D.Gray-Man [Whisper of a Soul]
Major spoilers ahead for anyone who hasn't finished the series!!!
Just a random one-shot. I think it's some of my better work in terms of the horror category (not to be self-righteous or anything). Hope someone likes it! (It's also a bit gory, so if you're not into that, sorry. '^^)
D.Gray-Man [Whisper of a Soul]
It feels so strange to have your blood spilt; to watch it pour out of you, while you’re helpless, cold and dying. Really, what does dying feel like?
First you’d feel sad; shocked, even. The one who did the deed - was it someone you loved? If you thought they loved you back, then that’s when you question every motive, every detail, and every scrap of their lives. Were they just using you after all?
The wintry feeling is next; like being in the middle of snowstorm with no jacket, no gear, no way to call for help. Ice covers your veins, your skin, and even your mind turns to snow.
And the cold makes you gag, maybe even spitting up some in your mouth. You feel like that piece of trash in the dumpster that’s always left behind - that no good piece of trash that’s been there for weeks. Your stomach churns, and you probably throw up a little.
Then the pain: oh, that depressing pain. You shudder like a homeless puppy in a storm while your head aches and aches and aches. The ice has burned off now, letting the heat return to your body. But the pain comes, too. It racks at you, wrenching you, twisting you, destroying your every fiber of being.
But is that really all? Is that everything you feel when a lover has killed you?
No.
No, it’s not.
Let’s not forget the soul; the final piece of the equation.
The soul burns. When it knows it’s dying, the soul wants out. When it wants out, the pain is the least of your worries. It starts to whisper to you, begging and pleading to be released from the cage you call a body. While your blood is draining, so is your soul, and that’s the worst feeling anyone can have.
No one could possibly live through that.
Then why was I still breathing? Why was I still conscious? Why were my eyes wide open, beholding the events laid out before me in crystal clear, 20/20 vision?
I’m delusional. That’s the only answer.
But when I looked up, I could still see his eyes - those demonic, hateful eyes. Crimson colors in a whirlpool of black; the infinite darkness stained with blood. How could I ever imagine so much anger?
Even his gentleness, that kind, good person we all used to know - everything had died away in those eyes.
He didn’t even recognize me anymore. While his claws pierced through my stomach, he never showed a hint of sympathy; just pure rage.
Where had he gone? Where had the wonderful person I once loved been taken to?
No, I still loved him. I still felt my heart race whenever I looked at him. But this monster…this monster had taken him from me. Somewhere, in the depths of this beast, was my one and only.
But I would never see him again.
I’d never get that chance.
My soul was nearly gone for good. Not only could I hear it whisper to me, I could feel pieces of it slipping away, little by little. After it said “release me…I need freeeeeeeeedom,” another fragment would fall into the air. What was I supposed to do?
As weak as I was, I couldn’t summon the strength to destroy this monster.
I was still dying
Yet, even if I couldn’t do anything, the others would take care of the rest. They’d finish it for all of us, and my life would never be in vain. I’ll die for their sakes. I believe in them.
If I couldn’t stop Allen, they would.
But why did I have to die in front of his murderous eyes?
They stared at me so coldly. They even made me feel cold. Such disastrous eyes, looking only at me. Why did fate have to be such a cruel adversary?
Well, they did say he’d kill someone he loved.
Maybe I fulfilled a prophecy. Maybe Allen won’t kill anyone else. Maybe everyone else is safe.
Or maybe I’m just fooling myself.
He was still staring at me. His claws were still running through me. I thought I heard screams from down below. Lavi? Kanda? Were they screaming? For me?
Allen’s Noah had risen from the depths of hell to attack us. I was the first to attack. And I’d be the first to die.
I silently pleaded with God - if there even was one - to save Allen’s soul from oblivion. Even if he was a Noah, the Allen we knew didn’t have to suffer for it.
The pain crept into me slowly, quietly. My limbs were completely numb, thank goodness, but my heart was beating out of control. Shreds of cloth came fell my body and dropped weakly to the ground twenty stories below. The light of the moon was on my face and Allen’s as well. Though it was night, I could see everything around me. Blood trickling, hatred pulsing, a tear falling…
A tear?
But who was crying?
My mind had gotten so muddled, so I couldn’t tell for sure…
It wasn’t me. It was the Noah.
The Noah was crying. It was shedding tears right in front of me.
His expression was so passive and so blank, I could’ve easily mistaken the tears for something drab like sweat. Yet, here they were, slowly falling from his eyes like tiny waterfalls. Did demons cry?
It wasn’t a demon anymore. It was Allen. Allen was crying. For me.
Softly, I heard him whisper, “I-I’m…s-sorry.”
Then the Noah returned just as quickly as it had left. The tears dried up, and the overbearing claws retracted from my abdomen.
Gravity pulled me to the ground and wind whistled past my ears. While I fell, I couldn’t help but ask: what was that just now? How had Allen cried to me, spoken to me? How had he been able to come back?
His soul?
It was possible, wasn’t it?
So, then that meant his soul was truly saved…
I smiled. For the first time in a long time, I smiled. Allen’s soul was saved…
And that was enough for me.