I actually worry about this a lot. So here are my personal thoughts on the subject, maybe they'll be interesting, I dunno (edit: This is super long because it is a Sunday afternoon. It is also super poorly written not very coherent because I have just enough time to write a lot, but not enough time to edit beyond this point. So I beg your indulgence
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I tend to respect their desire to create a persona, insofar as it is not offensive or hurtful towards anyone else. I know that I am not perfect, and require illusions (whether I'm conscious of them or not) to allow me to function better in day to day life, and I try to respect my friends' need for the same.
My upbringing left me with an anti-codependent-enabler streak, meaning I'm highly reluctant to shield people from the consequences of their own actions.
It goes beyond turnabout is fair play, into "You do realize you're about to smack your head against that wall very hard, right? Just checking." If there's a decent possibility of it being a learning experience, it would be wrong for me to stand in the way. And kind of time consuming because I'll have to stand in the way of it again later.
Thus if their outward wishes and what they really want are in conflict, I may try to point out to them that this is the case, and then give them what they asked for until they learn not to ask for it. And be pretty up-front that this is what I'm doing.
I dunno if this is #1, #2, or #3. Depending on the situation it can have elements of each.
I'm also not sure this is an entirely healthy behavior, or the best way to handle these situations. It's just where my instincts point.
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It goes beyond turnabout is fair play, into "You do realize you're about to smack your head against that wall very hard, right? Just checking." If there's a decent possibility of it being a learning experience, it would be wrong for me to stand in the way. And kind of time consuming because I'll have to stand in the way of it again later.
Thus if their outward wishes and what they really want are in conflict, I may try to point out to them that this is the case, and then give them what they asked for until they learn not to ask for it. And be pretty up-front that this is what I'm doing.
I dunno if this is #1, #2, or #3. Depending on the situation it can have elements of each.
I'm also not sure this is an entirely healthy behavior, or the best way to handle these situations. It's just where my instincts point.
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