(no subject)
Why do Mondays put me in such a shitty mood? I am bored nearly comatose, and I hate most of the world. I am not a huge fan of myself right now, and this is a pretty common Monday thing.
#19: accept loss forever
The great thing about feeling so shitty is, I sleep a lot now. I haven't been able to sleep through the night just yet, I usually wake up around 1 or 2 and pull the old "where the hell am I" bit, but after awhile I'm fine and fall back asleep for another 6 or 7 hours.
I have myself pretty much psyched out of this particular job that I'm sitting at home waiting by the phone to hear from. I just found out I'm not actually covered by my mother's insurance, so I need to come up with about $1600 to cover the work I've just had started before they can finish it. At this point I should mention that my mouth is pretty infected and sore. I should also mention that I've spent my modest savings and I am now looking at an even larger mountain of debt than I was before.
I've been home for three months now. I've been trying to find a job since before then, and I still have nothing.
Does it make sense why I might be a little frustrated? Because, y'know, being frustrated like this makes me even more frustrated.
I have the house to myself for a bit, and that's nice. I get to have a little fit for myself, and maybe I'll fall asleep afterward, and maybe I'll be ok then. I can't even finish whining. There's so much in my stupid head right now and I can't force it out. I can't even remember exactly why I feel like shit, just that I do. Maybe I don't need an excuse anymore.
#19: accept loss forever
The great thing about feeling so shitty is, I sleep a lot now. I haven't been able to sleep through the night just yet, I usually wake up around 1 or 2 and pull the old "where the hell am I" bit, but after awhile I'm fine and fall back asleep for another 6 or 7 hours.
I have myself pretty much psyched out of this particular job that I'm sitting at home waiting by the phone to hear from. I just found out I'm not actually covered by my mother's insurance, so I need to come up with about $1600 to cover the work I've just had started before they can finish it. At this point I should mention that my mouth is pretty infected and sore. I should also mention that I've spent my modest savings and I am now looking at an even larger mountain of debt than I was before.
I've been home for three months now. I've been trying to find a job since before then, and I still have nothing.
Does it make sense why I might be a little frustrated? Because, y'know, being frustrated like this makes me even more frustrated.
I have the house to myself for a bit, and that's nice. I get to have a little fit for myself, and maybe I'll fall asleep afterward, and maybe I'll be ok then. I can't even finish whining. There's so much in my stupid head right now and I can't force it out. I can't even remember exactly why I feel like shit, just that I do. Maybe I don't need an excuse anymore.