you are the baby in the barn

[erzulie_eardrum]

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trout fishing in alaska

[erzulie_eardrum]

Nicholas's particular academic specialism was in the behaviour of fish in currents. A 2004 paper explored why larger fish swim upstream in the turbulence of midstream rather than in the quieter waters near the banks: "Large fish swim further from the bank to avoid wave drag, the resistance associated with the generation of surface waves when swimming close to the surface," he wrote

&
daddy...

[frumiousb]

and he was, poor mite.

not a very warm welcome...

[erzulie_eardrum]

{his eyes] “Became wet jewels,/ The hardest substance of the purest pain/ As I fed him in his high white chair”.~ Ted Hughes

and then what happened with his step-mom and step-sister was incomprehensible...

1 yr olds process the loss of a primary care giver in a unique way, to say the least--but they can be resilient, given the right care--but to possess no memory of one's bio-mom beyond the second-hand memories & constructs of others and the awareness that she took her own life, is rough...at some point he must have looked at the above picture and tried to conceive the inconceivable...

the psycho-bio-social inter-generational complexity of that family is almost too difficult to penetrate...it's hard to distinguish what was nature & what was nurture--but nick seemed to get the worst of both to some degree--yet, with strength, resilience & distance, he survived and prospered for a considerable amount of time...until.