[Closed log] Temari, Kakashi (part 2)
Characters: Temari, Kakashi (closed)
Date: Mid-summer
Setting: Port Royale tavern
Summary: (Part 2) Temari sneaks out of the house one night and has a chance meeting with Kakashi at a local tavern. Kakashi, in lieu of a Sasuke, gives her his revenge speech, and Temari, wanting to get away from her life, finds an opportunity.
Warnings: Some language, consumption of alcohol, and a few innuendos.
Reaching into her coat pocket, she grabbed a couple coins that simply felt right, and mimicked his action, placing it next to her empty glass. She hoped it was enough, preferrably more than needed so that she wasn't shorting anyone.
"We shall," she nodded, sliding off the stool. Perhaps another benefit of not being required to act like a lady was that she didn't have to wait for anyone so that she could sit, stand, leave, or do any number of things. She was able to simply do them.
Sidestepping drunkards and barmaids with practiced ease, Kakashi weaved his way through the growing crowd towards the tavern's front, checking occasionally in the corner of his eye to make sure Temari was following.
Once outside, he slowed his pace to swiftly fall back beside her. The night was a relatively clear one, the near-empty navy sky holding more clouds than the streets did people. There was enough moon to see by even without the orange glow from the tavern and inn windows that fell upon the road; the sight hit Kakashi before the humidity did, but that was simply out of habit and instinct.
"I've always found a bit of cruel irony in this," he said suddenly, watching the buildings across the street. "When one feels low, he often seeks a friendly drink to try and forget his circumstances...and yet he's usually just reminded of his own misery by finding that others are in the same." As if to contradict him, a loud laugh erupted just behind them, breaking through the open window of the pub they had just left. Kakashi smiled and cocked his head again. "Usually," he repeated. "Regardless, it's often successful. But I am not appeased in the least to learn that life has treated you so unfairly, especially to the degree where I can sympathize, and neither do you seem very comforted by my hardships." Away from the crowd and the noise and the bustle, his mind had returned to their previous discussion; perhaps because he could think more clearly out here, or perhaps because he could think of nothing else to say. Whatever the reason, he had said it, and he meant it.
Following carefully in Kakashi's footsteps, Temari managed to get to the door safely, with a small sigh of relief and without a glance back. The warm air was not much of a change from the tavern's atmosphere, but at the very least it was fresh and did not smell strongly of unpleasant things. Drawing in a deep breath of night air and exhaling slowly, she fell into step as they meandered the streets, with no particular destination in mind. For all it was worth, it was actually proving to be rather relaxing. She must have forgotten the joys of such simple things, caught up in complicated matters of social life.
She mused over his statements, returning back to their previous conversation, finding his view interesting, if not a bit pessimistic. She felt a small twinge of remorse for making him feel bad for her, though. She really was not in that horrible of a situation, not one where her every day life was affected, and she managed to get by. She could only hope he wasn't sincere, no matter how much he sounded it. She herself felt a sort of soreness for him that she normally did not feel, but she was determined not to let it get to her and ruin her mood, by appealing to a natural propensity to see things in the worst possible way.
"But you know," she said finally, "we also take comfort in knowing that we are not alone. To be alone in the world with our problems is all the more despairing, but to have someone who sympathizes is a comfort all its own." Her attention wandered, from the street, to the surrounding buildings, and to the night sky, before finally settling back on him. "And while I am humbled that you would take my woes so seriously, I am inclined to ask that you don't. You might feel a certain understanding, and certain common sadness, and that's simply human nature...but I would rather you know not that life has been cruel to me, but to so many other people, me, you, perhaps the majority of people. Because who really lives a perfect life?"
And here a little bit more guilt settled in, feeling as though she had misled him into actually feeling pity for her, when that had not been her intention at all. And perhaps he had assumed that there was more to her story than she'd let on, a natural progression when discussing one's life with a stranger.
"And I suppose," she finally added, making up her mind, "that I do not want you to feel bad for me, because I haven't quite told you everything just yet."
Kakashi had made his comment idly and without really thinking too much about it, but Temari's response, just as serious--if not more--worked with the suddenly quiet and calm atmosphere to quickly return his mood to its usual impassivity. Despite his humor and his nature, he knew how to set both aside when the situation called for it, and he was receiving that impression now. He felt, rather than heard, the change of feeling in her voice, very much unlike her flirtatious behavior moments before. It occurred to him that her suggestion could have merely been a ruse to get them out of the tavern and nothing more, but even were that the case, he had to respect her for it.
He listened to her speak without interrupting, and then at her last comment glanced at her. "Oh?" he said curiously, and tilted his head to try and show that he wasn't being skeptical. Her use of the word "yet" had him guessing that she was going to say more, or was at least considering it, and he had nothing against it. Kakashi had never been one for lengthy conversations, but he made for a good listener; and he found an interest in Temari that most lacked--as far as he was concerned--and that didn't simply stem from her position as an attractive woman. In short, he was, actually, interested in what she had to say.
Perhaps just blurting such things out was not the best way to go about it, and there was probably a much more graceful way to have presented the situation, but there was no use in trying to skirt the issue. She had found, so often, that no matter how quickly or slowly you got to the point, the reaction was always the same. At the very least, he seemed interested in whatever it was she had to say, even though she hadn't even presented a topic yet, and it encouraged her to continue.
"I simply meant that..." She paused, biting her lip while her mind formulated the gentlest way to put it. While she may receive the same reaction regardless of what she said, she could at least make an attempt. It couldn't hurt, at the very least. "Perhaps I'm not everything you might think I am."
Kakashi resisted another slighter smile. Unless she claimed to be of a blood higher than the one he had guessed, or some completely outrageous story altogether, he doubted he would be too caught off guard by whatever she was going to say.
"Few people are," he said matter-of-factly, but again with some lightness in his tone.
Having no intention of bragging, she chose her words carefully. After all, no one liked a braggart very much, but she could think of very few ways to phrase that she had com from a wealthy family without sounding as such. She would have to hope that an alternate route would still get the same point across, without sounding as such.
"I don't know how to say this," she admitted, "but if you go the other direction down this exact street, for about four or five blocks, you'll come to a rather large house, two floors, and a sign out front that reads 'Haynsworth'. That is where I live, if you are familiar with the place, and if not...well, you seem more than capable of gathering what I am trying to say from my description."
Even that much was rather embarrassing to say, and she would have liked to justify her reasons, but she waited for his reaction before she assumed that he would be bothered. For all she knew, and from the sound of it, she might not even care, but before anything went any further, she thought it best to be upfront. It was, to her, the easiest way to avoid any unnecessary conflict or confusion.
Ah. Kakashi didn't know the exact house she had described, but he recognized the area. Not surprising, but nonetheless impressive, assuming she was telling the truth, as he had a feeling she was.
As worn as his earlier memories were, Kakashi usually had little trouble picking out the higher class in a crowd. Temari, however, had thwarted his senses somewhat, possibly because she might have been specifically aiming to conceal her background as well as she could, but even that shouldn't have made the guess too difficult. There was also the possibility that their similarities had caused Kakashi to regard her as like enough to himself that he hadn't been sure where to place her, much like how he wasn't sure just where to place himself.
The birth, name, and upbringing of a noble; the crimes, skills, and life of a pirate. His personality wandered somewhere along the line between those two.
"I know of the name," he said slowly, casually, as he continued to eye the opposite side of the street. "It's one to take pride in, I would say. Certainly nothing to be ashamed of," he added, recalling her hesitancy to admit it.
"I'm relieved that you understand. I don't mind if you'd prefer to keep your secrets to yourself, I simply didn't wish for you to regard me under...false pretenses."
It was a relief to not hear any note of anger in his voice as he acknowledged what she had said, and she discarded the notion of having to defend herself and her actions.
"And thank you," she said, flushing ever so slightly in modesty. She wasn't exactly what you would call a blushing maiden, but his compliment seemed heartfelt enough to entice just a slight rosey hue into her cheeks. On a bit of a daring whim, she moved in a little closer and made an attempt at slipping her arm around his. She could give no real reason as to why she did it, other than perhaps force of habit, but she did it none the less.
Kakashi noted the change of color in her face, only just visible in the low light, and accepted her gesture, welcoming the contact as he slipped adeptly into the proper posture without even thinking. He had to wonder why she had seemed so keen on telling him what she had--besides the reason she stated and what he figured was simple obligation--and whether she was going to add to it. After a moment, he decided it didn't matter so much what he guessed, as she would say more if she planned to.
"I own few secrets worth keeping...even fewer worth telling," he said in response to her second statement, choosing to accept her gratitude in silence. "You might have already guessed anything of real interest about my life, so there would be little left for me to confess in that case." Stealing a glimpse over his shoulder, Kakashi went on offhandedly, "Seeing as how the house you've described lies, as you said, in the other direction, I assume I haven't been invited along to simply accompany you home?"
She would have to further assume that she was right in her assumptions by his reply, something which might have made her uneasy otherwise, but the general tone since they'd left had been one of sincerity. She really couldn't think of a logical reason to distrust him...even a lie at this point would do no more harm than deceiving her, and she could think of many worse fates.
"I don't wish to go home," she stated simply, more calm than anything. "I don't enjoy it there...and I don't enjoy the lifestyle. Although I must say, moonlighting as a commoner is something new to me, as is probably...very obvious, really." She gave herself a quick glance, noting that even the servant's clothes she'd borrowed looked rather nice in comparison to many of the men in the tavern. "Then again," she added, turning her attention back to him, "I hadn't banked on meeting such a charming gentleman who would so cunningly steal my interests."
Kakashi couldn't truthfully comment on that first part; not without revealing more than he was comfortable with. However much Temari was choosing to tell, Kakashi was much more reserved in what he said. The issue wasn't one of trust, but of his own reluctance to face what he did on a daily basis more than he had to.
"Nor did I on meeting a noblewoman of such humility who would so patiently put up with me for as long as you have." Kakashi also took a brief look at her attire. "And new though you may be to the process, I personally think the look fits you well." He hesitated. As easily as he could have taken her last statement and turned the conversation in another direction, her first demanded some sort of input. Kakashi was hardly one to give advice, particularly on a matter like this one, but she had freely brought it up, after all, and so could not be too opposed to his voicing his opinion. "As for your lifestyle, you said yourself that no one lives a perfect life...but from what I've seen, you're a lovely, respectable, well-mannered woman. What's to stop you from taking charge of your life if your father isn't around to regulate it?" He knew her circumstances couldn't be as easy as that, but he only had so much information to work with.
Temari shook her head softly. She'd thought about it before, of course, but it never seemed quite that easy. Just running away from home, striking out on her own, what she most desired to do when she had no survival skills to her name...it didn't seem logical. She wasn't even confident in her cooking skills, the result of years of being waited on by a cook staff and maids. And there was no being contented in that house for very long, no matter how kind her surrogate family may be.
"Well I can't stay there and be happy, that's for certain. But I can't leave, either. Where would I go, what would I do?" It was more a rhetorical question than anything, one she didn't expect him to have an answer to, and one she didn't expect anyone but her to even be able to answer in the first place. "As soon as I left, I would have nowhere to go! And that would be just something, wouldn't it? I certainly can't live much of a life going from tavern to tavern, that's for certain."
Kakashi was silent. She obviously hadn't meant that she merely wanted to get away from this town, but away from her life. Still, she was right: it certainly wasn't in her power to just stand up and abandon her class completely, especially for anything lower and especially if she was alone. As young as he had been when he had left his old lifestyle, he'd had guidance (more or less. Lessons were lessons in the end, however roughly taught.); without that, he would have died in no time. The road he lived on now was nothing like the one he had been born into. It had its own laws, its own breeds, and nothing to enforce either of them. It was a road that demanded independence to survive, but at the same time, those who took it needed leadership, if only at first.
But if she wasn't alone...
No.
Kakashi had only one real, solid loyalty in the world, and for all he knew, it was gone, gone to his years of fruitless searching and hoping. He had lost the first and only person other than himself that he had ever been truly responsible for, possibly leaving her for dead or worse. He was in no position to chance that happening again--no amount of victories, experience, or lives saved since then had convinced him otherwise.
"You must have received some marriage proposals," he tried. "That's one manner of changing your position."
"Oh, yes, because living in an even larger mansion with even more servants to allow me to become fat and lazy will really help," she said, trying to sound more amused than she was mildly annoyed. Not with him, of course. He couldn't have known such a thing would get to her, but the proposals and courting were a particular point of bitterness. If she'd ever had to list the things that annoyed her most about living amongst the aristocracy, that would certainly be among the top things, if not the first. "Tell me, when was the last time you had some pompous ass sending you dress after dress, jewel after jewel, when you actually despised him and everything he stood for, but had to play nice lest you disgrace your family? No, that is one of the many things I seek to escape. The majority of those men are disgusting snobs, all convinced that they are too good for you, when they obviously haven't glanced in the mirror lately."
She hadn't intended to go on such a tangent, but it was not hard to get her going on such topics.
"I do very much appreciate that you are trying to convince me of how wonderful my life must be, I can tell your intentions are good, but I don't think you could ever relate," she continued much more calmly. "It must seem grand to you, and of course I don't know that any other life would be any better...I simply know the one I lead now is unbearably unsatisfying."
Her rambling just about made him chuckle, but he abstained out of respect. He had spent less time around noblewomen than he had noblemen, so perhaps he had formed the idea that all ladies in Temari's position loved being courted and flattered. If only for curiosity's sake, Kakashi couldn't help wondering if, had his life turned out differently, she would have also considered him to be a pompous ass if he had tried to win her. Then again, that was almost what he had done tonight; while he hadn't won her hand, he had earned her trust and her companionship. Marriage was built partly on that--the happier ones were, anyway.
"No, I imagine I can't very well understand what you're going through," he agreed. Had he really been so inclined, he could have asked if marrying an officer in the Navy would better suit her tastes, but he didn't bother. He was getting the impression that she wasn't looking for verbal comfort, at least not from him, and there wasn't much he could say to give her that even if she did want it. "Why not take a trip?" he suggested. "Get out of Port Royale for a bit, see the world while you're younger and before you have even more responsibilities. Perhaps not a permanent solution, but you could enjoy it for a while. Surely you can afford that?"
"Monetarily? Yes. Time wise? Perhaps not so much. I would, of course, need a chaperone...ladies of high standing simply don't sail the ocean alone, unattended," she replied, somewhat dejectedly. "I cannot tell you how much I would love to sail the ocean, see the world, but I foresee it being just the same as the crossing over here."
'It's not safe for you on deck, milady', 'please stay in your cabin, milady', do this, do that, don't do this, don't do that--that was all she heard, being kept from doing anything of interest to her, and being relegated to the most unexciting of things. And after the first time she was caught, she was not even allowed around the ships crew, which nearly incensed her. She couldn't understand how simply listening to their tales and sailor's lore was going to cause any harm. Perhaps if any of them had actually tried anything, she might have understood, but she enjoyed their conversation much more than the ones she was forced to make with the captain and some of the other noblemen traveling with them.
"It's like...it's much like how you could take a caged bird to the top of the highest cliff, to the top of the highest mountain, and although you would be so very high up...it would still be nothing like flying. No, for that you would have to release it from the cage, and only then would it truly know flying."
"A valid point," Kakashi admitted. "But say that bird discovered that the freedom she yearned for was not everything she thought it was. Then she might want to return to the way things were, but after having tasted freedom, pleasant or not, her cage would then seem all the smaller. It's a risky maneuver either way."
"I've considered that," she said with a nod. She'd thought long and hard on all sorts of things, and all the implications and possible outcomes. "What if I never try though? Then I shall never know what could have been, and I shall live the rest of my life with that thought! It's not something so easily resolved, so I think...the easiest course of action is to simply choose and go through with it. Sitting here in indecision won't do much. Unfortunately, the choice I desire to make is currently out of reach."
Remaining silent, Kakashi returned to his previous train of thought. He couldn't simply fulfill her desire and take her off--his life was not one where he could take on such a responsibility on a whim.
Not for an extended period of time, but...perhaps temporarily. If he accepted the position as captain, that would make the circumstances much smoother and, as far as she was concerned, safer. And she wasn't a child, for one thing; she even had a weapon on her, and regardless of whether she could actually use it, just bringing it along was an intelligent move. He could give her a sample of what she wanted, if only so she wouldn't always have to wonder. It was better to have loved and lost, or so they said--couldn't that apply here as well? She had apparently prepared for disappointment, so she seemed aware of her possibilities. Besides, there was nothing to say she would agree, and if she didn't, he could at least say that he had offered.
"So in short, even a brief bit of true freedom is better than none?" he inquired, voice carefully neutral.
Temari pondered for a short moment if that really was a more concise way of putting it, lest she give the wrong idea. But that really was the long and short of it. Something was better than nothing, and at least she'd have the benefit of knowing.
"Yes, I suppose you could say that," she replied, then quickly added, "but of course, that only stands true for me. You can't know well enough yet to know that I am the type who'd rather know what I was missing than never know at all."
"Hm." His mind returned to the point it had made about her weapon, and for a moment he pondered. "Bold words for a fittingly bold spirit..." He had been staring off into the distance, but now his eyes moved to find her face, and then briefly down to the hilt on her left side before returning again to the street. "So bold, in fact, that I'm inclined to believe you could be quite the terror with such a fine blade." Kakashi said it casually, curiously, hoping she would oblige and allow him to learn a little about her skill.
“I like to think I have some skill, yes,” she said slowly, almost cautiously. She liked to think that she had a lot of skill. But at the back of her mind, she understood that what she had wasn’t skill, but potential. What she lacked was practical experience. As such, she chose her words cautiously. Generally, she would be one to brag, but it also occurred to her that this man could and just might have much more up his sleeve than she did.
“I also think that there is a lot I could stand to learn,” she added, finally deciding on the proper wording. It pained her pride to admit it, but she could not bring herself to embellish, lest she get caught in the act. Getting caught in a lie was far more embarrassing than admitting you only had mediocre skills with a sword. “The sorts of things that you simply can’t learn when you have to be at dinner or a upscale party in an hour.”
Unless a swordfight interrupts your dinner, Kakashi added swiftly to himself, but said nothing on that out loud. He was glad she was being honest, as he would much rather underestimate than overestimate her abilities. There was also a chance she was being modest and downplaying her skill--and, of course, the ever present possibility that she was lying completely--but all he could really do at this point was trust her. It was the same he would be asking of her, after all (truthfully, he already was asking by being alone with her like this), so it was a fair trade.
"And would you say you could hold your own, should the worst possibility occur and you find yourself having to do so?" His tone was light and ever casual, but he no longer attempted to conceal or mask his question behind general curiosity, as he had already drawn close to the intention behind it.
There was a drawn out silence as Temari thought how best to answer this question, as it was really something she hadn’t thought of before, not on a serious level. She’d dreamt of suddenly having skills she did not possess, and fantasized about what she might be able to accomplish if she had them, but she had never stopped to think about whether she could hold her own in a real duel. There were so many factors...someone would honestly be trying to defeat her for reasons other than mere practice, but she would also be trying to win in turn, possibly for her life, and she’d never experienced that. The terms of life and death weren’t ones she was intimately familiar with. But the question was also specific-it wasn’t a question of whether or not she could be victorious, but if she could hold her own, rendering in her mind as merely defending herself, rather than taking the offense as well.
“If there were no other options, but to fight? Well then, I don’t think there’s any question about it…of course I could. I would have to, wouldn’t I?” Perseverance was just another thing she prided herself on, and while it was entirely unproven, she firmly believed that she could at least defend herself well enough, even against someone with more experience. Desperation, she had heard, could work wonders, and so she continued, just to clarify. “But of course…that is assuming the alternative would mean losing my life.”
A fair enough deduction. Hardly one to take as an answer to what Kakashi was thinking, but it was one of several factors. Her response was better than a flat "yes" or "no" (although he really hadn't expected the latter), and while he could have pointed out that running away, surrendering, were occasional options, he resisted. That was delving deeper into the matter than he cared to go or thought necessary.
"One last question, then, if I may." Kakashi looked at her again, but this time held his gaze steady. Other than that serious look, his posture and voice and everything else remained as they had. "Do you trust me, Miss Temari, enough to believe me when I say that I have only the best of intentions in regard to your interests?"
“Last question?”
Temari hadn’t been aware she was being quizzed or pointedly questioned, just that they were having a simple conversation. It wasn’t so much a concern as it was something to make her mildly curious, but she would at least give him the chance to explain himself, pending her answer, an answer she could not easily come up with. Normally, it would take months or even years to actually trust a person. There was no real way of knowing if the face this man had shown her tonight was his real one or merely a façade, regardless of what his intent for falsifying himself would be. As well, Temari wasn’t the most easy to trust, and could name very few people that she did thing to intend only the best for her. But for whatever reason, she felt more comfortable around him, more lax about what she let slip. Perhaps it was the comfort of a stranger, of someone she could shrug off if she said too much. And if he intended to cause her harm, he would have done it long ago, when they’d been safe from prying eyes and ears. And impulsive as she could be, she found little reason to believe he had bad intentions.
“Well, only a fool would trust someone they just met that much,” she said, as if she were saying that the sky was blue or the ocean was deep. Still, she had a smile on her face. “So I would suppose…that makes me the king of fools.”
Looking ahead again, Kakashi also smiled, but briefly, and his expression slipped easily back to its default impassive as he went on. "I'm not sure whether it would mean much to you, and if by chance it does not, forgive me for wasting valuable time with you by voicing the matter." He paused, considering his words after simply buying time with his last. "My ship is set to leave port in the morning," he informed her, using the same tone that she just had. If she hadn't already guessed so far as to whether he would have ties with a ship, he figured it couldn't come as too much of a surprise, and so he didn't elaborate on that area of the matter. "I've no intent to go much farther than the Caribbean, and plan to port back here in a few days' time." Another pause, to let her consider that.
Slowing a bit in his pace, Kakashi concluded, "I've room enough for one more." That was an understatement. "And while trust is not the only issue at hand, I nonetheless thought it worth mentioning, given your circumstances, as I would be perfectly willing to take you along and enjoy your company a while longer if you deemed it worth the effort." He said all this without looking at her, not entirely sure what to expect in terms of an answer but prepared for anything.
It was a big decision to be making, even if saying yes would not guarantee that he would take her in the end. But still, what she said now could easily start in motion a chain of events that would ultimately culminate into running away from home, if only for a few days. She was not at all opposed to the idea on a personal level, but at the same time, there was her foster family to consider, as well as any further conditions he might decide to name, of which she was not yet aware. Her heart would have her say yes, unconditionally, but in such matters, her mind won out.
“I appreciate the offer, and I’ll say that initially, I’m agreeable to it, however…don’t you think that space would be better filled by a more apt crew member?” She had slowed with him, to a leisurely amble, a comfortable stride at which she could consider things a little better, without fear of tripping. “What I mean is…in only a few days time, any skills that I do have would be absolutely useless. I am neither strong, nor anything of a navigator, nor a cook, nor can I entertain. I can sew, but I don’t imagine that would be anything anyone might need, and I suppose I can clean just as well as anyone else. Is there something you intend for me to do? I would simply hate to be dead weight, just because you’ve taken pity on me.”
Kakashi had given the invitation with the intention of treating her as a guest--ironically--and so it hadn't crossed his mind to make her do anything. Even now, he would never dream of making her clean up after any of his men, and in truth, any positions with a job to do had already been filled, although there was always room for another pair of hands. While there was the possibility that she had only said such in an attempt to tell him no in a manner that wasn't too straightforward, he didn't think it fit her.
"It's not so much a dead weight, or pity," he replied evenly. "I offered out of gratitude for the camaraderie you've given me tonight, and was expecting nothing in return after this point. But," he obliged, "if you're concerned as to whether you'll find such an outing lacking in activity, I'm sure something can be found. You say you can't navigate or cook, but I know several men who can and shouldn't be opposed to letting you observe a bit of either, were you interested. And if you're really so set on contributing, there are a few small jobs around the ship that you could help on if you chose.
"Of course, I understand if you wouldn't feel comfortable. Leaving your life on the word of stranger, even temporarily, is not a matter to decide on lightly or in too much haste. But as I said, I deemed it worth mentioning regardless."
“A learning experience, then, would you say?”
Under those terms, perhaps she could accept that she would be otherwise useless and in the way. Of course logically, running off with a stranger was never a good idea. But if she ever wanted to get out, it was rather unlikely that it would be with someone with whom she was intimately familiar. Really, it would be a stranger either way, although this one had shown her at least a little bit of trustworthiness. A chance like this may never present itself again, and her impulsiveness kicked in.
“The idea does not make me uncomfortable at all, it’s simply that I didn’t wish to be a burden to you, but when you put it that way, it seems a lot less troubling for you,” she finally answered. “And you’re right, it is a big decision to make but you know…there’s no reason why I shouldn’t. As I’ve told you, this is something I’ve always wanted, and as you said, we would be back shortly, obviously barring any setbacks…so essentially, it’s the perfect scenario. If I decide it’s not for me, then I can simply return home, with no harm done.” She paused only briefly, before adding with a note of enthusiasm, “Besides, life isn’t worth living if you’re not willing to take the risk that you might be satisfied with something.”
"Well put," he admitted, nodding slightly in recognition. Not a surprising conclusion or way of thinking, really, given what little Kakashi knew of her persona. "I plan on leaving port an hour after dawn," he informed her, just short of businesslike. "I'll be waiting in the harbor beforehand, outside the old porter's shed. You can meet me there." He was leaving no room to suggest that they remain together until then; aside from being the safest and politest thing to do, it would give Temari time to rethink her decision if she so decided, as well as do whatever else she may have wanted. "And I'm sure I don't have to point out that your leaving should be kept as quiet as possible."
Having a kidnapping charge on his head wouldn't make too much of a difference in the long run, but it would still make docking difficult upon their return.
“Then I shall be there shortly beforehand,” she confirmed, with a nod and a wide grin. “Of course it won’t do to be too early, as it will only give someone more time to notice I’m gone, but I can assure you I shall be there.”
It had not yet sunk in quite what she’d agreed to. She fully understood, of course, that she would be leaving home for a few days, but her mind was merely processing it as a visit, like one might conduct to a friend in another city. It was, of course, distinctly different, and it would really only set in once they’d set off. But she wasn’t fearful, nor was she nervous. There was still an element of excitement that she was actually going to get to do something fun for a change. Of course, she’d have to cancel the luncheon she was supposed to attend in two days time but…
…she would let the servants take care of all that. She wouldn’t be telling anyone she was leaving, of course, and she would be assumed for kidnapped or worse, but she would be sure to make up a plausible story upon her return.
“But that means we are going to have to turn around right now,” she continued, voice serious, attempting to turn her expression sour, although a hint of mirth seeped through. “That is, if you plan to walk me home.”
Date: Mid-summer
Setting: Port Royale tavern
Summary: (Part 2) Temari sneaks out of the house one night and has a chance meeting with Kakashi at a local tavern. Kakashi, in lieu of a Sasuke, gives her his revenge speech, and Temari, wanting to get away from her life, finds an opportunity.
Warnings: Some language, consumption of alcohol, and a few innuendos.
Reaching into her coat pocket, she grabbed a couple coins that simply felt right, and mimicked his action, placing it next to her empty glass. She hoped it was enough, preferrably more than needed so that she wasn't shorting anyone.
"We shall," she nodded, sliding off the stool. Perhaps another benefit of not being required to act like a lady was that she didn't have to wait for anyone so that she could sit, stand, leave, or do any number of things. She was able to simply do them.
Sidestepping drunkards and barmaids with practiced ease, Kakashi weaved his way through the growing crowd towards the tavern's front, checking occasionally in the corner of his eye to make sure Temari was following.
Once outside, he slowed his pace to swiftly fall back beside her. The night was a relatively clear one, the near-empty navy sky holding more clouds than the streets did people. There was enough moon to see by even without the orange glow from the tavern and inn windows that fell upon the road; the sight hit Kakashi before the humidity did, but that was simply out of habit and instinct.
"I've always found a bit of cruel irony in this," he said suddenly, watching the buildings across the street. "When one feels low, he often seeks a friendly drink to try and forget his circumstances...and yet he's usually just reminded of his own misery by finding that others are in the same." As if to contradict him, a loud laugh erupted just behind them, breaking through the open window of the pub they had just left. Kakashi smiled and cocked his head again. "Usually," he repeated. "Regardless, it's often successful. But I am not appeased in the least to learn that life has treated you so unfairly, especially to the degree where I can sympathize, and neither do you seem very comforted by my hardships." Away from the crowd and the noise and the bustle, his mind had returned to their previous discussion; perhaps because he could think more clearly out here, or perhaps because he could think of nothing else to say. Whatever the reason, he had said it, and he meant it.
Following carefully in Kakashi's footsteps, Temari managed to get to the door safely, with a small sigh of relief and without a glance back. The warm air was not much of a change from the tavern's atmosphere, but at the very least it was fresh and did not smell strongly of unpleasant things. Drawing in a deep breath of night air and exhaling slowly, she fell into step as they meandered the streets, with no particular destination in mind. For all it was worth, it was actually proving to be rather relaxing. She must have forgotten the joys of such simple things, caught up in complicated matters of social life.
She mused over his statements, returning back to their previous conversation, finding his view interesting, if not a bit pessimistic. She felt a small twinge of remorse for making him feel bad for her, though. She really was not in that horrible of a situation, not one where her every day life was affected, and she managed to get by. She could only hope he wasn't sincere, no matter how much he sounded it. She herself felt a sort of soreness for him that she normally did not feel, but she was determined not to let it get to her and ruin her mood, by appealing to a natural propensity to see things in the worst possible way.
"But you know," she said finally, "we also take comfort in knowing that we are not alone. To be alone in the world with our problems is all the more despairing, but to have someone who sympathizes is a comfort all its own." Her attention wandered, from the street, to the surrounding buildings, and to the night sky, before finally settling back on him. "And while I am humbled that you would take my woes so seriously, I am inclined to ask that you don't. You might feel a certain understanding, and certain common sadness, and that's simply human nature...but I would rather you know not that life has been cruel to me, but to so many other people, me, you, perhaps the majority of people. Because who really lives a perfect life?"
And here a little bit more guilt settled in, feeling as though she had misled him into actually feeling pity for her, when that had not been her intention at all. And perhaps he had assumed that there was more to her story than she'd let on, a natural progression when discussing one's life with a stranger.
"And I suppose," she finally added, making up her mind, "that I do not want you to feel bad for me, because I haven't quite told you everything just yet."
Kakashi had made his comment idly and without really thinking too much about it, but Temari's response, just as serious--if not more--worked with the suddenly quiet and calm atmosphere to quickly return his mood to its usual impassivity. Despite his humor and his nature, he knew how to set both aside when the situation called for it, and he was receiving that impression now. He felt, rather than heard, the change of feeling in her voice, very much unlike her flirtatious behavior moments before. It occurred to him that her suggestion could have merely been a ruse to get them out of the tavern and nothing more, but even were that the case, he had to respect her for it.
He listened to her speak without interrupting, and then at her last comment glanced at her. "Oh?" he said curiously, and tilted his head to try and show that he wasn't being skeptical. Her use of the word "yet" had him guessing that she was going to say more, or was at least considering it, and he had nothing against it. Kakashi had never been one for lengthy conversations, but he made for a good listener; and he found an interest in Temari that most lacked--as far as he was concerned--and that didn't simply stem from her position as an attractive woman. In short, he was, actually, interested in what she had to say.
Perhaps just blurting such things out was not the best way to go about it, and there was probably a much more graceful way to have presented the situation, but there was no use in trying to skirt the issue. She had found, so often, that no matter how quickly or slowly you got to the point, the reaction was always the same. At the very least, he seemed interested in whatever it was she had to say, even though she hadn't even presented a topic yet, and it encouraged her to continue.
"I simply meant that..." She paused, biting her lip while her mind formulated the gentlest way to put it. While she may receive the same reaction regardless of what she said, she could at least make an attempt. It couldn't hurt, at the very least. "Perhaps I'm not everything you might think I am."
Kakashi resisted another slighter smile. Unless she claimed to be of a blood higher than the one he had guessed, or some completely outrageous story altogether, he doubted he would be too caught off guard by whatever she was going to say.
"Few people are," he said matter-of-factly, but again with some lightness in his tone.
Having no intention of bragging, she chose her words carefully. After all, no one liked a braggart very much, but she could think of very few ways to phrase that she had com from a wealthy family without sounding as such. She would have to hope that an alternate route would still get the same point across, without sounding as such.
"I don't know how to say this," she admitted, "but if you go the other direction down this exact street, for about four or five blocks, you'll come to a rather large house, two floors, and a sign out front that reads 'Haynsworth'. That is where I live, if you are familiar with the place, and if not...well, you seem more than capable of gathering what I am trying to say from my description."
Even that much was rather embarrassing to say, and she would have liked to justify her reasons, but she waited for his reaction before she assumed that he would be bothered. For all she knew, and from the sound of it, she might not even care, but before anything went any further, she thought it best to be upfront. It was, to her, the easiest way to avoid any unnecessary conflict or confusion.
Ah. Kakashi didn't know the exact house she had described, but he recognized the area. Not surprising, but nonetheless impressive, assuming she was telling the truth, as he had a feeling she was.
As worn as his earlier memories were, Kakashi usually had little trouble picking out the higher class in a crowd. Temari, however, had thwarted his senses somewhat, possibly because she might have been specifically aiming to conceal her background as well as she could, but even that shouldn't have made the guess too difficult. There was also the possibility that their similarities had caused Kakashi to regard her as like enough to himself that he hadn't been sure where to place her, much like how he wasn't sure just where to place himself.
The birth, name, and upbringing of a noble; the crimes, skills, and life of a pirate. His personality wandered somewhere along the line between those two.
"I know of the name," he said slowly, casually, as he continued to eye the opposite side of the street. "It's one to take pride in, I would say. Certainly nothing to be ashamed of," he added, recalling her hesitancy to admit it.
"I'm relieved that you understand. I don't mind if you'd prefer to keep your secrets to yourself, I simply didn't wish for you to regard me under...false pretenses."
It was a relief to not hear any note of anger in his voice as he acknowledged what she had said, and she discarded the notion of having to defend herself and her actions.
"And thank you," she said, flushing ever so slightly in modesty. She wasn't exactly what you would call a blushing maiden, but his compliment seemed heartfelt enough to entice just a slight rosey hue into her cheeks. On a bit of a daring whim, she moved in a little closer and made an attempt at slipping her arm around his. She could give no real reason as to why she did it, other than perhaps force of habit, but she did it none the less.
Kakashi noted the change of color in her face, only just visible in the low light, and accepted her gesture, welcoming the contact as he slipped adeptly into the proper posture without even thinking. He had to wonder why she had seemed so keen on telling him what she had--besides the reason she stated and what he figured was simple obligation--and whether she was going to add to it. After a moment, he decided it didn't matter so much what he guessed, as she would say more if she planned to.
"I own few secrets worth keeping...even fewer worth telling," he said in response to her second statement, choosing to accept her gratitude in silence. "You might have already guessed anything of real interest about my life, so there would be little left for me to confess in that case." Stealing a glimpse over his shoulder, Kakashi went on offhandedly, "Seeing as how the house you've described lies, as you said, in the other direction, I assume I haven't been invited along to simply accompany you home?"
She would have to further assume that she was right in her assumptions by his reply, something which might have made her uneasy otherwise, but the general tone since they'd left had been one of sincerity. She really couldn't think of a logical reason to distrust him...even a lie at this point would do no more harm than deceiving her, and she could think of many worse fates.
"I don't wish to go home," she stated simply, more calm than anything. "I don't enjoy it there...and I don't enjoy the lifestyle. Although I must say, moonlighting as a commoner is something new to me, as is probably...very obvious, really." She gave herself a quick glance, noting that even the servant's clothes she'd borrowed looked rather nice in comparison to many of the men in the tavern. "Then again," she added, turning her attention back to him, "I hadn't banked on meeting such a charming gentleman who would so cunningly steal my interests."
Kakashi couldn't truthfully comment on that first part; not without revealing more than he was comfortable with. However much Temari was choosing to tell, Kakashi was much more reserved in what he said. The issue wasn't one of trust, but of his own reluctance to face what he did on a daily basis more than he had to.
"Nor did I on meeting a noblewoman of such humility who would so patiently put up with me for as long as you have." Kakashi also took a brief look at her attire. "And new though you may be to the process, I personally think the look fits you well." He hesitated. As easily as he could have taken her last statement and turned the conversation in another direction, her first demanded some sort of input. Kakashi was hardly one to give advice, particularly on a matter like this one, but she had freely brought it up, after all, and so could not be too opposed to his voicing his opinion. "As for your lifestyle, you said yourself that no one lives a perfect life...but from what I've seen, you're a lovely, respectable, well-mannered woman. What's to stop you from taking charge of your life if your father isn't around to regulate it?" He knew her circumstances couldn't be as easy as that, but he only had so much information to work with.
Temari shook her head softly. She'd thought about it before, of course, but it never seemed quite that easy. Just running away from home, striking out on her own, what she most desired to do when she had no survival skills to her name...it didn't seem logical. She wasn't even confident in her cooking skills, the result of years of being waited on by a cook staff and maids. And there was no being contented in that house for very long, no matter how kind her surrogate family may be.
"Well I can't stay there and be happy, that's for certain. But I can't leave, either. Where would I go, what would I do?" It was more a rhetorical question than anything, one she didn't expect him to have an answer to, and one she didn't expect anyone but her to even be able to answer in the first place. "As soon as I left, I would have nowhere to go! And that would be just something, wouldn't it? I certainly can't live much of a life going from tavern to tavern, that's for certain."
Kakashi was silent. She obviously hadn't meant that she merely wanted to get away from this town, but away from her life. Still, she was right: it certainly wasn't in her power to just stand up and abandon her class completely, especially for anything lower and especially if she was alone. As young as he had been when he had left his old lifestyle, he'd had guidance (more or less. Lessons were lessons in the end, however roughly taught.); without that, he would have died in no time. The road he lived on now was nothing like the one he had been born into. It had its own laws, its own breeds, and nothing to enforce either of them. It was a road that demanded independence to survive, but at the same time, those who took it needed leadership, if only at first.
But if she wasn't alone...
No.
Kakashi had only one real, solid loyalty in the world, and for all he knew, it was gone, gone to his years of fruitless searching and hoping. He had lost the first and only person other than himself that he had ever been truly responsible for, possibly leaving her for dead or worse. He was in no position to chance that happening again--no amount of victories, experience, or lives saved since then had convinced him otherwise.
"You must have received some marriage proposals," he tried. "That's one manner of changing your position."
"Oh, yes, because living in an even larger mansion with even more servants to allow me to become fat and lazy will really help," she said, trying to sound more amused than she was mildly annoyed. Not with him, of course. He couldn't have known such a thing would get to her, but the proposals and courting were a particular point of bitterness. If she'd ever had to list the things that annoyed her most about living amongst the aristocracy, that would certainly be among the top things, if not the first. "Tell me, when was the last time you had some pompous ass sending you dress after dress, jewel after jewel, when you actually despised him and everything he stood for, but had to play nice lest you disgrace your family? No, that is one of the many things I seek to escape. The majority of those men are disgusting snobs, all convinced that they are too good for you, when they obviously haven't glanced in the mirror lately."
She hadn't intended to go on such a tangent, but it was not hard to get her going on such topics.
"I do very much appreciate that you are trying to convince me of how wonderful my life must be, I can tell your intentions are good, but I don't think you could ever relate," she continued much more calmly. "It must seem grand to you, and of course I don't know that any other life would be any better...I simply know the one I lead now is unbearably unsatisfying."
Her rambling just about made him chuckle, but he abstained out of respect. He had spent less time around noblewomen than he had noblemen, so perhaps he had formed the idea that all ladies in Temari's position loved being courted and flattered. If only for curiosity's sake, Kakashi couldn't help wondering if, had his life turned out differently, she would have also considered him to be a pompous ass if he had tried to win her. Then again, that was almost what he had done tonight; while he hadn't won her hand, he had earned her trust and her companionship. Marriage was built partly on that--the happier ones were, anyway.
"No, I imagine I can't very well understand what you're going through," he agreed. Had he really been so inclined, he could have asked if marrying an officer in the Navy would better suit her tastes, but he didn't bother. He was getting the impression that she wasn't looking for verbal comfort, at least not from him, and there wasn't much he could say to give her that even if she did want it. "Why not take a trip?" he suggested. "Get out of Port Royale for a bit, see the world while you're younger and before you have even more responsibilities. Perhaps not a permanent solution, but you could enjoy it for a while. Surely you can afford that?"
"Monetarily? Yes. Time wise? Perhaps not so much. I would, of course, need a chaperone...ladies of high standing simply don't sail the ocean alone, unattended," she replied, somewhat dejectedly. "I cannot tell you how much I would love to sail the ocean, see the world, but I foresee it being just the same as the crossing over here."
'It's not safe for you on deck, milady', 'please stay in your cabin, milady', do this, do that, don't do this, don't do that--that was all she heard, being kept from doing anything of interest to her, and being relegated to the most unexciting of things. And after the first time she was caught, she was not even allowed around the ships crew, which nearly incensed her. She couldn't understand how simply listening to their tales and sailor's lore was going to cause any harm. Perhaps if any of them had actually tried anything, she might have understood, but she enjoyed their conversation much more than the ones she was forced to make with the captain and some of the other noblemen traveling with them.
"It's like...it's much like how you could take a caged bird to the top of the highest cliff, to the top of the highest mountain, and although you would be so very high up...it would still be nothing like flying. No, for that you would have to release it from the cage, and only then would it truly know flying."
"A valid point," Kakashi admitted. "But say that bird discovered that the freedom she yearned for was not everything she thought it was. Then she might want to return to the way things were, but after having tasted freedom, pleasant or not, her cage would then seem all the smaller. It's a risky maneuver either way."
"I've considered that," she said with a nod. She'd thought long and hard on all sorts of things, and all the implications and possible outcomes. "What if I never try though? Then I shall never know what could have been, and I shall live the rest of my life with that thought! It's not something so easily resolved, so I think...the easiest course of action is to simply choose and go through with it. Sitting here in indecision won't do much. Unfortunately, the choice I desire to make is currently out of reach."
Remaining silent, Kakashi returned to his previous train of thought. He couldn't simply fulfill her desire and take her off--his life was not one where he could take on such a responsibility on a whim.
Not for an extended period of time, but...perhaps temporarily. If he accepted the position as captain, that would make the circumstances much smoother and, as far as she was concerned, safer. And she wasn't a child, for one thing; she even had a weapon on her, and regardless of whether she could actually use it, just bringing it along was an intelligent move. He could give her a sample of what she wanted, if only so she wouldn't always have to wonder. It was better to have loved and lost, or so they said--couldn't that apply here as well? She had apparently prepared for disappointment, so she seemed aware of her possibilities. Besides, there was nothing to say she would agree, and if she didn't, he could at least say that he had offered.
"So in short, even a brief bit of true freedom is better than none?" he inquired, voice carefully neutral.
Temari pondered for a short moment if that really was a more concise way of putting it, lest she give the wrong idea. But that really was the long and short of it. Something was better than nothing, and at least she'd have the benefit of knowing.
"Yes, I suppose you could say that," she replied, then quickly added, "but of course, that only stands true for me. You can't know well enough yet to know that I am the type who'd rather know what I was missing than never know at all."
"Hm." His mind returned to the point it had made about her weapon, and for a moment he pondered. "Bold words for a fittingly bold spirit..." He had been staring off into the distance, but now his eyes moved to find her face, and then briefly down to the hilt on her left side before returning again to the street. "So bold, in fact, that I'm inclined to believe you could be quite the terror with such a fine blade." Kakashi said it casually, curiously, hoping she would oblige and allow him to learn a little about her skill.
“I like to think I have some skill, yes,” she said slowly, almost cautiously. She liked to think that she had a lot of skill. But at the back of her mind, she understood that what she had wasn’t skill, but potential. What she lacked was practical experience. As such, she chose her words cautiously. Generally, she would be one to brag, but it also occurred to her that this man could and just might have much more up his sleeve than she did.
“I also think that there is a lot I could stand to learn,” she added, finally deciding on the proper wording. It pained her pride to admit it, but she could not bring herself to embellish, lest she get caught in the act. Getting caught in a lie was far more embarrassing than admitting you only had mediocre skills with a sword. “The sorts of things that you simply can’t learn when you have to be at dinner or a upscale party in an hour.”
Unless a swordfight interrupts your dinner, Kakashi added swiftly to himself, but said nothing on that out loud. He was glad she was being honest, as he would much rather underestimate than overestimate her abilities. There was also a chance she was being modest and downplaying her skill--and, of course, the ever present possibility that she was lying completely--but all he could really do at this point was trust her. It was the same he would be asking of her, after all (truthfully, he already was asking by being alone with her like this), so it was a fair trade.
"And would you say you could hold your own, should the worst possibility occur and you find yourself having to do so?" His tone was light and ever casual, but he no longer attempted to conceal or mask his question behind general curiosity, as he had already drawn close to the intention behind it.
There was a drawn out silence as Temari thought how best to answer this question, as it was really something she hadn’t thought of before, not on a serious level. She’d dreamt of suddenly having skills she did not possess, and fantasized about what she might be able to accomplish if she had them, but she had never stopped to think about whether she could hold her own in a real duel. There were so many factors...someone would honestly be trying to defeat her for reasons other than mere practice, but she would also be trying to win in turn, possibly for her life, and she’d never experienced that. The terms of life and death weren’t ones she was intimately familiar with. But the question was also specific-it wasn’t a question of whether or not she could be victorious, but if she could hold her own, rendering in her mind as merely defending herself, rather than taking the offense as well.
“If there were no other options, but to fight? Well then, I don’t think there’s any question about it…of course I could. I would have to, wouldn’t I?” Perseverance was just another thing she prided herself on, and while it was entirely unproven, she firmly believed that she could at least defend herself well enough, even against someone with more experience. Desperation, she had heard, could work wonders, and so she continued, just to clarify. “But of course…that is assuming the alternative would mean losing my life.”
A fair enough deduction. Hardly one to take as an answer to what Kakashi was thinking, but it was one of several factors. Her response was better than a flat "yes" or "no" (although he really hadn't expected the latter), and while he could have pointed out that running away, surrendering, were occasional options, he resisted. That was delving deeper into the matter than he cared to go or thought necessary.
"One last question, then, if I may." Kakashi looked at her again, but this time held his gaze steady. Other than that serious look, his posture and voice and everything else remained as they had. "Do you trust me, Miss Temari, enough to believe me when I say that I have only the best of intentions in regard to your interests?"
“Last question?”
Temari hadn’t been aware she was being quizzed or pointedly questioned, just that they were having a simple conversation. It wasn’t so much a concern as it was something to make her mildly curious, but she would at least give him the chance to explain himself, pending her answer, an answer she could not easily come up with. Normally, it would take months or even years to actually trust a person. There was no real way of knowing if the face this man had shown her tonight was his real one or merely a façade, regardless of what his intent for falsifying himself would be. As well, Temari wasn’t the most easy to trust, and could name very few people that she did thing to intend only the best for her. But for whatever reason, she felt more comfortable around him, more lax about what she let slip. Perhaps it was the comfort of a stranger, of someone she could shrug off if she said too much. And if he intended to cause her harm, he would have done it long ago, when they’d been safe from prying eyes and ears. And impulsive as she could be, she found little reason to believe he had bad intentions.
“Well, only a fool would trust someone they just met that much,” she said, as if she were saying that the sky was blue or the ocean was deep. Still, she had a smile on her face. “So I would suppose…that makes me the king of fools.”
Looking ahead again, Kakashi also smiled, but briefly, and his expression slipped easily back to its default impassive as he went on. "I'm not sure whether it would mean much to you, and if by chance it does not, forgive me for wasting valuable time with you by voicing the matter." He paused, considering his words after simply buying time with his last. "My ship is set to leave port in the morning," he informed her, using the same tone that she just had. If she hadn't already guessed so far as to whether he would have ties with a ship, he figured it couldn't come as too much of a surprise, and so he didn't elaborate on that area of the matter. "I've no intent to go much farther than the Caribbean, and plan to port back here in a few days' time." Another pause, to let her consider that.
Slowing a bit in his pace, Kakashi concluded, "I've room enough for one more." That was an understatement. "And while trust is not the only issue at hand, I nonetheless thought it worth mentioning, given your circumstances, as I would be perfectly willing to take you along and enjoy your company a while longer if you deemed it worth the effort." He said all this without looking at her, not entirely sure what to expect in terms of an answer but prepared for anything.
It was a big decision to be making, even if saying yes would not guarantee that he would take her in the end. But still, what she said now could easily start in motion a chain of events that would ultimately culminate into running away from home, if only for a few days. She was not at all opposed to the idea on a personal level, but at the same time, there was her foster family to consider, as well as any further conditions he might decide to name, of which she was not yet aware. Her heart would have her say yes, unconditionally, but in such matters, her mind won out.
“I appreciate the offer, and I’ll say that initially, I’m agreeable to it, however…don’t you think that space would be better filled by a more apt crew member?” She had slowed with him, to a leisurely amble, a comfortable stride at which she could consider things a little better, without fear of tripping. “What I mean is…in only a few days time, any skills that I do have would be absolutely useless. I am neither strong, nor anything of a navigator, nor a cook, nor can I entertain. I can sew, but I don’t imagine that would be anything anyone might need, and I suppose I can clean just as well as anyone else. Is there something you intend for me to do? I would simply hate to be dead weight, just because you’ve taken pity on me.”
Kakashi had given the invitation with the intention of treating her as a guest--ironically--and so it hadn't crossed his mind to make her do anything. Even now, he would never dream of making her clean up after any of his men, and in truth, any positions with a job to do had already been filled, although there was always room for another pair of hands. While there was the possibility that she had only said such in an attempt to tell him no in a manner that wasn't too straightforward, he didn't think it fit her.
"It's not so much a dead weight, or pity," he replied evenly. "I offered out of gratitude for the camaraderie you've given me tonight, and was expecting nothing in return after this point. But," he obliged, "if you're concerned as to whether you'll find such an outing lacking in activity, I'm sure something can be found. You say you can't navigate or cook, but I know several men who can and shouldn't be opposed to letting you observe a bit of either, were you interested. And if you're really so set on contributing, there are a few small jobs around the ship that you could help on if you chose.
"Of course, I understand if you wouldn't feel comfortable. Leaving your life on the word of stranger, even temporarily, is not a matter to decide on lightly or in too much haste. But as I said, I deemed it worth mentioning regardless."
“A learning experience, then, would you say?”
Under those terms, perhaps she could accept that she would be otherwise useless and in the way. Of course logically, running off with a stranger was never a good idea. But if she ever wanted to get out, it was rather unlikely that it would be with someone with whom she was intimately familiar. Really, it would be a stranger either way, although this one had shown her at least a little bit of trustworthiness. A chance like this may never present itself again, and her impulsiveness kicked in.
“The idea does not make me uncomfortable at all, it’s simply that I didn’t wish to be a burden to you, but when you put it that way, it seems a lot less troubling for you,” she finally answered. “And you’re right, it is a big decision to make but you know…there’s no reason why I shouldn’t. As I’ve told you, this is something I’ve always wanted, and as you said, we would be back shortly, obviously barring any setbacks…so essentially, it’s the perfect scenario. If I decide it’s not for me, then I can simply return home, with no harm done.” She paused only briefly, before adding with a note of enthusiasm, “Besides, life isn’t worth living if you’re not willing to take the risk that you might be satisfied with something.”
"Well put," he admitted, nodding slightly in recognition. Not a surprising conclusion or way of thinking, really, given what little Kakashi knew of her persona. "I plan on leaving port an hour after dawn," he informed her, just short of businesslike. "I'll be waiting in the harbor beforehand, outside the old porter's shed. You can meet me there." He was leaving no room to suggest that they remain together until then; aside from being the safest and politest thing to do, it would give Temari time to rethink her decision if she so decided, as well as do whatever else she may have wanted. "And I'm sure I don't have to point out that your leaving should be kept as quiet as possible."
Having a kidnapping charge on his head wouldn't make too much of a difference in the long run, but it would still make docking difficult upon their return.
“Then I shall be there shortly beforehand,” she confirmed, with a nod and a wide grin. “Of course it won’t do to be too early, as it will only give someone more time to notice I’m gone, but I can assure you I shall be there.”
It had not yet sunk in quite what she’d agreed to. She fully understood, of course, that she would be leaving home for a few days, but her mind was merely processing it as a visit, like one might conduct to a friend in another city. It was, of course, distinctly different, and it would really only set in once they’d set off. But she wasn’t fearful, nor was she nervous. There was still an element of excitement that she was actually going to get to do something fun for a change. Of course, she’d have to cancel the luncheon she was supposed to attend in two days time but…
…she would let the servants take care of all that. She wouldn’t be telling anyone she was leaving, of course, and she would be assumed for kidnapped or worse, but she would be sure to make up a plausible story upon her return.
“But that means we are going to have to turn around right now,” she continued, voice serious, attempting to turn her expression sour, although a hint of mirth seeped through. “That is, if you plan to walk me home.”