' aura; more like 'sparkling and sassy'.
Okay so maybe not centaurs but rather unicorns, Zi Tao, corrected himself while silently witnessing a very pink horn slowly appear out of nowhere on Lay’s forehead. That was creased because of a frown. Directed at Kris, making Zi Tao inwardly gloat over it. And then the two of them were bickering like an old married couple, the young man deciding to take it as his cue to leave, slyly trying to get up while they weren’t paying attention to him, only to let out another shriek, this one surprisingly high-pitched, as a freakin' blazing fire burnt everything in his path before slowly dying down as if it had never been there.
“Oh, I missed. Must be out of practice.”
Zi Tao pulled on a horrified face while slowly turning on his heels, eyes practically popping out of their sockets as he stared at the pair of totally insane creatures, one wearing a smug smile while the other seemed as shocked as the poor young man.
“What the hell Kris, you don't even eat humans!” Lay rightfully yelled at Kris, his naturally pouty lips forming a disgusted wince while stamping his hooves on the rocks and dead leaves (and whatever flowers he fancied).
Kris merely shrugged, glancing at the young man from the corner of his eyes. “There's a first time for everything.”
A puff of smoke escaped his lips, the furious blinking Zi Tao apparently amusing him greatly. He then went back to where he first was, once again invading the poor man's personal space, and then sniffed him out, his face inches away from Zi Tao's, while the latter fidgeted uncomfortably, trying very hard not to look too weirded out or simply freaked out. He hoped the taller man wouldn't think that blowing fire that close would be an interesting way to test his aim. With that scenario replaying in his head, Zi Tao finally chose to just squint his eyes shut and swallowed hard, trying to think about agreeable things like little kittens, puppies, pandas, unicorns and- no, not unicorns. Rewind and try again.
“Although you do smell good, for a human.” Zi Tao felt the hot puffs of air against his cheek more than he heard the words as he batted his short eyelashes and swallowed with difficulty, ill at ease. He opened his eyes, once again frowning. And then he wished he hadn't when he was met with these strangely predatory pupils intently staring at him. And with a close up.
“Stop making him blush dammit. And after you'll complain about how everyone thinks dragons are spawns of hell or I don't know what other fantasies humans come up with”, Lay huffed, crossing his arms on his chest and glaring at the dragon -okay everything is alright, legit dragon here, okay, he had imagined them more imposing anyway, nothing to be scared about except- woah legit fire escaping his nostrils too.
Zi Tao felt like sobbing and didn't care if he was being gross or not, snot be damned. The young man was so lost in his thoughts, imagining himself drowning in a puddle of his own tears while the two creatures would be laughing their ass off, that he didn't even notice what was going on outside of his little scene, only snapping out of his daze when he felt warm fingers gently grabbing his chin. And tilting it up, making him look into Kris' eyes once again and the action unconsciously blocked the air in his lungs, Zi Tao gulping back any sarcastic or really misplaced comments he had made up in his mind, simultaneously hoping they couldn't read his thoughts.
“Well, I wouldn't mind getting a taste though”, was all the dragon said before darting his tongue out and licking Zi Tao's lips, slowly, taking his time tracing their lines and teasingly pushing a bit between them, before finally taking the young man's bottom lip between his teeth to lightly nip at it, and letting it go while still slightly sucking on it. “And a little more, maybe? Next time?”
Zi Tao couldn't find it in himself to come up with a plausible answer, and it wouldn't have been credible with his reddened cheeks and hammering pulse anyway, so he just did the only thing he could with his dumbfounded brain: stare and blink. Kris winked playfully while emitting a sound that really sounded like a laugh (but Zi Tao highly doubted it, since it was settled in his mind that Kris + laugh = sound from the deepest depths of hell, which was not as low and pleasing to the ears as what he had just heard) before dashing off to an equally shock-stricken unicorn and swiftly jumping on his back.
“We're off, move that ass Lay you need muscles.”
Zi Tao just stayed frozen on his spot for about ten minutes after their departure, thinking.
What. The. Actual. Fuck.