(no subject)
July 2nd, lunchtime
Today the weather is that unpleasant combination of heat and rain. Gentle showers on a warm day can be refreshing, but instead the rain falls in fat drops, not breaking the heat at all but making the air steam. The weather is making the wave in my hair droop, I fear, which is a shame, as perhaps Jamie will visit the store today.
I brush my skirt for the thousandth time so far today, I feel very nervous. If he comes, I will have to explain my past to him, and I am not sure I am ready for that. I am not sure I will ever be ready. Even thinking about it makes my heart beat painfully fast, and the air - this horrid hot air - catch in my lungs like a stone. But if he does not come - Well. I will have put on this pretty blue skirt for no good reason, for one thing.
The store has not been very busy today, the bad weather keeping everyone away. I wish it were a busy day, for then I would not be trapped with my thoughts. I have restacked the canned goods shelf three times. It does not seem to help. I tug at my skirt again and then turn the sign on the door to CLOSED. It is one pm, so time for my lunch break.
I find I am not very hungry today, however. So I decide to sit on the porch. The air is not very fresh, but at least this is less stuffy than my apartment. I hear that once upon a time people used to have machines that blew cold air around their houses. Wouldn't that have been pleasant? But it must have used a great deal of electricity, and I am well aware that electricity at all is a luxury. In the town I grew up in we had electricity, too; but it was strictly rationed to two hours per day in summer and four in winter. We are lucky in Excolo. I must remember that when it seems that the strangeness of this town is growing overwhelming.
I settle back into my rocking chair, looking out into the rain.
[open to Jamie]
Today the weather is that unpleasant combination of heat and rain. Gentle showers on a warm day can be refreshing, but instead the rain falls in fat drops, not breaking the heat at all but making the air steam. The weather is making the wave in my hair droop, I fear, which is a shame, as perhaps Jamie will visit the store today.
I brush my skirt for the thousandth time so far today, I feel very nervous. If he comes, I will have to explain my past to him, and I am not sure I am ready for that. I am not sure I will ever be ready. Even thinking about it makes my heart beat painfully fast, and the air - this horrid hot air - catch in my lungs like a stone. But if he does not come - Well. I will have put on this pretty blue skirt for no good reason, for one thing.
The store has not been very busy today, the bad weather keeping everyone away. I wish it were a busy day, for then I would not be trapped with my thoughts. I have restacked the canned goods shelf three times. It does not seem to help. I tug at my skirt again and then turn the sign on the door to CLOSED. It is one pm, so time for my lunch break.
I find I am not very hungry today, however. So I decide to sit on the porch. The air is not very fresh, but at least this is less stuffy than my apartment. I hear that once upon a time people used to have machines that blew cold air around their houses. Wouldn't that have been pleasant? But it must have used a great deal of electricity, and I am well aware that electricity at all is a luxury. In the town I grew up in we had electricity, too; but it was strictly rationed to two hours per day in summer and four in winter. We are lucky in Excolo. I must remember that when it seems that the strangeness of this town is growing overwhelming.
I settle back into my rocking chair, looking out into the rain.
[open to Jamie]