All those colors long since faded. All our smiles are confiscated.
Monday, August 31st
Day 92
Early Evening
Karina’s party and my recent picnic in the park with Koneko have reminded me how much I actually used to enjoy being out and around people. I wonder when that changed? It wasn’t just a result of what happened in the alley, that incident just made it worse. I think it started even before that, though I can’t remember when or even why. And its funny, I told Cain I couldn’t stay hidden away at home from all the bad things in the world, yet that’s pretty much what I’ve been doing. Its time I stopped, what good is being alive if you’re not living, right?
Cain has been so sweet about being around at night and walking me wherever I want to go, but this is something I need to start doing on my own. I change into jeans and a plain cotton shirt and first stop by the café for an early dinner, then head to the tavern just for a couple of drinks. I don’t plan on being out late anyway and if for some reason I am, I can always ask Adam at the inn to walk me home I’m sure Valmont won’t mind.
The tavern is nearly empty when I walk in so I take a seat in the corner at the bar so I can watch people as they come in but not be in the way. I don’t mind if they don’t talk to me or anything, just being around people at this point will be good enough I think. It’s not long before Thomas is setting fire whiskey down in front of me and I almost go to tell him I actually had wanted the mead, but my hands are shaking so much I think I’ll just keep this. So I smile and thank him, putting money on the bar and hope after finish this and have another I won’t feel like running out of here as if the place were on fire. I'll be fine I know I will, this is just silly, completely ridiculous.
[OPEN TO TEZ] [CLOSED]
Day 92
Early Evening
Karina’s party and my recent picnic in the park with Koneko have reminded me how much I actually used to enjoy being out and around people. I wonder when that changed? It wasn’t just a result of what happened in the alley, that incident just made it worse. I think it started even before that, though I can’t remember when or even why. And its funny, I told Cain I couldn’t stay hidden away at home from all the bad things in the world, yet that’s pretty much what I’ve been doing. Its time I stopped, what good is being alive if you’re not living, right?
Cain has been so sweet about being around at night and walking me wherever I want to go, but this is something I need to start doing on my own. I change into jeans and a plain cotton shirt and first stop by the café for an early dinner, then head to the tavern just for a couple of drinks. I don’t plan on being out late anyway and if for some reason I am, I can always ask Adam at the inn to walk me home I’m sure Valmont won’t mind.
The tavern is nearly empty when I walk in so I take a seat in the corner at the bar so I can watch people as they come in but not be in the way. I don’t mind if they don’t talk to me or anything, just being around people at this point will be good enough I think. It’s not long before Thomas is setting fire whiskey down in front of me and I almost go to tell him I actually had wanted the mead, but my hands are shaking so much I think I’ll just keep this. So I smile and thank him, putting money on the bar and hope after finish this and have another I won’t feel like running out of here as if the place were on fire. I'll be fine I know I will, this is just silly, completely ridiculous.
[OPEN TO TEZ] [CLOSED]