betenoire_rp application
1. Player Information
Name (or internet handle): Carly
Current characters in Bete Noire: None
2. Character Information
Name: Homura Akemi
Livejournal Username: eternal_maze
Fandom: Puella Magi Madoka Magica
3. Character Information II
Age/Appearance: Homura is technically only fourteen years old, but there's a certain amount of age in her eyes that suggests wisdom beyond her years. (Considering how many times she's repeated the same month, she's mentally more in the neighborhood of fifteen, and has seen more horrible things than most adults have.) Tall and dark-haired, she's cool, calm and aloof.
History: There are official summaries, but all of them are kind of lacking in the sort of depth I'd like, so I will attempt to explain, as her history is really important. And really, really convoluted.
Originally, Homura was a shy and weak girl, having just returned to school from an extended stay in the hospital. She was befriended by Madoka Kaname, a classmate, on her first day, but was depressed about her inability to perform at school, which led her to stumble into a Witch's barrier. However, she was saved by the arrival of Madoka and her friend, upperclassman Mami Tomoe, who turned out to both be magical girls ("Puella Magi"), who had made contracts with a being called Kyuubey to fight the beings called Witches in exchange for a wish.
Upon the arrival of an extraordinarily powerful Witch, known as Walpurgis Night, both Mami and Madoka died fighting. Homura, grief-stricken, contracted to become a magical girl, wishing that she could re-do her meeting with Madoka and become someone who could protect her rather than be protected by her.
Suddenly, she found herself waking up in the hospital about nine days before she originally met Madoka-although with one change. She held in her hand her Soul Gem, the source of a magical girl's power. Excited, she approached Madoka on the first day of school right away and told her that she had become a magical girl as well. Working with Madoka and Mami, she worked on developing her ability at stopping time, although she was somewhat hindered by her lingering physical weakness.
However, with the arrival of Walpurgis Night, Madoka managed to survive-barely-but had used up the last of her magic and to Homura's horror, transformed into a Witch, leading to Homura resetting the timeline again.
In her third attempt, Homura tried to inform the other magical girls (now including Madoka's friend Sayaka) that they had been deceived by Kyuubey and would become Witches. She wasn't listened to, however, until Sayaka overdrew her magical power and became a Witch herself, which led to Mami going berserk and trying to kill them all to stop them from becoming Witches. Madoka had to kill Mami, and was horrified by what she had done, but Homura helped her keep going by telling her that they'd defeat Walpurgis Night together. Which they did, at the expense of all their magical power. Madoka, having saved a Grief Seed, refreshed Homura's Soul Gem, and told her that she wanted her to go back and prevent her from being deceived by Kyuubey... and also that she didn't want to become a Witch.
After mercy-killing Madoka, Homura resets the timeline again, and decides that there is going to be no more messing around. She fixes her eyesight and some of her physical weaknesses using her Soul Gem, and sets about exterminating every Witch on her own. However, come Walpurgis Night, she can't defeat it on her own, leading to Madoka contracting to save her and immediately turning into a Witch of immeasurable power.
Homura resets the timeline again, and again, and again, but still can't manage to find a way to save Madoka... And this is where we find the Homura that I'm apping.
Personality: Homura started out as a shy and clumsy but sweet, earnest girl with a tendency to be hard on herself. After having re-lived the deaths of her friends and having to mercy-kill some of them multiple times, it's hardened her into a confident, competent veteran with no feelings to spare except for The Mission. She doesn't show much emotion, little seems to shock her, and she's not above doing to hard thing or telling the difficult truth for the greater good, which occasionally leads to her being seen as cruel, when she's really just trying to solve things the most expedient possible way. (As she says, "I am the ally of rationality and the enemy of needless conflict.")
Being the only one who's lived what she has, she has a tendency to believe that others can't be relied upon (particularly after that one time Mami tried to kill her) and that if something's to be done right, it has to be done by her. Her tendency to isolate herself doesn't help that, either.
Inside, however, she has a gnawing loneliness and sadness-particularly as each time she repeats the month, she and Madoka seem to grow further and further apart as friends.
(Additional personality bits from revisions:)
Canonically, Homura is never shown with family; she lives alone and has only recently moved to the town she lives in, originally being from Tokyo. My headcanon is that her parents were both busy people with appearances to keep up, and while they weren't intentionally cruel to her, having a shy, awkward, disabled daughter was an inconvenience to them and they never really made an effort to conceal that feeling. As a result, she's very hard on herself and for a very long time tried to prove that she wasn't worthless. It's to the point where on her first day of school, after having some difficulty in math class and fainting during gym (understandable, given that she'd been bedridden for six months), she started to have suicidal feelings.
After she contracted as a Puella Magi and became more confident in her abilities during timeline 3, she's had less of issues with feeling useless, but is still hard on herself; being the only one who knows everything about their situation, she's taken it upon herself to fix everything she sees as wrong with what's happened before personally; her experiences have made her believe that she can't depend on others. (When she tried to tell them, they didn't believe her; after what she said was confirmed, one of them tried to kill her.) The real her really is the face she currently shows to others; her experiences have changed her irreversibly. While she might still be able to live a happy life if things ever work out for her (canonically, they... sort of do, anyway, although even after that she's basically like, I'm just protecting the world Madoka wanted to protect until I die and Godoka takes me to Puella Magi Valhalla) the things she's seen and lived can't be unseen. She's done some things in the course of her personal mission that would horrify other people, and that's something you just can't erase.
Actually, now that I think about that, there's still a little need to prove herself there, but now it's all pinned on being able to save Madoka. If she can do it, she's not worthless.
As for how she views herself, she is well aware that she is neither hero nor nice person; she's not really even so firm on just 'person', given that she calls herself 'no longer human' several times-which is kind of true, since being a Puella Magi is somewhat akin to being a Lich. She's isolates herself from others intentionally, now, which she does for their protection-being friends with a Puella Magi can have no happy ending, in her view. It's a sad, lonely road, and one she believes she must walk alone, if she's to succeed. With kindness comes naïveté. Courage becomes foolhardiness. And dedication has no reward. She has become cold and hard because that's what she believes she needs to be to create the future she wants to see.
However, inside her hard outer shell, she is very, very fragile. She stands on the razor's edge between hope and despair. She'll continue repeating time over and over, because she is aware that giving up will be the end of her, literally-when she loses all hope, she will turn into a Grief Seed and die. So she has to keep on going, because the only way is forward and there's no stopping. She won't let Madoka sacrifice herself-Madoka's nice, and kind, and has so many people who want to see her happy-but she's completely fine with sacrificing her own self for Madoka, because she cares about Madoka. She doesn't really care about what happens to herself. God, I'm just now realizing the full extent of how effed up her self-esteem is, now that I'm writing this out. Wow.
Sexual Preferences/Orientation: Madoka Kaname Homura's still growing into her sexuality, still being young, although she seems to have a budding interest in other girls. She certainly has a bit of a crush on the girl she considers her best and only friend, Madoka, but over the course of repeatedly re-doing the same month to save her life, it's started to twist into something bordering on obsession.
It's unknown whether she'd be equally interested romantically in boys because there is like one male character her age in the show who she never interacts with, and she was socialized primarily with other girls at a Catholic school in Tokyo before coming to Mitakihara.
Powers: Well, first of all: she has time manipulation powers. These generally manifest in the ability to briefly stop time, which she uses to move or deploy her hilariously large arsenal of military weapons. She can also take someone with her in time stop, which is also something of a weakness in that if she's physically restrained, she still can't move because she takes along whatever's touching her.
The other use for her time-related abilities is to turn back time-specifically to nine days before she met Madoka Kaname. I'm saying that won't work here, because that would defeat the purpose of everything and make things hellishly complicated.
So about those weapons. Having only a shield, Homura branched out into other weaponry to fight as a magical girl-which is to say, non-magical explosives and firearms. She makes her own explosives and has started stealing firearms them from military bases. And boy has she gotten good at using them. She stores them in a sort of hyperspace pocket connected to her magical shield-slash-time travel device.
She can also sort-of... float?-it's not really flight, but she can stay aloft for a lot longer than, say, a normal human could, jumping, when transformed. (IDK how to describe this?) She's also a hell of a runner and athlete, although she acquired those skills naturally over a lot of time looping.
Additionally: she is a master of the art of dramatic entrances and exits.
Reason for playing: She's just such an interesting and complicated character, and, um, I'm kind of in love with the canon as well. I think she's fit in at BN despite being so young, just because her source canon jives with the way it operates really well in that it's a magical girl show set in a crapsack world where magical power will slowly corrupt you and turn you into a horrible evil monster. I think this combination has a lot of potential.
(Additions from revisions: )
NGL, I have heard fantastic things about this game from people who play in it, for one thing. I think Homura would be really great to play here, too. I am having a bit of trouble articulating it, but I get the vibe that this would work very well for the sort of character she is? I've been sort of stalking the comms and I think the feeling event things (e.g. tension week, compulsion week, etc.) would have some cool things for her, and she is no stranger to dark emotions. I think it'll also be interesting to get her out of her usual setting-especially since she's essentially gotten an un-asked-for vacation from Madoka-saving, and I'm really interested in exploring her psychology in what functions as downtime for her. Since she's on a timetable the whole time we see her in canon, she really doesn't stop and think or consider... ever. So it'll be interesting to see what happens.
In terms of plans, I was pretty much just going to go with what happens? I try to be flexible, anyway. For starters, there may be some theft for supplies. I feel like getting in trouble with the law has entertaining possibilities. Um, and she'll probably want to use her temporary reprieve for more planning and research. She might be interested in creeping on other magic-users to see if they've got anything powerful enough to defeat Walpurgis Night.
Aaaaand the age-up question: I personally feel it would be best for the character to keep her 14; if I wait to a point in canon when she's 18, it'll change her outlook drastically, and if she just magically ages or something, I... I don't really know how I'd work that? Anyway, I think she'll be okay in an adult-oriented game; she's no innocent, she's capable of taking care of herself, and very little freaks her out. She's young, but she's not childish anymore, I guess you could say?
4. Original Character Supplement
n/a
5. Samples
First-Person:
It has come time to admit to myself that I no longer know what I am doing.
How many times have I tried, now? Twelve? Fourteen? I made the contract to become a Puella Magi to protect her, and still I fail. Is there something, still, that I haven’t tried? I’ve killed all the witches so there’s nothing to fight, I’ve tracked the Incubator to stop him whenever he tries to convince her to make a contract-what is it I’m doing wrong?
Sometimes I wonder if it’s just impossible. But I can’t have tried everything. And I have all the time in the world.
I’ll save her even if I have to repeat this month ten thousand, a million-infinite times. Even if I die trying.
Hang on, Madoka. I’m coming.
Third-Person:
Homura has failed. Again.
What’s left of the being formerly known as Madoka Kaname towers above her in the sky, shadowy arms outstretched toward either horizon. And Homura can already feel the pull, the beckoning of the witch. Join me, she says. In me there is no pain, no suffering. You can rest at last.
It’s almost tempting. A part of her wonders if this is how it’s meant to be. She could be with Madoka forever... but it’s not Madoka, she reminds herself. Just a husk, just a remnant, who will absorb the world into herself to end all suffering. There are so many things I still want to protect, Madoka had told her, what feels like so long ago. She would be horrified.
Homura shakes her head, as if just the motion will clear all doubt away, and stands. The Incubator’s eyes turn to watch her. And she starts walking-away.
“You’re not going to fight?” says Kyuubey.
She doesn’t turn. “This is not my battlefield,” Homura says, and the flow of time reverses around her, enveloping her in the familiar and almost comforting blackness of sleep just before waking.
Opening her eyes after a moment, she almost instinctively rolls sideways off of her hospital bed-it’s become second nature after so many times-but she’s not lying down, and she’s not in the hospital.
In fact, she’s not anywhere she’s ever seen before. It certainly isn’t Mitakihara; the city has strict enough building codes such that you’d never find an area so dilapidated within the city limits (least, before Walpurgis Night; she’s never stuck around to find out what happens after). And, last she checked, Mitakihara wasn’t scorching hot, streets ringing with dry, dehydrated cries for food. Something’s gone wrong. Wronger than wrong.
And-what’s more, she’s managed to end up in her hospital pajamas. Now that’s just adding insult to injury, there.
Homura sighs, and lets the energy of her Soul Gem flow over her, into her, and transforms, at once taking a great leap that carries her up to the rooftops, where she figures it’ll be easier to get around.
First things first: shelter, clothing, and someone to tell her how to find a way back. Back to Mitakihara, and Madoka Kaname.
Third-Person #2:
The small, white furry creature in her hands struggles wildly, but doesn’t make a sound from its mouth as Homura wraps her hands around its neck. Instead:
You! Who are-what are you doing- its voice screams in her head, and then, as it realizes that she’s not gong to let up: Help me! Someone, please! Help me-Madoka-
“No one will come,” says Homura, calmly, curling her fingers closer around its neck, despite the desperate flailing of its rabbit-like back legs. The light of her buckler is still glowing and the world still sits still and grey around her; she estimates maybe she has thirty seconds left of privacy. More than enough. “I know your tricks. Madoka won’t hear you here.”
There’s almost a flash of recognition there. Who-who are you?
That little face with its innocent expression. Like it doesn’t know exactly what it’s doing here. God, it pisses her off. “You can play innocent all you like,” Homura says, through gritted teeth. “I know what you are, though. Incubator. And I’m done playing.”
She snaps his neck.
The time stop fades, with almost the feeling of a sigh, and Homura feels hserself relax at last. She-she’s done it. For the first time in what feels like months-what has been months, she feels safe. Madoka’s safe. She allows herself to lean back against the outer wall of Madoka’s house, to take a deep breath.
Finally, it’s over-
There’s a rustling in the bushes across from her, and Homura can’t quite believe her eyes, because another one springs out, a streak of white across the black of night, only stopping to give her a quizzical look before disappearing into the darkness. She starts to move to give chase-
Madoka. Madoka’s here, and if she leaves, who’s to say it won’t come back, and then all’s for naught.
Shit. She turns, to reassure herself that Madoka is still there in her room, working peacefully at her homework, still safe, when she realizes that Madoka is staring straight at her.
“Who-”
For a moment, Homura wants to cross the gap between them, embrace her, tell her how much it means to her to see her happy and ordinary and alive. But she’s a stranger to this Madoka Kaname, and must continue to be, for her sake. Being her friend will only lead Madoka further into the world of Puella Magi, and that’s the last thing Homura wants.
She lets out a breath. “Madoka. If someone tries to tempt you with miracles, don’t let them manipulate you.”
“…Homu-”
Homura freezes. How could she-
No. No, she can’t stay. Madoka’s fate depends on it. She has to focus. She should have known that it couldn’t possibly be so simple, and that lapse had cost her. It wouldn’t get away so easily next time.
Even if she has to strangle ten thousand of them.
Name (or internet handle): Carly
Current characters in Bete Noire: None
2. Character Information
Name: Homura Akemi
Livejournal Username: eternal_maze
Fandom: Puella Magi Madoka Magica
3. Character Information II
Age/Appearance: Homura is technically only fourteen years old, but there's a certain amount of age in her eyes that suggests wisdom beyond her years. (Considering how many times she's repeated the same month, she's mentally more in the neighborhood of fifteen, and has seen more horrible things than most adults have.) Tall and dark-haired, she's cool, calm and aloof.
History: There are official summaries, but all of them are kind of lacking in the sort of depth I'd like, so I will attempt to explain, as her history is really important. And really, really convoluted.
Originally, Homura was a shy and weak girl, having just returned to school from an extended stay in the hospital. She was befriended by Madoka Kaname, a classmate, on her first day, but was depressed about her inability to perform at school, which led her to stumble into a Witch's barrier. However, she was saved by the arrival of Madoka and her friend, upperclassman Mami Tomoe, who turned out to both be magical girls ("Puella Magi"), who had made contracts with a being called Kyuubey to fight the beings called Witches in exchange for a wish.
Upon the arrival of an extraordinarily powerful Witch, known as Walpurgis Night, both Mami and Madoka died fighting. Homura, grief-stricken, contracted to become a magical girl, wishing that she could re-do her meeting with Madoka and become someone who could protect her rather than be protected by her.
Suddenly, she found herself waking up in the hospital about nine days before she originally met Madoka-although with one change. She held in her hand her Soul Gem, the source of a magical girl's power. Excited, she approached Madoka on the first day of school right away and told her that she had become a magical girl as well. Working with Madoka and Mami, she worked on developing her ability at stopping time, although she was somewhat hindered by her lingering physical weakness.
However, with the arrival of Walpurgis Night, Madoka managed to survive-barely-but had used up the last of her magic and to Homura's horror, transformed into a Witch, leading to Homura resetting the timeline again.
In her third attempt, Homura tried to inform the other magical girls (now including Madoka's friend Sayaka) that they had been deceived by Kyuubey and would become Witches. She wasn't listened to, however, until Sayaka overdrew her magical power and became a Witch herself, which led to Mami going berserk and trying to kill them all to stop them from becoming Witches. Madoka had to kill Mami, and was horrified by what she had done, but Homura helped her keep going by telling her that they'd defeat Walpurgis Night together. Which they did, at the expense of all their magical power. Madoka, having saved a Grief Seed, refreshed Homura's Soul Gem, and told her that she wanted her to go back and prevent her from being deceived by Kyuubey... and also that she didn't want to become a Witch.
After mercy-killing Madoka, Homura resets the timeline again, and decides that there is going to be no more messing around. She fixes her eyesight and some of her physical weaknesses using her Soul Gem, and sets about exterminating every Witch on her own. However, come Walpurgis Night, she can't defeat it on her own, leading to Madoka contracting to save her and immediately turning into a Witch of immeasurable power.
Homura resets the timeline again, and again, and again, but still can't manage to find a way to save Madoka... And this is where we find the Homura that I'm apping.
Personality: Homura started out as a shy and clumsy but sweet, earnest girl with a tendency to be hard on herself. After having re-lived the deaths of her friends and having to mercy-kill some of them multiple times, it's hardened her into a confident, competent veteran with no feelings to spare except for The Mission. She doesn't show much emotion, little seems to shock her, and she's not above doing to hard thing or telling the difficult truth for the greater good, which occasionally leads to her being seen as cruel, when she's really just trying to solve things the most expedient possible way. (As she says, "I am the ally of rationality and the enemy of needless conflict.")
Being the only one who's lived what she has, she has a tendency to believe that others can't be relied upon (particularly after that one time Mami tried to kill her) and that if something's to be done right, it has to be done by her. Her tendency to isolate herself doesn't help that, either.
Inside, however, she has a gnawing loneliness and sadness-particularly as each time she repeats the month, she and Madoka seem to grow further and further apart as friends.
(Additional personality bits from revisions:)
Canonically, Homura is never shown with family; she lives alone and has only recently moved to the town she lives in, originally being from Tokyo. My headcanon is that her parents were both busy people with appearances to keep up, and while they weren't intentionally cruel to her, having a shy, awkward, disabled daughter was an inconvenience to them and they never really made an effort to conceal that feeling. As a result, she's very hard on herself and for a very long time tried to prove that she wasn't worthless. It's to the point where on her first day of school, after having some difficulty in math class and fainting during gym (understandable, given that she'd been bedridden for six months), she started to have suicidal feelings.
After she contracted as a Puella Magi and became more confident in her abilities during timeline 3, she's had less of issues with feeling useless, but is still hard on herself; being the only one who knows everything about their situation, she's taken it upon herself to fix everything she sees as wrong with what's happened before personally; her experiences have made her believe that she can't depend on others. (When she tried to tell them, they didn't believe her; after what she said was confirmed, one of them tried to kill her.) The real her really is the face she currently shows to others; her experiences have changed her irreversibly. While she might still be able to live a happy life if things ever work out for her (canonically, they... sort of do, anyway, although even after that she's basically like, I'm just protecting the world Madoka wanted to protect until I die and Godoka takes me to Puella Magi Valhalla) the things she's seen and lived can't be unseen. She's done some things in the course of her personal mission that would horrify other people, and that's something you just can't erase.
Actually, now that I think about that, there's still a little need to prove herself there, but now it's all pinned on being able to save Madoka. If she can do it, she's not worthless.
As for how she views herself, she is well aware that she is neither hero nor nice person; she's not really even so firm on just 'person', given that she calls herself 'no longer human' several times-which is kind of true, since being a Puella Magi is somewhat akin to being a Lich. She's isolates herself from others intentionally, now, which she does for their protection-being friends with a Puella Magi can have no happy ending, in her view. It's a sad, lonely road, and one she believes she must walk alone, if she's to succeed. With kindness comes naïveté. Courage becomes foolhardiness. And dedication has no reward. She has become cold and hard because that's what she believes she needs to be to create the future she wants to see.
However, inside her hard outer shell, she is very, very fragile. She stands on the razor's edge between hope and despair. She'll continue repeating time over and over, because she is aware that giving up will be the end of her, literally-when she loses all hope, she will turn into a Grief Seed and die. So she has to keep on going, because the only way is forward and there's no stopping. She won't let Madoka sacrifice herself-Madoka's nice, and kind, and has so many people who want to see her happy-but she's completely fine with sacrificing her own self for Madoka, because she cares about Madoka. She doesn't really care about what happens to herself. God, I'm just now realizing the full extent of how effed up her self-esteem is, now that I'm writing this out. Wow.
Sexual Preferences/Orientation: Madoka Kaname Homura's still growing into her sexuality, still being young, although she seems to have a budding interest in other girls. She certainly has a bit of a crush on the girl she considers her best and only friend, Madoka, but over the course of repeatedly re-doing the same month to save her life, it's started to twist into something bordering on obsession.
It's unknown whether she'd be equally interested romantically in boys because there is like one male character her age in the show who she never interacts with, and she was socialized primarily with other girls at a Catholic school in Tokyo before coming to Mitakihara.
Powers: Well, first of all: she has time manipulation powers. These generally manifest in the ability to briefly stop time, which she uses to move or deploy her hilariously large arsenal of military weapons. She can also take someone with her in time stop, which is also something of a weakness in that if she's physically restrained, she still can't move because she takes along whatever's touching her.
The other use for her time-related abilities is to turn back time-specifically to nine days before she met Madoka Kaname. I'm saying that won't work here, because that would defeat the purpose of everything and make things hellishly complicated.
So about those weapons. Having only a shield, Homura branched out into other weaponry to fight as a magical girl-which is to say, non-magical explosives and firearms. She makes her own explosives and has started stealing firearms them from military bases. And boy has she gotten good at using them. She stores them in a sort of hyperspace pocket connected to her magical shield-slash-time travel device.
She can also sort-of... float?-it's not really flight, but she can stay aloft for a lot longer than, say, a normal human could, jumping, when transformed. (IDK how to describe this?) She's also a hell of a runner and athlete, although she acquired those skills naturally over a lot of time looping.
Additionally: she is a master of the art of dramatic entrances and exits.
Reason for playing: She's just such an interesting and complicated character, and, um, I'm kind of in love with the canon as well. I think she's fit in at BN despite being so young, just because her source canon jives with the way it operates really well in that it's a magical girl show set in a crapsack world where magical power will slowly corrupt you and turn you into a horrible evil monster. I think this combination has a lot of potential.
(Additions from revisions: )
NGL, I have heard fantastic things about this game from people who play in it, for one thing. I think Homura would be really great to play here, too. I am having a bit of trouble articulating it, but I get the vibe that this would work very well for the sort of character she is? I've been sort of stalking the comms and I think the feeling event things (e.g. tension week, compulsion week, etc.) would have some cool things for her, and she is no stranger to dark emotions. I think it'll also be interesting to get her out of her usual setting-especially since she's essentially gotten an un-asked-for vacation from Madoka-saving, and I'm really interested in exploring her psychology in what functions as downtime for her. Since she's on a timetable the whole time we see her in canon, she really doesn't stop and think or consider... ever. So it'll be interesting to see what happens.
In terms of plans, I was pretty much just going to go with what happens? I try to be flexible, anyway. For starters, there may be some theft for supplies. I feel like getting in trouble with the law has entertaining possibilities. Um, and she'll probably want to use her temporary reprieve for more planning and research. She might be interested in creeping on other magic-users to see if they've got anything powerful enough to defeat Walpurgis Night.
Aaaaand the age-up question: I personally feel it would be best for the character to keep her 14; if I wait to a point in canon when she's 18, it'll change her outlook drastically, and if she just magically ages or something, I... I don't really know how I'd work that? Anyway, I think she'll be okay in an adult-oriented game; she's no innocent, she's capable of taking care of herself, and very little freaks her out. She's young, but she's not childish anymore, I guess you could say?
4. Original Character Supplement
n/a
5. Samples
First-Person:
It has come time to admit to myself that I no longer know what I am doing.
How many times have I tried, now? Twelve? Fourteen? I made the contract to become a Puella Magi to protect her, and still I fail. Is there something, still, that I haven’t tried? I’ve killed all the witches so there’s nothing to fight, I’ve tracked the Incubator to stop him whenever he tries to convince her to make a contract-what is it I’m doing wrong?
Sometimes I wonder if it’s just impossible. But I can’t have tried everything. And I have all the time in the world.
I’ll save her even if I have to repeat this month ten thousand, a million-infinite times. Even if I die trying.
Hang on, Madoka. I’m coming.
Third-Person:
Homura has failed. Again.
What’s left of the being formerly known as Madoka Kaname towers above her in the sky, shadowy arms outstretched toward either horizon. And Homura can already feel the pull, the beckoning of the witch. Join me, she says. In me there is no pain, no suffering. You can rest at last.
It’s almost tempting. A part of her wonders if this is how it’s meant to be. She could be with Madoka forever... but it’s not Madoka, she reminds herself. Just a husk, just a remnant, who will absorb the world into herself to end all suffering. There are so many things I still want to protect, Madoka had told her, what feels like so long ago. She would be horrified.
Homura shakes her head, as if just the motion will clear all doubt away, and stands. The Incubator’s eyes turn to watch her. And she starts walking-away.
“You’re not going to fight?” says Kyuubey.
She doesn’t turn. “This is not my battlefield,” Homura says, and the flow of time reverses around her, enveloping her in the familiar and almost comforting blackness of sleep just before waking.
Opening her eyes after a moment, she almost instinctively rolls sideways off of her hospital bed-it’s become second nature after so many times-but she’s not lying down, and she’s not in the hospital.
In fact, she’s not anywhere she’s ever seen before. It certainly isn’t Mitakihara; the city has strict enough building codes such that you’d never find an area so dilapidated within the city limits (least, before Walpurgis Night; she’s never stuck around to find out what happens after). And, last she checked, Mitakihara wasn’t scorching hot, streets ringing with dry, dehydrated cries for food. Something’s gone wrong. Wronger than wrong.
And-what’s more, she’s managed to end up in her hospital pajamas. Now that’s just adding insult to injury, there.
Homura sighs, and lets the energy of her Soul Gem flow over her, into her, and transforms, at once taking a great leap that carries her up to the rooftops, where she figures it’ll be easier to get around.
First things first: shelter, clothing, and someone to tell her how to find a way back. Back to Mitakihara, and Madoka Kaname.
Third-Person #2:
The small, white furry creature in her hands struggles wildly, but doesn’t make a sound from its mouth as Homura wraps her hands around its neck. Instead:
You! Who are-what are you doing- its voice screams in her head, and then, as it realizes that she’s not gong to let up: Help me! Someone, please! Help me-Madoka-
“No one will come,” says Homura, calmly, curling her fingers closer around its neck, despite the desperate flailing of its rabbit-like back legs. The light of her buckler is still glowing and the world still sits still and grey around her; she estimates maybe she has thirty seconds left of privacy. More than enough. “I know your tricks. Madoka won’t hear you here.”
There’s almost a flash of recognition there. Who-who are you?
That little face with its innocent expression. Like it doesn’t know exactly what it’s doing here. God, it pisses her off. “You can play innocent all you like,” Homura says, through gritted teeth. “I know what you are, though. Incubator. And I’m done playing.”
She snaps his neck.
The time stop fades, with almost the feeling of a sigh, and Homura feels hserself relax at last. She-she’s done it. For the first time in what feels like months-what has been months, she feels safe. Madoka’s safe. She allows herself to lean back against the outer wall of Madoka’s house, to take a deep breath.
Finally, it’s over-
There’s a rustling in the bushes across from her, and Homura can’t quite believe her eyes, because another one springs out, a streak of white across the black of night, only stopping to give her a quizzical look before disappearing into the darkness. She starts to move to give chase-
Madoka. Madoka’s here, and if she leaves, who’s to say it won’t come back, and then all’s for naught.
Shit. She turns, to reassure herself that Madoka is still there in her room, working peacefully at her homework, still safe, when she realizes that Madoka is staring straight at her.
“Who-”
For a moment, Homura wants to cross the gap between them, embrace her, tell her how much it means to her to see her happy and ordinary and alive. But she’s a stranger to this Madoka Kaname, and must continue to be, for her sake. Being her friend will only lead Madoka further into the world of Puella Magi, and that’s the last thing Homura wants.
She lets out a breath. “Madoka. If someone tries to tempt you with miracles, don’t let them manipulate you.”
“…Homu-”
Homura freezes. How could she-
No. No, she can’t stay. Madoka’s fate depends on it. She has to focus. She should have known that it couldn’t possibly be so simple, and that lapse had cost her. It wouldn’t get away so easily next time.
Even if she has to strangle ten thousand of them.