[December 1st] [Discworld/Saiyuki] Family Resemblance (PG)
Title: Family Resemblance
Characters: Sanzo et al., Granny Aunty Weatherwax
Rating: PG
Notes: Saiyuki/Discworld crossover; it's all Unni's fault, because of this and because she told me I had to write bits of fic every day to get back in practice... think of it as a really, really weird multifandom advent calendar! December 1st, 450-ish words and rough around the edges. Somewhere up there, Sanzo's other sort-of spiritual aunt is laughing herself stupid.
Sanzo was not having what might conventionally be described as a good day. In fact, even calling it a bad day might just require true mastery of the art of understatement.
Although it was true that there had been a time when he wondered what exactly it was like to have a family, enough time spent in the company of Hakkai and the damn Kappa was enough to convince him that he was really better off without ever having had one. It could almost be considered getting off lightly. Which was why the current situation was... well...
"My aunt," he snapped at the old woman facing him. "I don't have an aunt. Get lost."
The woman drew herself up to her full height, which was quite high even without the imposing spire of her peculiarly pointed black hat. She looked like a bad-tempered raven -- thankfully not in the Ukoku sense, although on reflection it might not be that much of a mercy. Apparently he'd just given her The Wrong Answer, anyway.
"Young man," she snapped right back, icy almost to the point of glaciation, "I have come a long way to see my nephew, and that ain't the way you speak to your elders and betters."
The silence behind Sanzo sounded like three people trying very, very hard not to laugh. He'd deal with them later.
"I think I can see the family resemblance," Gojyo muttered, moving himself straight into the centre of Sanzo's mental crosshair with unerring accuracy.
Sanzo resisted the urge to reach for his gun, although it was really more a case of delaying the inevitable than anything else.
"What do you want from me?" he asked. They might as well get to the important part, so he could decide how to explode with rage.
The woman sniffed, and looked around. Sanzo refused to follow the line of her gaze. He did not need to see Hakkai's face right now, let alone Goku's or Gojyo's. "I would not say no to a cup of tea," she pronounced finally, in the tones of one granting a great favour. "And perhaps a biscuit. If your monkey ain't already eaten 'em all."
"Hey," Goku yelled, on cue and with a typical lack of self-preservation. "I'm not--"
"Oh, I can see what you are," she cut in, fixing him with a glare almost as strong as the one she'd been directing at Sanzo a moment ago. As Goku fell silent Sanzo felt just the faintest flicker of affinity for his supposed aunt.
It vanished the instant she rapped him across the knuckles for trying to pull his gun on Gojyo when the bloody Kappa lost his fight against laughter.
If reality was going to keep on being like this then the end of the world couldn't come soon enough.
Characters: Sanzo et al., Granny Aunty Weatherwax
Rating: PG
Notes: Saiyuki/Discworld crossover; it's all Unni's fault, because of this and because she told me I had to write bits of fic every day to get back in practice... think of it as a really, really weird multifandom advent calendar! December 1st, 450-ish words and rough around the edges. Somewhere up there, Sanzo's other sort-of spiritual aunt is laughing herself stupid.
Sanzo was not having what might conventionally be described as a good day. In fact, even calling it a bad day might just require true mastery of the art of understatement.
Although it was true that there had been a time when he wondered what exactly it was like to have a family, enough time spent in the company of Hakkai and the damn Kappa was enough to convince him that he was really better off without ever having had one. It could almost be considered getting off lightly. Which was why the current situation was... well...
"My aunt," he snapped at the old woman facing him. "I don't have an aunt. Get lost."
The woman drew herself up to her full height, which was quite high even without the imposing spire of her peculiarly pointed black hat. She looked like a bad-tempered raven -- thankfully not in the Ukoku sense, although on reflection it might not be that much of a mercy. Apparently he'd just given her The Wrong Answer, anyway.
"Young man," she snapped right back, icy almost to the point of glaciation, "I have come a long way to see my nephew, and that ain't the way you speak to your elders and betters."
The silence behind Sanzo sounded like three people trying very, very hard not to laugh. He'd deal with them later.
"I think I can see the family resemblance," Gojyo muttered, moving himself straight into the centre of Sanzo's mental crosshair with unerring accuracy.
Sanzo resisted the urge to reach for his gun, although it was really more a case of delaying the inevitable than anything else.
"What do you want from me?" he asked. They might as well get to the important part, so he could decide how to explode with rage.
The woman sniffed, and looked around. Sanzo refused to follow the line of her gaze. He did not need to see Hakkai's face right now, let alone Goku's or Gojyo's. "I would not say no to a cup of tea," she pronounced finally, in the tones of one granting a great favour. "And perhaps a biscuit. If your monkey ain't already eaten 'em all."
"Hey," Goku yelled, on cue and with a typical lack of self-preservation. "I'm not--"
"Oh, I can see what you are," she cut in, fixing him with a glare almost as strong as the one she'd been directing at Sanzo a moment ago. As Goku fell silent Sanzo felt just the faintest flicker of affinity for his supposed aunt.
It vanished the instant she rapped him across the knuckles for trying to pull his gun on Gojyo when the bloody Kappa lost his fight against laughter.
If reality was going to keep on being like this then the end of the world couldn't come soon enough.