from v in nyc
anonymous
August 1 2005, 18:37:01 UTC
One of the things about being part of a racial majority is that one is taught, both consciously and subconsciously, to see that majority as the "right" or "more desirable" thing
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On the financial issue. Maia went to a preschool where we were the poor people, getting in for that reason. The gap was huge. Everyone was nice to me but it was very false. It was obvious that they saw me as a poor young mom(I was like 22 and they were all in late 30's). We did not go back the following year.
The school they are in now is more financially diverse but there is still a line between the haves and have nots. And it was the same when I was in school because we were the poor kids that wore hand me downs and didn't have anything good to eat.
When it comes to your kids you want the best. At times the best feels like something you are ashamed to want. I came up against this and it wasn't even race it was more class. Not economic but what I considered to be educated. I looked at my area and saw rednecks, close minded people. I did not want my kids to go to that school because I assumed it would be bad.
In the end I was proven wrong and I was ashamed to have made those assumptions. But it was good for me to see that I had things to work on. And to be reminded that there are many factors to people and schools that go beyond colorse, economics and ways of thinking.
Yes-- I have experience being the poor kids of the single mom, both at an expensive private school and at a public school, and I don't want that for my girls. I don't want them to feel the way I did
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Re: from v againesperanzazineAugust 7 2005, 21:01:33 UTC
thanks for this V-- it reminds me not to project my failed ambitions or self-disappointment onto my girls, not to assume that more expensive means better or that richer means smarter. it reminds me not to idealize anything as the perfect golden answer and not to pin al my hopes on a shallow illusion.
these are awful memories, but thanks for sharing them with me as I try to wade through my own mental shit. just another reason why our friendship means so much to me--
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On the financial issue. Maia went to a preschool where we were the poor people, getting in for that reason. The gap was huge. Everyone was nice to me but it was very false. It was obvious that they saw me as a poor young mom(I was like 22 and they were all in late 30's). We did not go back the following year.
The school they are in now is more financially diverse but there is still a line between the haves and have nots. And it was the same when I was in school because we were the poor kids that wore hand me downs and didn't have anything good to eat.
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In the end I was proven wrong and I was ashamed to have made those assumptions. But it was good for me to see that I had things to work on. And to be reminded that there are many factors to people and schools that go beyond colorse, economics and ways of thinking.
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these are awful memories, but thanks for sharing them with me as I try to wade through my own mental shit. just another reason why our friendship means so much to me--
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