Comments | esoteric_derek: Remind me to NEVER go to Russia

esoteric_derek

Remind me to NEVER go to Russia

Dec 21, 2005 09:18

It appears that it's the beginning of the end for me.

As many of you know, I am a big fan of squirrels. For those that don't ( Read more... )

Comments 7

severus89 December 21 2005, 06:52:54 UTC

Oh if our American squirrels hear of what the Russian squirrels are doing it's the end for us.

Oh I remember writing your obituary. Do you still have it. It was pretty cool.

esoteric_derek December 21 2005, 09:38:14 UTC

Gee, that was back in my Subprofile days...

But just for you, I went back and found it... but this wasn't the obituary I was talking about above, obviously.

I'm sorry to be the one to have to tell everyone this, but our good friend has died. Derek and I were walking around the woods in Wisconsin on one of Derek's crazy get-rich-quick schemes. He thought he could make Christmas tree ornaments out of pinecones by covering them with peanut butter and then dipping them in either glitter for indoors, or seeds for outside. Well, we were on our hands and knees with sacks on our backs throwing pinecone after pinecone into them when a single squirrel came out of no where, curious about what we were up to. It came right up to Derek with an inquisitive look on its face that said, "why are you taking all these pinecones". I guess Derek didn't appreciate this little squirrel hindering his pinecone acquisition, so he yelled and threw the little squirrel out of his way. The little guy was so angry, he shouted out in squirrelize and within minutes ( ... )

severus89 December 28 2005, 10:18:24 UTC

Ha, awesome. Oh I was going through some of my SNES and Genesis games the other day and I came to one game titles, "The Kamikaze Squirrel" and thought of this.

ajmcoqui December 21 2005, 07:12:09 UTC

How strange! I feel bad for the dog, but must also remark on the balls of those squirrels, going after an enemy about 20 times their size. It's a strange sort of validation for the little guy, really...

crazylady224 December 21 2005, 19:35:23 UTC

The Deadly Black Squirrels of Moscow...and also watch out that you don't get into the Brown Lightning Chipmunk gang in neighboring Poland

I did see a really, enormously fat suirrel today near my apartment. I thought it was funny earlier but now I'm a little frightened.

esoteric_derek December 22 2005, 06:29:13 UTC

You better be on your guard... the fat American ones are lookouts for the gang, since they are so slow during attacks. There could be a faction of the Deadly Black Squirrels right behind your apartment!

Just to be safe, I'd start leaving the squirrels food every night, kinda like the mob and their "protection money". That way when they plot the next attack, they won't even think about you, since you give them food.

Don't even get me started on those Polish Chipmunks... I've heard stories that'll give you nightmares for a month.

badllama123 December 27 2005, 00:16:41 UTC

haha I had a feeling they'd learn the meaning of "revenge" eventually. If people kept running over all my friends, I'd be a little pissed too. Thanks for the heads up though, I'd better stop them before they stop us!

*starts car*