(Untitled)

[estrellazorra]

people are always saying how a rolling stone gathers no moss. but what happens if it rolls through a big wad of gum

Comments

[tritoneclarinet]

And eventually, the sugars in the gum start to leech to the surface, allowing microorganisms to feed off of it. After several years, moss begins to form, as well as the beginnings of a complex minature universe.

Stones don't gather moss; they grow it.

[estrellazorra]

see, you've neglected the fact that the stone is continuously rolling all over creation, causing all this surface corrosion, which leads to the ultimate destruction of anything that even thinks about growing on its surface

[tritoneclarinet]

Yes, but obviously before that happens, the gum has already spawned its progeny, little microorganisms that litter the path behind the rock, gradually forming complex civilizations in its wake. These civilizations worship the "two-sided God/Goddess", that of the rock and the gum, and marvel at the sheer interconnectedness of the two. Without one or the other, they would never exist.

Of course, eventually one or two splinter factions start talking about how in reality the rock is better because without its endless motion, they would have never been placed where they currently live, to which the other side protests that obviously the gum is more important, as it was from the gum that they recieved the sugar off of which they based their life. And so begins the first of the great religious wars. Within a 100 years, the entire civilization is destroyed, leaving a slimy spot on the cement sidewalk that one of us poor innocent humans will slip in, while wondering idly where all that gunk came from.