last names

[estrie]

plural, here posted how he feels about the whole women taking their husbands' last names at marriage thing. And then a whole bunch of people commented (and still are commenting probably). Instead of commenting there, I'm going to think in writing here. And I'm going to make a poll, and request comments from you

Comments

[your_friend]

Ben Hsia.

- Bill

[estrie]

doesn't really have that ring either ;-)

[your_friend]

How about this?

Ben Hsia!!

- Bill

[shauntoler]

6 Content-Type: text/html; charset=iso Content-Language: en X-Cache: MISS from First Connection: close New York State Assembly - Members Thursday, October 9, NYS Assembly Assembly Home Page Assembly Member Listing Member Info Home Page Biography Sponsored Legislation Committee Membership Publications District Map Contact Assemblyman Michael Benjamin 79th Assembly District Publications News from Michael Benjamin Assemblyman Benjamin Fighting to Keep New Yorkers Warm August 5, Benjamin Urges NYers to Become Blood Donors August 5, Assemblyman Michael Benjamin Urges Passage of Nurse Protection Bill June 5, Assemblyman Michael Benjamin Announces New Veterans’ Benefits June 5, Assemblyman Michael Benjamin Opposes NYC School Budget Cuts June 3, Assemblyman Michael Benjamin Concern over GHI Privatization May Bronx Assemblyman Introduces Bill to Address the Soaring Cost of Gasoline May Assemblyman Benjamin: New Gun-Violence Laws Cannot Come Too Soon for New Yorkers May Assemblyman Benjamin: State Keeps the CFE promise, Urges

[lindze]

heya...you dont know me, sorry to butt in ^^;

but Im married and I have the EXACT stance on it as you. Ive gotten heat from my feminist friends about changing my name, but basically....i took my husbands last name because it was about a million times better than my maiden name, which i loathed and hate my father who gave it to me as well...soooOOO, yeah.
maiden name: Lindze Duininck
Married name: Lindze Merritt (much better, right?)
BUT if i had liked my maiden name, i would have kept it. i didnt change it to be tradtional, or so things would make more sense to people, but just cause i wanted to. Im not into keeping original names just to be a feminist...i think its an individual choice on how you feel about it fitting YOU.
but personally, i think the guys should have to change their names. following a matriarchal family line is more logical than patriarchal, just since its more acurate. no bra burning in that statement...just logic.

[estrie]

ahh... thank you for commenting!!! i like it very much.
and, certainly, i like what you said :)

regarding the matriarchal family line, i never really thought about it before, but now i will happily be considering it for awhile. it particularly makes sense when keeping in mind that jewish lineage is passed on through the mother.

A recent response in plural's journal is from a woman who kept her name just because that's her, and their children have *her* last name (because they feel children should have the same last name as their mother). Which I agree with... and I find it strange that I so readily agree because the only examples I've ever seen of parents w/ diff. names have children who have their father's name.

It's actually cool cause as the comments in plural's journal progress, they're less and less responses to what he wrote, and more statements that are similar to our viewpoint... It's a name, it's names, and it's what suits us.

[lachrymite]

I really hate my last name. I can't think of any names it meshes well with. Stupid fucking Portuguese name. So, I hope that my future wife, should I get married, keeps her maiden name. Hell, I would like it if I could take hers, depending what it is. It's not a matter of feminism, since I'm certainly not a male feminist in the least and enjoy quite traditional family units and like submissive women. It's just a matter of aesthetics.

[dr_rocket]

your spite for the portuguese wouldn't happen to stem from your hatred of your own name, eh?

[lachrymite]

I think my spite from the Portuguese mainly stems from the fact that they are the predominant minority in this area, and thus I have a lot of experience with how obnoxious they can be as a culture. Many are first generation immigrants, and still cling strongly to their rather annoying old world ways, like a machismo similar to that found in many Hispanic cultures, fanatic dedication to the Catholic church, and a much stronger bias against intelligence and for the ability to play soccer than is found in most of the subcultures of America. Even though I'm only 25%, since I have the last name and the general Portuguese male look, I can get stereotyped into being just another Portagee or greenhorn (the slurs for Portuguese around here). Ironically, if I go anywhere else, like when I lived in Philadelphia or Africa, and people find out I'm Portuguese they think it's all exotic and interesting.

[estrie]

yo, it meshes well with jym :D

[dr_rocket]

should we get married, i think the best idea would be to keep our current names. should we have kids, perhaps we'll flip a coin and decide on a case-by-case basis, or make up a new one (Hsialler?).

as far as the "ownership" issue, it may be a small battle, but i honestly can't think of a better way to remove the idea of transferring ownership of the woman from one family to the other than to get rid of that name convention, and, well, i, speaking as a male of course, certainly see this as an important women's issue

not only that, but i like your last name and would hate for you to give it up.

[estrie]

hsialler?

you're making me laugh. a lot :)

actually, it occured to me eventually that it's possible women have taken their husbands' names for so long because the children so identify with their mothers. it's almost unfair... as Lindze (above) said, it makes sense to go matriarchal, and it makes sense (i think) that children should have the same name as their mother... ha, now i know for certain i need to think about this.

i think it would be hilarious if we literally flipped a coin for each child (me, bearing children? whoa...).

[estrie]

Hmm... I thought it was kind of clear that most of the people who have commented so far aren't particularly concerned with feminism. There's just a total disregard for either a) tradition or b) the family unit, apparantly

[life_on_credit]

I don't care the least bit about feminism, but if I ever get married I will probably keep my last name unless the dude has a name that sounds better with my first name. It comes down purely to a matter of how it sounds to me.