i'm super tired, but i don't really feel like sleeping. i have a lot on my mind. plus i like the feeling of being awake at night-- it's so intimate? free? i like it.

i'm going world wide web-- visually

how i wish
how i wish you were here
we're just two lost souls swimming in a fish bowl
year after year
running over the same old ground
what have we found
the same old fears
wish you were here

So I guess that pure exhaustion and mental/physical mushiness I felt was actually my body's way of telling me I was sick. I tried going to school on Wednesday, but I had to go home after second block. I guess all the skiing and late nights and zero relaxation was just adding to my weakened immune system. So I took some NyQuil and was knocked out ( Read more... )

ahhhh how can i have so much work to do? it's not as if it ends when i get home. no, it cuts into something as basic as sleeping. and i don't understand how i could be this tired when it's only 11:30-ish. i just wish i could focus better. my mind is too dull and soft right now.

things i want to do (in the immediate future ( Read more... )

so i totally don't have time to write everything that i want to write. but it's all good. and i might actually get around to it. (reminders to self: camp, life, sociology, music, blah i don't remember.)

definitely doesn't feel like a new year. i am, however, feeling slightly revolutionized internally (by looking into the past, ironically enough). so i think this year will be a good one ( Read more... )

so i did end up at dad's, but i came with an open mind after the initial fight i put up. we played taboo and shmear (sp?) and it was actually very hilarious, and i had a good time. and now it's 2005, but i'm still quite exhausted from being at camp and emotional wear and tear and being awake and you know. so i'm not feeling overly poetic or clever ( Read more... )

okay, so i'm feeling a little bit more in tune with the "real world" now. though i'm still not very happy about it. everything here is about how i left it, and that seems strikingly unfitting. for how monumentally different and sudden and meaningful my last four days were, it's as if the life that i left should be changed so that it would fit ( Read more... )