Why I Hate Talking About Modesty. Hate It. Passionately

[etimodnar]

So here's a CHRISTIAN issue I feel very strongly about and every time I read something on this topic, I feel compelled to respond. So having done a lot of thinking about this issue, here are my thoughts. Atheist friends, please refrain from attacking the Bible or Christianity if you decide to comment :)

What do I affirm?I affirm modesty as an

Comments

[etimodnar]

I don't envy youth leaders in their position to teach and navigate this issue. I definitely agree it's necessary!! Figuring out a way to do it without bringing shame or body anxiety into the mix would be difficult.

Appropriate clothing to church isn't just person to person, but church to church. And generations too. Aforementioned trendy churches, vs most of the churches I've attended that are smart-casual. So my casual jeans + a nice top is appropriate. I'd feel really weird wearing a nice dinner-dress to church because I know I'm probably going to end up playing on the floor with the kids. Or if a visitor came and were wearing more casual clothes. The church I'm in now, being remote and predominantly Aboriginal is an interesting mix though. Adult tend to wear their every day clothes, yet dress their children is really nice outfits. So I just wear every day clothes too. If I'm wearing my skinny jeans (a "nice" clothing item), then I'll dress it down with a more casual top. Or vice-versa :)

[spally]

This is an amazing post. Well put. Thanks for writing it.

[etimodnar]

Thanks Spall, I kinda thought my thoughts were all over the place. But thank you!! :D

A Guy's Perspective

[pedrowazelski]

Hi Kat,
Thanks for the post.
You mentioned trying to be considerate with your clothing on behalf of the Christian guys around you and desiring them to work at purity themselves. This is an important balance. I am completely responsible for how I look at women (in a Christian setting or not), and it is my problem if I'm staring at a woman's body in lust. Let me say that my sister takes care to be modest, as does my mum and all the women at my church as well. This is tremendously helpful! However, it does not eliminate the problem I have with objectifying women and their bodies. I sin in this area. I am a man, and men are sick and like dogs when it comes to sinful thoughts. May God have mercy on me.
So, I think in my Christian circles, it is not an issue of women being immodest intentionally, but rather us men needing to work at our wrong thoughts. The Bible speaks on this, so we can't argue it's not an issue!
God bless you, Kat, and press on for Christ.
Pete

Re: A Guy's Perspective

[etimodnar]

I think it gets easier with time and practice. And bringing the Gospel to bear on it too. There's an article I read recently that was really insightful into the bloke's side of things: What's in The Look?

I objectify people based on how they look as well. See above where I disparagingly talk about teenage girls with their stupid clothes :) Or where I'm not immune to judging other women on their short skirts. Admittedly, I find cleavage fascinating and there are times when I have to make a conscious effort to look away damnit! It's an issue for EVERYONE in some measure.

But we're both being made holy, Pete. God is sanctifying us by his Spirit, convicting us and making us more like Jesus. Yay! We gotta keep working at this sanctification process too.

[stawberi]

This is a very interesting post. There was a lot of modesty talk among the Islamic students when I was in Indonesia. One problem I find with the "modesty movement" as you term it, is that people think rape is all about lust. It's not. Lust is a factor, yes, but so is control. A man who is going to rape is still going to rape a modestly dressed woman and, depending on the man, may also do so because he sees her as repressed or high-and-mighty and in need of "taking down a peg or two".

Modesty to me is about wearing clothes that let me express myself, make me feel comfortable and will encourage people worthy of my respect to respect me. So, cartoon character tees and a pair of miracle jeans. :P