Almost There (explanatory summary)
Ian "cheated" on his girlfriend with other men because he thought he could fill the void left with not having Anthony as a lover. He didn't hide it too well because he unconsciously wanted her to find out so she would break it off with him. He grew lazy with trying to hide it, leaving hints and clues until one night after and intense argument over why he was out so late she finally put the pieces together even though she was in denial herself for the longest time. She finally willed herself to confront Ian and the years of pent up emotional abuse he'd given her came out in one big heated fight. When he turned to Anthony for help he was so distraught over how he handled the break-up that he allowed himself to reveal more than he wanted to Anthony, even though it was what he'd desired for the longest time. Lost and confused about how Ian really felt, Anthony allowed himself to accept Ian's refusal to divulge any more about what had happened but deep down he knew Ian was never the same. Ian continued to try to reach out in his own way to him but he turned a blind eye as he remembered what Ian had said to him that night; some things are better left unsaid. Even if it meant pain, guilt and remorse for the rest of their lives.