Myshuno! 2014 Prompt: "Hairball Hell" (289 words)
The prompt for this story was “‘Hairball Hell,” submitted by animeangel1983. This story fits into the current chapter of Cecil’s CCL. There are no spoilers.
Rating: RG (for Really Gross)
Dramatis Personae
Cecil Shankel, cat lover
Allyn Shankel, cat lover (and Cecil’s wife)
Atropos, a cat
Clotho, Lachesis, Boomer, and Andy, more cats
Setting
The living room of Ceil and Allyn’s home. Cecil has just come in from a session of yard work.
CECIL (calls): Hey Allyn, have you seen - ?
(Cecil looks down at what he just stepped in)
CECIL: What’s this? (looks at the bottom of his foot) Oh no… (calls, more frantically) Allyn?
ALLYN (calls, sounding harried): I’m upstairs!
(Cecil pounds up the stairs, much distressed)
CECIL: Allyn, there’s a great big hairball right in the middle of the living room fl - (surveys the room) Dear Esme, what HAPPENED?
ALLYN (pointing): That, that, and that are from when Boomer got into the cat food. That, that, and that over there are ordinary hairballs from Clotho, Andy, and Lachesis. You know how they tend to get hairballs at the same time. The rest…
(There is a truly vile and prolonged retching and regurgitation noise from under the bed)
ALLYN: I cleaned out my hairbrush today. And I threw all the nasty matted clumps of hair in the garbage can.
(The noise under the bed stops for a moment, and then resumes, more wetly)
ALLYN: And Atropos ate them. All of them. And now he’s got hairballs. Only human hair is much longer than cat hair, so the hairballs are bigger and more, um, connected.
CECIL: Oh, poor Atropos! What can we do?
ALLYN: I recommend military-grade earplugs.
CECIL: But how can that possibly help the poor kitty?!
ALLYN: The only thing we can do for Atropos is to clean up after him while he gets it al up.
(A retching noise surpassing all the previous retching noises in volume, duration, and viscosity comes from under the bed)
CECIL: Do you think the army surplus store - ?
ALLYN: They’re open til six.
Rating: RG (for Really Gross)
Dramatis Personae
Cecil Shankel, cat lover
Allyn Shankel, cat lover (and Cecil’s wife)
Atropos, a cat
Clotho, Lachesis, Boomer, and Andy, more cats
Setting
The living room of Ceil and Allyn’s home. Cecil has just come in from a session of yard work.
CECIL (calls): Hey Allyn, have you seen - ?
(Cecil looks down at what he just stepped in)
CECIL: What’s this? (looks at the bottom of his foot) Oh no… (calls, more frantically) Allyn?
ALLYN (calls, sounding harried): I’m upstairs!
(Cecil pounds up the stairs, much distressed)
CECIL: Allyn, there’s a great big hairball right in the middle of the living room fl - (surveys the room) Dear Esme, what HAPPENED?
ALLYN (pointing): That, that, and that are from when Boomer got into the cat food. That, that, and that over there are ordinary hairballs from Clotho, Andy, and Lachesis. You know how they tend to get hairballs at the same time. The rest…
(There is a truly vile and prolonged retching and regurgitation noise from under the bed)
ALLYN: I cleaned out my hairbrush today. And I threw all the nasty matted clumps of hair in the garbage can.
(The noise under the bed stops for a moment, and then resumes, more wetly)
ALLYN: And Atropos ate them. All of them. And now he’s got hairballs. Only human hair is much longer than cat hair, so the hairballs are bigger and more, um, connected.
CECIL: Oh, poor Atropos! What can we do?
ALLYN: I recommend military-grade earplugs.
CECIL: But how can that possibly help the poor kitty?!
ALLYN: The only thing we can do for Atropos is to clean up after him while he gets it al up.
(A retching noise surpassing all the previous retching noises in volume, duration, and viscosity comes from under the bed)
CECIL: Do you think the army surplus store - ?
ALLYN: They’re open til six.