Well then. Christian is oficially a nuisance. He says he still loves me and that he still want to marry me. Yeah. Why can't I just tell him to go fuck himself and get it over with? He dosen't know how bad it bothers me. And another thing. Old friends. They're not my friends anymore, but they can atleast give me some FUCKING respect. What more can I ( Read more... )

So... yeah. I miss Kimmy. I miss her so damn much. I wonder how Desi is going to be affected by this. She's only three. Such a dramatic change. I know she loved Kimmy. Didn't we all? Kimmy was like a mother to me. Like a mother to nearly anyone younger than her. She had a aura that made everyone feel comfortable around her. She was loving and ( Read more... )

Last year's begun again. The only difference is... no one has killed themselves this year. Christian and I may be over. I don't know. I don't want them to be. He still has feelings for Amber-whatever the fuck she's called. She will be known as Amber. The night he was out with his "girlfriend" Amber was the night he almost cheated on me. I still ( Read more... )

I feel like I'm loseing everyone around me. I think Christian may be cheating on me with Amber Lyn, Josh wont talk to me because I told him he shouldn't worry about me because I don't like people worrying sbout me, Beth is spending so much time with Lori now, Abby is conforming and getting pissed at me because she's changing to be like one of them ( Read more... )

I miss Christian. Sucks He's still on His business trip. :(. I really want to talk to Him. Even if it's just once. :). Ohh well ( Read more... )

Know what? I don't either. Don't ask. I don't take my meds anymore. They make me more depressed than I am before I take them. Katherine said she would take me off of them in six months. Fuck that. I'm fasting again. I need to stock up on gum and diet pills. Everyone says it's unhealthy to fast... but people do it for lent. Why can't I do it because ( Read more... )

I feel like I could run, and never stop. Maybe that's my problem.... I run too much. Everything is fake............

God I am...

Anyway. I am in a blasphemous mood at the moment. I think... SOMEONE should move! *Me*

Too much going on. Mum got me some psychiatrist. She claims I have a "problem" and she is concerned.

::: Sigh :::

.:: Rayna

I... am going to be gone for a while ( Read more... )

::: Bummed it off my old journal ( Read more... )