i had the best dream last night.
it felt soo real, and soo possible
even tho there were concequenes,
and the judgments of everyone..
it was perfect. I was happy.
everything had fallen into place.

but i eventually woke up..
came back to what my life is
and the reality of regret.

i feel soo empty and out of love

i was in the car last night and kept asking ( Read more... )

I'm on the outside, looking in
What do I see?
So much of this left to begin
Where would I be?
I'm on the outside, looking in
Cover me through this night

Guess I don't know what's, left to say
But hear me out
All of the dreams of, yesterday
Keep breaking me down
What's on the outside, can you say
Or am I getting carried away

It's in your mind
It's ( Read more... )

everyone makes mistakes. We all make bad decisions
We all lie. Whether to protect ourselves, 
or to protect someone we care about.
Either way.. I lie is told at some point or another.
Some lies just hurt more than others.
And some people have a lot to hide.

the past is not irrelevant.
it shapes who you are now.
the past is in the past.. 
but is always ( Read more... )

why does everything go wrong in my life
when i'm feeling soo good.

why did i have to be the one crying
after feeling soo great

i haven't gotten a break in a long time.
why can't i just be happy??
why can't my life just be easy for once?
why do I constantly have to get hurt?
why does my heart keep breaking?
when is it finally going to be enough?

I wondered ( Read more... )

"Heaven forbid you end up alone, and don't know why. 
Hold on tight, wait for tomorrow. You'll be alright"

last night was fun. I had the most amazing conversations with John, Matt, and Justin.
Justin was mostly quiet. but thats okay. Being overly emmotional isn't what everyone wants to do.
The conversation lasted until 4 in the morning. It was soo ( Read more... )

Nothin to do...
I finished babysitting.
I need a haircut..maybe just a trim
and to lose weight. but I can't work out for a month.
I already tried.. and I can feel the pain now. I hate mono

I can't tell if my parents are being nicer..
ot just avoiding me

I hate when things take my by surprise.
it makes me feel frantic & scared
sometimes I cry when I'm scared ( Read more... )

I know this will all come out immature. but I'm okay with that...

I refuse to forgive my parents for the double standard they have put on me my entire life. I refuse to forgive them for the hurtful things they've said to me. I refuse to forgive them for the physical abuse and emotional abuse they put me through. I refuse to forgive them for the ( Read more... )

"When you finally get over someone you find a special place in your heart to keep them, no matter what happened in the past. You'll always think of them and smile even if you don't have the best memories. You'll sort of forget certain incidents that made you feel so bad and you won't hurt anymore, but you'll still remember the way it felt when you ( Read more... )

I haven't written in this thing in forever. so much has changed since the last time I did. I've changed so much since I lost wrote. too much to explain. But I'm for the most part happy where my life is right now. I'm alone ((relationship wise)). and I've accepted it.  I'm okay with the person I have come to grow to be. My mistakes, regrets, and ( Read more... )

You say we’re just friends
We're playing pretend to keep me here

( I think about the things you said )