i can't sleep. i don't mean the normal spurt of insomnia that happens, but a going a week fight with it. it's five in the morning, i've been up since nine with about three hours of sleep, and i'm not tired at all. i tried running, forcing myself to sleep, reading, watching bad tv - nothing. i got nothing. i think i'm just going to stay up for the ( Read more... )

well. so i've become a hermit because of pride. i'm too proud to suck it up to my boss and curtail to him, even though he's fucking wrong. so i haev to deal with getting one day a week and being gutterpoor. fun. so if i don't leave the house, i don't spend money, right? at least yesterday was the chargers game, and today i can clean, and thursday i ( Read more... )

i move alot. i realised that today, and i think it's sort of funny how well i've adapted to it. nobody has to help me move. i can do it all by myself. everything fits into my trunk. i never was one to keep sentimental things, and me and stuff never had the relationship most people have. i can throw away almost anything. except my books. i guess ( Read more... )

i'm aggraivated. this dui is fucking killing me. it's not the money or the time - though that does suck - it's the feeling of helplessness and burden. i spent four years paying off my car, and now that i own it, it sits parked outside. and i have to bother my brothers and sister for rides places like a fucking teenager because ncounty public ( Read more... )

my dui has seriously reduced my carbon footprint.

al gore's got nothing on me.

i forgot my goddamn work shoes at home, and now i have to go to the DAV and buy new ones.

this is like the sixth time this has happened. fuuuccckkkk.

lifejournal, huh?

i forget i have this thing for months at a time, and then remember
no matter how gay it is, i still like hearing what people have to say about themselves.

they have been sitting on this park bench for fourty years

comparing the same faded scars and faded stories

the same chess board between them, the same banter

and i can see they couldn't have been happier

time has been no kinder to them than any man

hands that shake with age hover over pawns and knights

but the shift in the weather or a passing woman is ( Read more... )

it's not about who's right, or who's wrong.
it's about who's stronger.

i think everything i've been dealing with boils down to incompatibility.
it's a tiny word, but i'm pretty sure it means everything.
people make excuses, reasons, lies to justify why they have people in their lives that don't belong.
fuck that. i'm done making

compromises.

so here's to being alone.
and here's to being alright with it.