(no subject)
So, um. You know how the Jonas Brothers is the most embarrassing fandom in the history of the world and I should be deeply ashamed of it but I can't be because they are AWESOME and totally in love with each other and anyone who can't see that HAS NO SOUL? No, really. LOOK AT THEM BEING IN LOVE LOOK:
ANYWAY. It turns out I do still have the capacity for shame, because I'm found a fandom I'm actually embarrassed by. Sort of. A little bit. Okay, maybe not so much, because it is AWESOME and everyone in the world should be in it. JUST LIKE THE JOBROS. Ahem. I am talking, of course, about JOHNNY FUCKING WEIR.
Let's talk a little bit about why should all love him, okay? First off, he's adorable. No, really. He's adorable on a level of adorability that the world had never known. And pretty. And HOT. And AWESOME. You don't have to take my word for it. Just LOOK at him:
He poses for photoshoots like this:
And this:
And this:
He designs his own costumes, which are equal parts odd and AWESOME:
And he donned a crown of roses while he was waiting for his free program score at the 2010 Olympics (he was ROBBED, but that is a subject for another post):
He cuddles with other figure skaters:
And dances with them:
And does gorgeous throw jumps with them:
He and Kelly Osbourne were officially the cutest couple at the Oscars:
He went on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me and was so ridiculously adorkable words cannot adequately convey it:WWDTM: “So we made some jokes about figure skating…”
JW: “Why?”
WWDTM: “Well, because most of us don’t get dressed up in fantastical costumes and do pirouettes.”
JW: “Well yes, I suppose. But, I mean, just think how amazing that would be to do.”
When people say stupid bullshit about how he's too gay for figure skating and he's ruining the sport and setting a bad example for good, straight little boys everywhere and he should be forced to take a gender test, he is amazing and wonderful and fierce:
"Every little boy should be so lucky as to turn into me." Seriously, how is it possible NOT to love this man? It is NOT. Oh, yeah, and he's also an amazing skater. There are so many things I could link here, but I'm just going to go for Poker Face, because ever if you've already seen it a billion times you still need to see it again, and if you haven't, YOU HAVE NOT YET LIVED:
He has an awesome reality show on the Sundance channel called "Be Good Johnny Weir." Here is the promo:
And here he is showing the camera the heart created by the white spots left on his butt from tanning:
And here he is having sex with a foot massager:
"And I have mounted it" is one of my favorite new phrases. As is "This is a... gooood machine." And "unbridled, passionate, sweaty dirty sex." And "Oh, daddy." I can't decide if this is more embarrassing or ridiculous or hot, but whatever it is, I can't stop watching it over and over again. And blushing. And making other people watch it and watching them blush.
BUT! Woman cannot live by pictures and vids and interviews alone! So there is slash. Slash involving Evan Lysacek! "But, Rachel!" you say. "Isn't Evan that not-overly-bright douchebag who dyes himself orange, doesn't know what a mongoose is, can't appear in public without his medal around his neck, and has made many hypocritical, borderline homophobic statements about Johnny over the years?" And okay, YES. All these things are true. But it is ALSO true that these are all unfortunate symptoms of his insecurity about being in love with Johnny while being the great straight hope of figure skating. He is CONFUSED! And FRIGHTENED! And he needs Johnny to SHOW HIM THE WAY! I know all these things because my metro stop is right by the rink where he practices and WE HAVE A SPECIAL BOND. DO NOT DOUBT ME ON THESE THINGS. Also, um. He was actually pretty cute on Bonnie Hunt yesterday:
And ontd_skating, home of all that is good and green in this world, calls him "Orange Bro" and has tags like heterosexual orange bro seeks same and does ridiculous and hysterical things like this. But he is still a douche--this is undeniable. Thankfully, slash fixes all! Here are some stories you should read (unfortunately most of them are on WIPs on wintergameskink, which means they're anonymous and not compiled neatly into one post, though I have cleverly fixed that for myself by C&Ping them all into a single file): Can't Stand to Stand, by jocondite (2,500 words) - In which Johnny answers Evan's knock in a state of undress and Evan is overwhelmed with strange new feelings.
Any Lawful Impediment (WIP) - In which Johnny and Evan accidentally get gay-married while drunk.
Overexposure (WIP) - In which security footage of Johnny and Evan having hate sex after a competition is leaked to the media.
Rink Rendezvous, by iridescentglow (1,570 words) - In which Johnny decides to tell the press he and Evan are lovers, and Evan is not amused.
Time Off to Reevaluate (WIP) - In which Evan has an identity crisis and Johnny lends a hand.
I dare you to read these, particularly "Any Lawful Impediment" and "Time Off to Reevaluate," and not fall madly in love with them. I DARE YOU. Also, jesus FUCK, this post got long. I was seriously going to post one picture and then recs, but, well. IT'S JOHNNY WEIR. BREVITY IS NOT AN OPTION.
Also, hi! I know I've been seriously invisible for the last few months and honestly, I'm not dead or gone or whatever else. RL has just been... complicated... recently, and fandom had to take a backseat for awhile. I think, or hope, anyway, that I'll be on more now that, again hopefully, things are evening out a bit.
ANYWAY. It turns out I do still have the capacity for shame, because I'm found a fandom I'm actually embarrassed by. Sort of. A little bit. Okay, maybe not so much, because it is AWESOME and everyone in the world should be in it. JUST LIKE THE JOBROS. Ahem. I am talking, of course, about JOHNNY FUCKING WEIR.
Let's talk a little bit about why should all love him, okay? First off, he's adorable. No, really. He's adorable on a level of adorability that the world had never known. And pretty. And HOT. And AWESOME. You don't have to take my word for it. Just LOOK at him:
He poses for photoshoots like this:
And this:
And this:
He designs his own costumes, which are equal parts odd and AWESOME:
And he donned a crown of roses while he was waiting for his free program score at the 2010 Olympics (he was ROBBED, but that is a subject for another post):
He cuddles with other figure skaters:
And dances with them:
And does gorgeous throw jumps with them:
Click to viewHe and Kelly Osbourne were officially the cutest couple at the Oscars:
He went on Wait Wait Don't Tell Me and was so ridiculously adorkable words cannot adequately convey it:WWDTM: “So we made some jokes about figure skating…”
JW: “Why?”
WWDTM: “Well, because most of us don’t get dressed up in fantastical costumes and do pirouettes.”
JW: “Well yes, I suppose. But, I mean, just think how amazing that would be to do.”
When people say stupid bullshit about how he's too gay for figure skating and he's ruining the sport and setting a bad example for good, straight little boys everywhere and he should be forced to take a gender test, he is amazing and wonderful and fierce:
"Every little boy should be so lucky as to turn into me." Seriously, how is it possible NOT to love this man? It is NOT. Oh, yeah, and he's also an amazing skater. There are so many things I could link here, but I'm just going to go for Poker Face, because ever if you've already seen it a billion times you still need to see it again, and if you haven't, YOU HAVE NOT YET LIVED:
He has an awesome reality show on the Sundance channel called "Be Good Johnny Weir." Here is the promo:
And here he is showing the camera the heart created by the white spots left on his butt from tanning:
And here he is having sex with a foot massager:
"And I have mounted it" is one of my favorite new phrases. As is "This is a... gooood machine." And "unbridled, passionate, sweaty dirty sex." And "Oh, daddy." I can't decide if this is more embarrassing or ridiculous or hot, but whatever it is, I can't stop watching it over and over again. And blushing. And making other people watch it and watching them blush.
BUT! Woman cannot live by pictures and vids and interviews alone! So there is slash. Slash involving Evan Lysacek! "But, Rachel!" you say. "Isn't Evan that not-overly-bright douchebag who dyes himself orange, doesn't know what a mongoose is, can't appear in public without his medal around his neck, and has made many hypocritical, borderline homophobic statements about Johnny over the years?" And okay, YES. All these things are true. But it is ALSO true that these are all unfortunate symptoms of his insecurity about being in love with Johnny while being the great straight hope of figure skating. He is CONFUSED! And FRIGHTENED! And he needs Johnny to SHOW HIM THE WAY! I know all these things because my metro stop is right by the rink where he practices and WE HAVE A SPECIAL BOND. DO NOT DOUBT ME ON THESE THINGS. Also, um. He was actually pretty cute on Bonnie Hunt yesterday:
And ontd_skating, home of all that is good and green in this world, calls him "Orange Bro" and has tags like heterosexual orange bro seeks same and does ridiculous and hysterical things like this. But he is still a douche--this is undeniable. Thankfully, slash fixes all! Here are some stories you should read (unfortunately most of them are on WIPs on wintergameskink, which means they're anonymous and not compiled neatly into one post, though I have cleverly fixed that for myself by C&Ping them all into a single file): Can't Stand to Stand, by jocondite (2,500 words) - In which Johnny answers Evan's knock in a state of undress and Evan is overwhelmed with strange new feelings.
Any Lawful Impediment (WIP) - In which Johnny and Evan accidentally get gay-married while drunk.
Overexposure (WIP) - In which security footage of Johnny and Evan having hate sex after a competition is leaked to the media.
Rink Rendezvous, by iridescentglow (1,570 words) - In which Johnny decides to tell the press he and Evan are lovers, and Evan is not amused.
Time Off to Reevaluate (WIP) - In which Evan has an identity crisis and Johnny lends a hand.
I dare you to read these, particularly "Any Lawful Impediment" and "Time Off to Reevaluate," and not fall madly in love with them. I DARE YOU. Also, jesus FUCK, this post got long. I was seriously going to post one picture and then recs, but, well. IT'S JOHNNY WEIR. BREVITY IS NOT AN OPTION.
Also, hi! I know I've been seriously invisible for the last few months and honestly, I'm not dead or gone or whatever else. RL has just been... complicated... recently, and fandom had to take a backseat for awhile. I think, or hope, anyway, that I'll be on more now that, again hopefully, things are evening out a bit.