The night of Vodka, box cutters, & violence.. oh my.
For the length, here's the cut. This entry is long, .. well to me it is. Feel free to comment, .. hell just to help me to know that you guys actually read what I write.
So now where to even try to begin to write this. I'll start with the only things I can remember. Friday the 20th was Jess' birthday. Everything was going really well. Her family came over, I got Stacy to come over, Rosa, Josh, Me, April, & Jo were all here. Everything seriously went great. I recorded everything because I couldn't put the camera down for anything. Near the end of the night we gave Jess what we made her. She loved it, .. I filmed that too. Then we were all just sitting around & Josh was being stupid with me like always, .. & he went to hug me .. & he hit me right in the lip .. I seriously paused, I thought he had ripped my piercing out because that's what it felt like. I know this makes me sound like a pussy but I started crying because it hurt SO bad. It bled, blah blah, ... Josh apologized. The night went on.. only getting better. I got a phone call telling me that Heather was still dating that Sandeep guy so I tried to not let it hit me hard becaus I didn't want to ruin the party. I swallowed everything & just dismissed it. We got to my house set up everything, .. & waited on Jess & Josh to get done buying everything we needed. Well, .. I ended up calling Meghan & telling her what I thought about the situation .. & how it pissed me off that she did to Jess what she had done. It ended badly but I was really just .. frustrated. Jess & Josh & Rosa got there, .. we situated everything & I started filming again. They shouldn't have let me have the camera :D So Josh goes to hug me again .. & boom .. right in the lip, .. blood started running down my mouth. I just .. was in pain.. a lot of pain. He told me he wouldn't come near me the rest of the night.. I agreed, .. & we laughed it off.
So around 11ish we all headed out to the tent, .. Heather called, .. & I was in a really good mood, .. & I just wanted to be near her. She finally got there around 12ish, April left to get Chris .. & Jess & Josh had already started drinking. Here's where everything started to fall apart,...
Heather gets there & automatically lays down, .. I should have known why but I didn't think about it all. Everything still went really well. Rosa kept telling me to just drink juice & now I wish I would have listened. Heather ended up telling me what was wrong .. & because I was mad about the phone call earlier .. I started drinking, .. not really thinking about what she had told me. Shot after shot I got more and more frustrated that she wouldn't talk to me, .. & Josh just kept giving me the side eye .. like he knew what was wrong with me. So finally after some shots, .. I went over & layed down with Heather. We ended up under the blankets just talking, .. & I asked her about Sandeep because I coudln't take it anymore. She told me she wanted to be with me forever.. so why would she fuck me over again .. & that she loved me. So we started kissing & like .. we both started getting in really good moods. Well all of a sudden.. I start hearing everyone saying shit about me & her ruining Jess' party. Because I know how I am when I get mad .. I just layed there. I knew what would happen if I would turn around .. I knew it & so did Heather.. so we just kept talking. It got worse & worse.. a little bit more every second. Finally Jess ended up over us .. saying we ruined her birthday .. & I snapped .. I told everyone not to talk to me anymore .. & I got up to leave. Just to calm down. Just to walk outside to take a breath. Well the next thing I knew Josh was grabbing my shirt, .. yelling @ me to go outside, .. like pulling me. I was like Josh, .. get off me. Then I got up to walk outside with Heather because she wanted to take me with her to leave. Josh ends up in my face, .. nose to nose with me, yelling. I kept telling him to just leave me alone, .. just to get off me. Out of nowhere he starts pushing up against me, pushing me further and further back & starts going "You going to fucking swing on me, .. HUH, you going to fucking swing on me?". So finally I just pushed him, .. I didn't mean to push him hard, I just wanted him out of my face, .. he flew across the tent knocking out the light & landing on Jess. Heather grabbed me, .. I'm crying, .. everyones yelling. Josh ends up out of the tent screaming @ the top of his lungs @ 3 in the morning drunk off his ass to me. Telling me that Heather's a bitch & how she's fucking that guy & blah blah. So Heather just grabs me & holds me. We here Josh's truck start up. Heather freaks out because she has him blocked in & knowing how he was he wouldn't hesitate to hit her car. She's getting in her car & Jess stops her, ... meanwhile Josh is reving his engine & starts backing up, .... so I started hitting his tailgate telling him to stop. He jumps out of the car, once again into my face, .. Heather speeds off. Josh jumps in his truck & takes off. Next thing I know Rosa is yelling @ me to get Jess out of the car, .. because she's getting ready to leave to. She rolled the window up & went to start the car, I blanked out, .. & started hitting her window .. as hard as I could .. I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't feel the glass .. nothing. I knew if I did it hard enough Jess would get out of the car.. & she did.. & Rosa took her keys. Jess walked out & Rosa grabbed me because I had lost it. I hugged Rosa forever.. which calmed me down so much. If Rosa wouldn't have been there .. I don't want to know what would have happened. . I really don't. So, .. April's gone now, .. mad @ me for what was said .. which I don't blame her for. Heather left, Josh left & Jess was gone. Heather & April both hadn't drank anythihg, .. but Josh had. So I'm freaking out. Finally I see Josh pull in.. I walk up to the truck .. not caring @ all what's goign to happen.. as long as I could get him to park & stay @ my house. So he's yelling @ me non-stop .. & finally I get him out of the truck .. & Rosa backed his truck up & took his keys. At some point he got them back & went to leave again. I stopped him again, .. which resulted in him putting his ciggarette out in his hand.. telling me he would be there when Heather wouldn't be, .. & screaming @ me. Jess came over & he rolled her arm up in the window.. I finally got his keys out of the truck without him seeing.. & I hid them in the trunk of Jess' car. I come back over & he's locked the doors & has started slitting his wrists with a box cutter. Finally I got him to stop, .. & he threw the box cutter @ me. So I didn't know what to do anymore. Rosa took her shirt off & we wrapped it around his wrist. It's okay she had on a jacket. Ended up in the tent trying to talk everything out. He told me he had chased Heather home.. going over 80 or so. I couldn't believe it .. so I started calling Heather.. with no luck. I was hoping more than anything she was asleep. I thought the tent went well .. but it ended up with him wanting to leave.. but I wasn't going to let him leave drunk .. so he starts hitting his window trying to break the glass yelling to give him his keys. I wouldn't do it, .. I was like Josh, .. if you want your keys just wait until you sober up .. & I'll give them to you .. & you can leave. He gets in my face & is like if I have to fight you to get my keys I will. In my head i'm just waiting for the first hit .. that would lead us both to end up hurting each other really bad. I kept my guard & just stood there, .. trying to block him out. Finally after forever I gave him his keys .. he sped off & told us not to trust a fool or something. We went inside.. I talked to Rosa.. Jess fell asleep. If it wouldn't have been for Rosa .. I don't want to know what would have happened that night .. period. Rosa.. I love you. Don't you ever forget that.
Finally talked to Heather the next day .. she told me she had to go 100 just to get away from Josh, .. I was pissed. I was worried @ the same time. I felt awful, .. I didn't know what to do. The day got calmer.. it was still thick with tension. April came over to give Jess her present .. but didn't talk to me. I don't blame her, .. but I do wish it wasn't like that. I love April .. she has no idea. I don't want us to fall apart.. I wish she knew that. We ended up with Rosa.. all night again. Doing nothing.
None of us had talken to Josh until today, he's coming over tomorrow.. I don't know how that's going to be... I can only hope for something good.
I love Heather, .. no matter what happens .. she's my world.. & it will stay that way.
The week got better, .. there were random door invasions.. 411 calls & running stop lights. Seeing old friends @ Shell around 12 in the morning.. catching up & exchanging numbers. Roanoke trips with my girl <3 Falling asleep in the back with her hand in mine. <33 Wishing for those moments to never stop, .. because they make up for every bad thing that has ever happened. Walking her outside, kissing her bye, .. <33 My life ... she makes it worth everything. I love you, Heather Renee. If you hold on I promise I won't ever let go.
Here's your entry... a perfect vision @ how some friends, .. no matter what .. can never be torn apart in the end. I love you all .. the good & the bad moments make it what it is.
So now where to even try to begin to write this. I'll start with the only things I can remember. Friday the 20th was Jess' birthday. Everything was going really well. Her family came over, I got Stacy to come over, Rosa, Josh, Me, April, & Jo were all here. Everything seriously went great. I recorded everything because I couldn't put the camera down for anything. Near the end of the night we gave Jess what we made her. She loved it, .. I filmed that too. Then we were all just sitting around & Josh was being stupid with me like always, .. & he went to hug me .. & he hit me right in the lip .. I seriously paused, I thought he had ripped my piercing out because that's what it felt like. I know this makes me sound like a pussy but I started crying because it hurt SO bad. It bled, blah blah, ... Josh apologized. The night went on.. only getting better. I got a phone call telling me that Heather was still dating that Sandeep guy so I tried to not let it hit me hard becaus I didn't want to ruin the party. I swallowed everything & just dismissed it. We got to my house set up everything, .. & waited on Jess & Josh to get done buying everything we needed. Well, .. I ended up calling Meghan & telling her what I thought about the situation .. & how it pissed me off that she did to Jess what she had done. It ended badly but I was really just .. frustrated. Jess & Josh & Rosa got there, .. we situated everything & I started filming again. They shouldn't have let me have the camera :D So Josh goes to hug me again .. & boom .. right in the lip, .. blood started running down my mouth. I just .. was in pain.. a lot of pain. He told me he wouldn't come near me the rest of the night.. I agreed, .. & we laughed it off.
So around 11ish we all headed out to the tent, .. Heather called, .. & I was in a really good mood, .. & I just wanted to be near her. She finally got there around 12ish, April left to get Chris .. & Jess & Josh had already started drinking. Here's where everything started to fall apart,...
Heather gets there & automatically lays down, .. I should have known why but I didn't think about it all. Everything still went really well. Rosa kept telling me to just drink juice & now I wish I would have listened. Heather ended up telling me what was wrong .. & because I was mad about the phone call earlier .. I started drinking, .. not really thinking about what she had told me. Shot after shot I got more and more frustrated that she wouldn't talk to me, .. & Josh just kept giving me the side eye .. like he knew what was wrong with me. So finally after some shots, .. I went over & layed down with Heather. We ended up under the blankets just talking, .. & I asked her about Sandeep because I coudln't take it anymore. She told me she wanted to be with me forever.. so why would she fuck me over again .. & that she loved me. So we started kissing & like .. we both started getting in really good moods. Well all of a sudden.. I start hearing everyone saying shit about me & her ruining Jess' party. Because I know how I am when I get mad .. I just layed there. I knew what would happen if I would turn around .. I knew it & so did Heather.. so we just kept talking. It got worse & worse.. a little bit more every second. Finally Jess ended up over us .. saying we ruined her birthday .. & I snapped .. I told everyone not to talk to me anymore .. & I got up to leave. Just to calm down. Just to walk outside to take a breath. Well the next thing I knew Josh was grabbing my shirt, .. yelling @ me to go outside, .. like pulling me. I was like Josh, .. get off me. Then I got up to walk outside with Heather because she wanted to take me with her to leave. Josh ends up in my face, .. nose to nose with me, yelling. I kept telling him to just leave me alone, .. just to get off me. Out of nowhere he starts pushing up against me, pushing me further and further back & starts going "You going to fucking swing on me, .. HUH, you going to fucking swing on me?". So finally I just pushed him, .. I didn't mean to push him hard, I just wanted him out of my face, .. he flew across the tent knocking out the light & landing on Jess. Heather grabbed me, .. I'm crying, .. everyones yelling. Josh ends up out of the tent screaming @ the top of his lungs @ 3 in the morning drunk off his ass to me. Telling me that Heather's a bitch & how she's fucking that guy & blah blah. So Heather just grabs me & holds me. We here Josh's truck start up. Heather freaks out because she has him blocked in & knowing how he was he wouldn't hesitate to hit her car. She's getting in her car & Jess stops her, ... meanwhile Josh is reving his engine & starts backing up, .... so I started hitting his tailgate telling him to stop. He jumps out of the car, once again into my face, .. Heather speeds off. Josh jumps in his truck & takes off. Next thing I know Rosa is yelling @ me to get Jess out of the car, .. because she's getting ready to leave to. She rolled the window up & went to start the car, I blanked out, .. & started hitting her window .. as hard as I could .. I couldn't feel anything. I couldn't feel the glass .. nothing. I knew if I did it hard enough Jess would get out of the car.. & she did.. & Rosa took her keys. Jess walked out & Rosa grabbed me because I had lost it. I hugged Rosa forever.. which calmed me down so much. If Rosa wouldn't have been there .. I don't want to know what would have happened. . I really don't. So, .. April's gone now, .. mad @ me for what was said .. which I don't blame her for. Heather left, Josh left & Jess was gone. Heather & April both hadn't drank anythihg, .. but Josh had. So I'm freaking out. Finally I see Josh pull in.. I walk up to the truck .. not caring @ all what's goign to happen.. as long as I could get him to park & stay @ my house. So he's yelling @ me non-stop .. & finally I get him out of the truck .. & Rosa backed his truck up & took his keys. At some point he got them back & went to leave again. I stopped him again, .. which resulted in him putting his ciggarette out in his hand.. telling me he would be there when Heather wouldn't be, .. & screaming @ me. Jess came over & he rolled her arm up in the window.. I finally got his keys out of the truck without him seeing.. & I hid them in the trunk of Jess' car. I come back over & he's locked the doors & has started slitting his wrists with a box cutter. Finally I got him to stop, .. & he threw the box cutter @ me. So I didn't know what to do anymore. Rosa took her shirt off & we wrapped it around his wrist. It's okay she had on a jacket. Ended up in the tent trying to talk everything out. He told me he had chased Heather home.. going over 80 or so. I couldn't believe it .. so I started calling Heather.. with no luck. I was hoping more than anything she was asleep. I thought the tent went well .. but it ended up with him wanting to leave.. but I wasn't going to let him leave drunk .. so he starts hitting his window trying to break the glass yelling to give him his keys. I wouldn't do it, .. I was like Josh, .. if you want your keys just wait until you sober up .. & I'll give them to you .. & you can leave. He gets in my face & is like if I have to fight you to get my keys I will. In my head i'm just waiting for the first hit .. that would lead us both to end up hurting each other really bad. I kept my guard & just stood there, .. trying to block him out. Finally after forever I gave him his keys .. he sped off & told us not to trust a fool or something. We went inside.. I talked to Rosa.. Jess fell asleep. If it wouldn't have been for Rosa .. I don't want to know what would have happened that night .. period. Rosa.. I love you. Don't you ever forget that.
Finally talked to Heather the next day .. she told me she had to go 100 just to get away from Josh, .. I was pissed. I was worried @ the same time. I felt awful, .. I didn't know what to do. The day got calmer.. it was still thick with tension. April came over to give Jess her present .. but didn't talk to me. I don't blame her, .. but I do wish it wasn't like that. I love April .. she has no idea. I don't want us to fall apart.. I wish she knew that. We ended up with Rosa.. all night again. Doing nothing.
None of us had talken to Josh until today, he's coming over tomorrow.. I don't know how that's going to be... I can only hope for something good.
I love Heather, .. no matter what happens .. she's my world.. & it will stay that way.
The week got better, .. there were random door invasions.. 411 calls & running stop lights. Seeing old friends @ Shell around 12 in the morning.. catching up & exchanging numbers. Roanoke trips with my girl <3 Falling asleep in the back with her hand in mine. <33 Wishing for those moments to never stop, .. because they make up for every bad thing that has ever happened. Walking her outside, kissing her bye, .. <33 My life ... she makes it worth everything. I love you, Heather Renee. If you hold on I promise I won't ever let go.
Here's your entry... a perfect vision @ how some friends, .. no matter what .. can never be torn apart in the end. I love you all .. the good & the bad moments make it what it is.