"When he really helped me was when I was going through this really depressed period where I felt like I was 80 years old, there was nothing I could ever do again and life was over for me. I was of no use to anybody. It wasn't as though I was suicidal, but I was at the point where I thought, Couldn't I please just have cancer and die? And that's ( Read more... )

I have wattched the show two times now and have to say bullshit.

VOTE!

so another year today. it doesn't feel like it, feells like i could call up right now and have his voice in my ear. talking about the goinng on's of everyday life and planning when we are going to see each other again. talking about life to come even when itt didn't seem as though i'd have a life to share with him and thhen it was reverssed and he ( Read more... )

tired is the word, been like that for awhile and it's not gettingg much better so might as well kick it in the butt keep goingg and be tireed doing ( Read more... )

almost recovered from thhe week long christmas activities and now comes the new year. made it to most of christmas eve service left early, but was able to see the awesome candle/ muusic thing they have going on which i just simply love. christmas day i fell asleep with my neice and although i missed most of bingo my sister played for me. 30$!

as i ( Read more... )

extremely tired and not withstanding lately, but still feeling eh good. sent dad for mom and sister gift, sent sister for dad and bro-law gift, and neice gifts. sent mom and dad for gma, aunt and uncle and cousin gifts, and sister backed the rest of the other stuff on my list including forgetting stuff and running to get gift cardy things ( Read more... )

it's funny how i quit talking hereand about everywhere. i'm at a lost for words and it seems that my head is very empty cause it really doesn't have much to say. yet, mentally i'm on as top of the game as possible, emotionally and physically may be a different story, but the pow-wow that has taken place has rested for the holiday season and the ( Read more... )

i found something i wrote after #1. odd how it seems so long ago, how i was wondering if i would see 25 and yet at 23 and 9 months i still wonder.truthfully, i am afraid of living each day i case i lose it all and at the same time i'm holding on to life so tight i'm afraid i am suffocating it ( Read more... )

sweet november. it's the movie i was trying to think about for about a year now. recall time is just great these days.

tears aree in my eyes forr the things my mind is thinking but i can nnot put into words.

i'm lost right now. hence the quietness.